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You must leave me ; some one is coming." P. 181. 



FIRST AND SECOND 

EXCURSION TO FAIRIS^ 

BEING 

A FORTNIGHT'S RAMBLE; 

TOGETHER WITH HIS 

SUBSEQUENT VISIT. 

M^^ BY THE CH. R***. l/^ 

XRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH, 
BYFJR.9J^CIS LEVESQUE, Sr. 

I'ROFESSOR OF LANGUAGES, AND SWORN TRANSLATOR. 

NEW-YORK : 

PUBLISHED BY FRANCIS LEVESQUE, Si. 

NO. 146 CHAMBER-STREET. 



1814. 



^* 1890 * '"^ 






c='-t^,.^_^^ 



\.^. 






7 ■^- ^'^^ J^/.^;^ 



E IT REMEMBERED, that on the twenty-fourth day of May, 
in the thirty -scTentti year of the Independence of the United States "of 
America, Francis Laresque, of the said District, hatli deposited in this 
ofBee the title of a Book, the right whereof he claims as Proprietor, 
in the words following, to wit: 

Lord D*»»V Tint and Seeotvi Excursion to Paris, being a Fortnight's 
Ramble, loxelher ivUh his subsequent Visit. By the Ch. R*'*. Translated 
from the French by Francis Levesgue. Sr. Professor of languages, and 
stvorn Translator. 

In conformity to the act of the Congress of the United States, entitled, 
"an act for the enconrauement of learning, by securing the copies of 
maps, charts, and books, to the authors and jn-oprietors of such copies, 
during the time thei-ein mentioned :" and also to an act entitled " an act 
Supplementary to an act, entitled an act for the encouragement of learning', 
by securing the copies of maps, charts, and books, to the authors and piTs- 
prietors of such copies, during the times therein mentioned, and extending 
the benefits thereof to the arts ofdpsigning, engraving, and etching histori- 
cal and other prims." THERON RUDD, Clerk of the District of 

Ifew-Tork. 



^ 



CONTENTS. 



FIRST DAY. 

paSe- 

Arrival at Paris, and first acquaintances in that 
City,. .....:. 9 

SECOND DAY. 

Decisive issue, - 44 

THIRD DAY. 

Morning's event. Dangerous and singular visit. 
Another kind of cheat, . . . ,70 

FOURTH DAY. 

Grievous alarm 5 loss seemingly repaired, . 87 

FIFTH DAY. 

Stock-jobbing; great concerns; grievous disco- 
very, ........ 99 

SIXTH DAY. 

Sad reflections. Change of scene. An honoura- 
ble visit. Second fall, • . . .106 

SEVENTH DAY. 

What follows the amorous attempts. Plain-talk 
of an exalted courtesan with an ingenious ser- 
vant Singular agreement, . . . .126 



IV CONTENTS. 

EIGHTH DAY. 

Pictures; composition of an eminent Painter; 
keen mora! reflections; French play; reflec- 
tions on Shakspeare and Moliere, . 145 

NINTH DAY. 

A new acquaintance ; horse race. Meeting of a 
strange character, . . . . ,161 

TENTH DAY. 

It is necessary for one never to reckon •without 
his host, 1 70 

ELEVENTH DAY. 

A new piece of folly. Hope deceived, . .178 

TWELFTH DAY. 

The Doctor's prudence ; his retreat, . .186 

THIRTEENTH DAY. 

Additional and unexpected misfortunes. Griev- 
ous disgrace. Consolation. Extraordinary 
meeting, 190 

FOURTEENTH DAY. 

What kind of a man was my Provensal. My 
leaving prison, . . . ; . .207 

FIFTEENTH DAY. 

Wise reflections on a defective law. Adieu and 

parting, ....... 226 



PREFACE. 

The translation of this Fortnight^s Ram- 
ble is the only one hitherto written. It has 
been carefully revised, and such errors cor- 
rected as were apparent. 

Though the title given, together with the 
whole work, is a faithful translation of the 
original ; yet every thing that was thought 
interesting, has been taken and condensed, 
together with the introduction of such new 
matter as occurred in the perusal of other 
jaaemoirs, in reference to the time when this 
excursion was made, from materials in the 
possession of the translator, who proposes 
shortly to present them to the public. 



ADVERTISEMENT. 

THIS work is written for the instruction and bene- 
fit of all foreigners who may, from inexperience, be se- 
duced into the snares of the artful and debased, who so 
numerously infest large cities. It would even be of 
importance, if parents Avere to put this narrative into 
the hands of those whom they send abroad; it might 
prove a useful manual, by exposing the vices of the 
gayest city in the world. 



LORD D***'s 

FIRST AND SECOND EXCURSION TO PARIS 

BEING 

A FORTNIGHT'S RAMBLE. 

PIUST DAY. 



Arrival at Paris, and first acquaintances 
in that City, 

After six years' absence from France, I 
am now on my second journey to Paris ; 
the first was a tour of fifteen days. I have 
spent more than six years in reflecting" on 
tlie many follies witnessed there in that pe- 
riod, and now publish an account, in order 
to instruct my poor countrymen, whom with 
grief I have observed treading the same 
steps. After such an absence, that city ap- 
peared very different. I had then hardly at- 
tained my eighteenth year ; and I hope, for 
my honour, that evei-y line will demonstrate 
the very humble confession which follows. 

In 177], I left London with the retinue, 
equipage, and the dispositions of the most 



14 A Fortniyhi's Ramble. 

part of our starlings ; that is to say, with u 
good coach, two English footmen, a con- 
fidential provensal valet, and letters of cre- 
dit to a considerable amount; the pro- 
duct destined to defray the expenses during 
the whole course of my journies, which were 
to embrace many great states in Europe. 
But, unhappily, I took my route through 
France ; and enjoyed a very short period of 
being called My Lord, by all the courtesans, 
sharpers, chimney-sweepers, and subalterns 
of every kind in the city. 

Arrived at Calais, I met M. S , and 

after having hired one of those interpreter 
footmen whom it is customary to take, in 
order to make up the deficiencies as respects 
language, of which our English servants 
are ignorant, we took the road to Paris. 
Kotwithstauding the skill and effrontery of 
my provensal, I increased my retinue with 
one of them, who drove us without accident 
to P. R 's Hotel, St. Germain suburb. 

This house had been recommended to 
me at Calais by le Sieur Desaint, as the one 
at which all the Lords of our nation resort- 
ed, and the only hotel that became a man 
who travelled in a berlin, and bearer of 
twelve thousand pound sterling. My pride 



A Fortnight's Ramble. lo 

yielded to show, and unhappily 1 had all 
the good will possible to become the dupe 
of the splendour of a furnished and repu- 
table hotel. 

The Sieur Beam, a most civil and cour- 
teous landlord, came to receive me at my 
stepping from the coach : and from that in- 
stant, he gilded the pill by the most humble 
politeness, which bore a character of such 
moving honesty, that I really believed him 
to be the most obliging man in France, if 
not one who sustained the greatest probity. 
So great was my infatuation, that, like the 
citizen nobleman of Moliere, I would with 
pleasure have given him a guinea for every 
bow he made. They were, however, so 
swift and so incessant, that he wouhl have 
emptied my purse quicker than the jour- 
neyman taylor drained that of Mr. Jordan. 

His head down, and body half bent, my 
landlord, with a flambeau in hand, walked 
before me with profound respect ; and led 
me into a fine spacious drawing-room in 
the first story. After making me examine 
its elegance and convenience, he declared 
that I should pay but forty guineas a month ; 
to which proposition, he added a list of all 
the peers of England, who had been pleas- 



16 A FortniyhCs Ramble. 

ed with it on the same terms, and ended his 
conversation by an insinuation equally dex- 
terous and kind — of the many gratifications 
they added gratuitously, as marks of satis- 
faction for his personally waiting on them. 
I had too much ostentation and ignorance 
lo contradict the perfidious inn-keeper ; 
therefore I remained in possession of the first 
story, with the certain tax of forty guineas 
per month, besides other speculations he 
had beforehand grounded on my kitchen, 
equipage, and all the other extravagancies 
I had the appearance of requiring during 
my stay. 

After having been lulled into a profound 
sleep, with the pleasing dreams and the 
foretaste the pleasures of Paris occasioned, 
I was awakened by one of the two hired ser- 
vants the Sieur Beam's care had added to 
my retinue ; who brouoht me word that 
Doctor *** had already called with the 
intention of a full visit, and in order not to 
disturb my sleep, he had put off his respect 
to twelve o'clock. It was no more than 
ten in the morning ; I did not know the 
Doctor, and could not conjecture what in- 
terest he could have for a being who he 
could only have been apprized of within 



A Fortnight's ilamhle. 17 

fifteen hours : 1 however was determined to 
wait for this oblig^ing- visitor ; from whom I 
might possibly learn something useful, or 
at least some merry conceit, worthy of the 
fickle wit of the nation which I had come 
to study. 

I then waited for him. During" the two 
hours that passed until his return, I was as- 
sailed with a multitude of shop-keepers, 
stage players, taylors, professors of lan- 
guages, and dancing masters. Little ac- 
customed then to the ways and manners of 
the world, the only conclusion I drew from 
these interested visits, was to apply to my 
own person a foolish importance, that could 
be but the raving and petty pride of my 
youth. At last the Doctor made his ap- 
pearance, and confirmed my opinion. I 
will give the description of this man at 
some length, because he had a great share 
in all the extravagancies that have signaliz- 
ed my beginning in the world. Let one 
fancy a face in which is described a mix- 
ture of impudence, taken at first for an ho- 
nest boldness, with a smile that expresses at 
the first glance a friendly zeal, but allayed 
with a kind of reverence, so as to single out 
the silly and studied politeness of a subal- 

B 2 



18 yi Fortni(/hfs Ramble, 

tern intriguer without wit; a small head 
wrapped in two curls of hair the big'ness of 
an arm, and fifteen inches long, proceeding 
from the brows, stretching in a circumflex 
way three inches under the ears, in order to 
meet the nape of the neck, where it formed 
an enormous bulk ; the whole smoothed and 
highly greased, resembling a huge shell, al- 
most secreting a small head from observa- 
tion ; when it was discovered, one would 
vainly have sought for traits of knowledge 
or understanding in the features of his face. 
The fancy pemwig, of which 1 have drawn 
the picture, had for support a body length- 
ened upwards like a vine prop, the limbs be- 
ing largest at the end ; and together giving 
an altitude of about seven English feet; 
this complicated piece of contrivance was 
clothed with a coat that announced at least 
a marquis, by its uncommon taste. A long- 
sword rattled at the place where elastic 
plumpness would have graced its move- 
ment ; long fingers, placed at the end of a 
broad hand, were in a ridiculous manner 
loaded with rings of some value, which I 
have since learned were so many rewards 
for good offices rendered to some of my 
wealthy countrymen ; I shall hereafter have 



A Fortni(/hfs Ramble. 19 

an opportunity to sliow the nature thereof. 
The crash of twenty toys tokl me from the 
parlour there was something much hke a 
mule ; but it had only the moral resem- 
blance with the family of that creature. 
Such was the Doctor's exterior. As soon 
as he mentioned his titles, and declared him- 
self a member of the faculty, I could not 
forbear to recall to my mind, when in Eng- 
land, it had been foretold, that on my arrival 
in France, I should lind every thing more sin- 
gular and elegant, than rational and learn- 
ed. I caused the glittering Esculapius to sit 
down, and handed him a cup of tea which 
I had yet before me, waiting with some im- 
patience for him to explain himself as 
to the motives of his visit. 

The Doctor expressed himself in English 
with readiness -, but his accent was not pure: 

I judged him to be a native of I , and 

it was not long before he gave me an op- 
portunity to ascertain it. After the com- 
pliments and general offers of services, cus- 
tomary in the interview of a new acquaint- 
ance, were over, he went on thus : " It ap- 
pears to me, that my lord is to make some 
stay in this city ; at his age people come to 
seek for pleasure, and one seldom fails to 



20 A FortnighCs Ramble. 

find it; but it is necessary to have a select 
society, and one could not be too nice in its 
choice. He oug'ht also to have a know- 
ledg"e of the language. I should be most 
pleased to deserve so much of his confi- 
dence, as to depend on me for those mat- 
ters." To this courteous introduction, he 
added the names of the peers and gentle- 
men of England, with whom he had had 
some connexion : I knew the names of a 
great many kinsmen and friends. That 
gave more warmth to our conversation; he 
talked of their gratitude and generosity. 
He even showed me jewels and likenesses, 
which he called precious remembrances of 
his dear friends, Lord such a one. Sir such 
a one, Mr. such a one. Seduced by these 
tokens of their friendship towards him, and 
the warmth of his offers, I was insensibly 
led to grant him my confidence, and in the 
unknown country 1 was in, to be guided by 
his advice. I accordingly invited him to 
dinner; he promised that in order to please 
me, he would break off an engagement of 
moment, and stepped out, promising he 
■would return to my company. 

The Doctor had scarcely turned his back, 
■when the interpreter footman, with the two 



yi Forlniyht's Ramble. 21 

hired servants I had from the landlord, 
came in to praise him. They were inex- 
haustible in their commendation towards 
that man, who indeed blended profit with 
pleasm*e. All this was uttered with so lit- 
tle affectation, and so much cunning, it has 
required facts in order to convince me of 
the intelligence of the Panegyrist with the 
Saint : Surely it is not at the age of eigh- 
teen, one suspects that raffled intriguers are 
apt to buy fame from knaves in livery. By 
the talking of this eloquent pack of servants, 
as much was said of the parties of plea- 
sure the Doctor had made, as the cures he 
had performed. It is true they followed 
one another. Whilst digesting my break- 
fast, and reading carelessly the Stranger's 
Guide, or Paris Almanac, Mr. Tuft was 
deeply engaged in the art of paper curls, 
in order to give a French style to my head. 
This useful employment took two hours, 
which made a part of the time which the 
Doctor spent in visiting in the neighbour- 
hood. Englishmen resort in crowds in 
Saint Germam suburb : and of those that 
come in it of any note, not one escapes the 
Doctor's attention. Happily he never un- 
dertakes to cure them of those evils, that 



22 A Fortnir/hi's Ramble, 

have a destructive tendency, which cure 
would require great medical sagacity. Since 
my knowledge of him, I have o)3served that 
he adroitly declined every thing- which was 
of a complicated and dangerous nature, in 
order to attend solely to accidental diseases. 
No doubt his practice in that way must be 
most shining, inasmuch, while he cures 
them with one hand, he maims them with 
the other. 

He came in exactly at three; and at an 
exhorbitant price did the Sieur Beam give 
us a slender dinner. The sight thereof pro- 
voked the Doctor, and, with far more con- 
fidence than myself, he scolded louder than 
I should have presumed to do. From that 
instant, he took on himself to regulate my 
house. As a requital for the dissatisfaction 
he showed in seeing me so ill attended, I 
thought I should prevent the excess. " It is 
true, Doctor," said I to him, " the entertain- 
ment is bad, but we may m turn set our- 
selves a drinking excellent Burgundy wine." 
" Tjet us see," said he with warmth. Thus 
speaking, he called for a glass which he 
held to his lips. '< From whence is this wine?" 
continued he, roughly. A hired servant 
trembling, answered him, it came from Pen- 



A ForinigMs Ramble. 2o 

tac. " Detestable poison," cried he aloud, 
" and worthy the accursed tavern where it 
was made!" Then applying to one of my 
men, he requested pen, mk, and paper; 
having written a few words : " Here," said 

he, " run to I , the king's wine merchant, 

tell him, whilst I am making out the order 
for an assortment, to send my lord one hun- 
dred flagons of his best Pomar wine." The 
easy and obedient servant, at his voice, dis- 
appeared like lightning. Unacquainted 
with the kind Doctor's shifts and pecu- 
liarities, I remained speechless with admi- 
ration, joy, and gratitude. 

It was not before the greatest exertion, 
that his conversation was revived : number- 
less words were lavished on the names of 
those people of note whom he was to apply 
to for my education, the most able masters 
of every kind he intended to select to attend 
me. Each expression ended as lx)llows : 
" Do not make yourself uneasy, this I take 
charge of — that 1 answer for." Then sue- 
ceeded the scandalous reports of all the 
pretty intrigues of our my lords vt'ith the 
opera beauties : who had had this one ; who 
had begun to set off that one ; the extrava- 
gancies lavished for them : the celebrity and 



24 A ForlnlghCs Ramble. 

lively qualities of those ladies ; their faults 
and charms ; the danger of some of them, 
with a thousand pretty anecdotes and plea- 
sant tricks. All these particulars excited 
my curiosity, and enlivened the remainder 
of the dinner. As soon as vv^e were risen 
from table, the Doctor, assuming a serious 
and consequential air: ^* Pray, my lord, who is 

your banker?" "M. G ." "^The worse for 

it; and I am sorry it is not *** ; that is 
strange. Few excepted, there is not an 
Englishman of your note and rank, who is 
not recommended to him. Besides the 
greatest integrity and zeal for your concerns, 
you would have been connected with a house 
no less agreeable than the master^s sense and 
talents, associated with a numerous and se- 
lect company that resorts there for sport." — 
" Gambling ? how ! to a house where confi- 
dence ought ever to replenish the chest !" — 
" Principles of your heavy and scrupulous 
country ! A true speculative mind makes 
a real branch of trade of gambling. Please, 
my lord, to tell me, what difference do you 
make of one who should venture to thirty 
and forty, and those loose and doubtful spe- 
culations that are transacted in your public 
funds ? But we should in no wise allow 



A FoHni(/ht's Rambie. 25 

that a banker who holds properly in trust, 
should sport it away in ruinous bets, for at least 
but his possible personal gain." He replied, 
•*No doubt your letters of credit are to a great 
amount." " On Paris, I have about twelve 
thousand pounds sterling." This piece of 
indiscrete communication, uttered with no 
less share of vanity than inexperience, gave 
full scope to the Doctor's views, by essen- 
tially satisfying his curiosity. " A pretty 
sum," he replied warmly ; " we might buy 
with it the whole city ! Well ! I will in- 
troduce you at the Baron ***'s ; you can 
there move in the most genteel circle of so- 
ciety ; he is a man of the first rank and, 
fortune, the reward of his superior talents ; 
in this country he astonishes the learned, 
not only from the novelty of his genius, but 
equally from the depth of his general know- 
ledge. At his house you will meet with a 
number of the most distinguished charac- 
ters; many of whom speak your tongue 
fluently : thus, in the meanwhile, as the 
Abbot F***'s lessons have qualified you 
to participate in the French language, you 
will be agreeably diverted." I thanked the 
JPoctor for his many works of kuidness. 



26 A Fortnight's Ramble, 

He rose up, and pulling the bell ; " It is 
necessary," said he, " that I shouUl examine 
what kind of a carriage the landlord has 
provided for you ; let all these little details 
be left to me : I will take charge of them 
with pleasure ; and do my utmost, that you 
may not incur any imposition." " See," 
added he, with authority to one of my men 
who came in, " see if my lord's coach is rea- 
dy ;" and without waiting an answer ; " Let 
us step down," said he, " it is now six 
o'clock, we will visit the opera, and from 
thence go to the Baron ***^," 

Under the care of this extraordinary men^ 
tor, who thus made himself master of my 
person, I proceeded in a good hired coach, 
the back of it crowded with my servants, 
who by the Doctor's attention were each 
furnished with a cane : in an instant we 
were conveyed to the entrance of the Royal 
Palace. I alighted with my guide, who, 
without giving me time to view the build- 
ing, obtained in a hurry the play tickets 
from one of my most nimble hired ser- 
vants, who obeyed him upon the least sign, 
and swiftly hurried me into the play-house, 
in one of the balconies next to the stage, 
where he sat by my side. It was not long 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 27 

before the curtain rose. For the first time, 
I heard that monstrous compound of blus- 
tering- and heavy music, executed without 
taste or animation, and capers without ex- 
pression, which French enthusiasm takes 
and gives for their first style of exhibition. 
Giving way to the heaviness that surround- 
ed me, I began to survey every corner of 
that immense house, and ended by casting 
my eyes on my companion ; whose optics 
were busily employed. I observed a kind 
of sympathetic understanding between his 
looks and those of some of the goddesses 
who were dancing on the stage. Every 
time the representation of some interlude 
brought these to our view, they seemed 
eagerly to eye my English dress and coun- 
tenance. — " It seems you take but little plea- 
sure in this noisy French music," said the 
Doctor. " But, if the scenes played on 
the stage occasion some indifference, one 
is amply indemnified," added he, with an 
expressive smile, " by those that take place 
behind the curtain." Holding out his hand 
to me at these words, he takes a stride over 
the three seats that were between the box 
door and us, and drew me along to the green- 
room. It was not long before I was con- 



28 A FortnigMs Ramble. 

vinced of the esteem which the actresses 
had for him, and of the judicious and na ' 
iural partiality this dancing- swarm have for 
young Englishmen who are on their first 
visit in France. 

Miss ***, Miss ***, Miss ***, had at 
that moment ended a pas de trois ; they per- 
ceived my guide on their entrance, whose 
long figure exceeded two feet over the heads 
of a crowd of rakes of quality, who w^ere 
busy in lavishing gold and flattery on those 
divinities. I was along side of him; the 
fulness of my cravat, the length of the 
skirts of my coat, and a certain awkward- 
ness which we cannot divest ourselves oC 
for a year after leaving Oxford or Camr 
bridge, or at least a six months' residence at 
Paris, bespoke altogether the country of my 
birth. Too ignorant then how to observe 
and estimate the Doctor's winks, which, 
ever comprehensive to his artful associates, 
I was readily ensnared to fall a victim to 
their stratagems. The gilded train of mar- 
quisses were soon left to their grief, and my 
lord surrounded and ogled without mercy. 
Meanwhile, and unknown to me, the Doc- 
tor was getting ready an agreeable sup- 
per, and the more so, to surprise nae with the 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 29 

Unexpected presence of two of the prettiest 
nymphs of the company, who with killing 
looks had uttered to me a few words of brok- 
en English. In order the more cunning^- 
ly to conceal the master piece of design 
he intended to unfold, he hastened to hurry 
me away from this enchanted place, by 
saying-, it was time that we should be at 
the Baron ***'s. 

We came to the door of his hotel in 
an instant, where the Doctor traversed 
the whole house with the same ease and 
freedom as if he had stept into his own. Af- 
ter having- gone through many rooms full 
of men with varied liveries^ he descried 
from the door of the first parlour, the Baron 
coming to welcome us. He was a man of 
a grave and phlegmatic countenance, whose 
strong and stuffed head bore an air of sys- 
tem, even in his bows and reception. His 
loud and heavy voice came out with slow- 
ness, followed by a hard and equal sound 
excessively important, even in the expres- 
sive complaisance of a good morrow. 

J was led into a drawing-room by the Ba- 
ron, where, in the midst of the confused 
noise of a great assembly, and the incum- 
brance of a number of card tables, 1 was pre- 
c 2 



30 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

sented to the Baroness. The figure and ordU 
nary countenance of this lady was in ever\ 
respect the true counterpart of her husband. 
Hardly did she give herself time to return 
my first compliments, but hastily spreading 
a pack of cards, urged me to draw one, in 
order to sit down to a rubber of whist, that 
seemed by a decree of fate to await me. 
I never went into a house where there was 
so little of the usual chit-chat, and where 
one was so suddenly placed between kings 
of spades and diamonds. I submitted to 
custom, and began a tedious party with 
three strangers, an old maid, whose constant 
talk showed her designs ; an abbot, whose 
covetous looks, and application to play, 
.seemed to excel that of his breviary ; and 
an old military officer, on whom age had not 
imprinted in his features any traits of good 
nature, so much was his affected simplicity 
betrayed by his decayed manner and trick- 
ing. My mind was not at all at play. To 
the great grief of the antiquated beauty who 
sat opposite, and against my will, I threw 
a glance on every part of the room, and on 
the different characters who filled it. It 
was the most strange compound I had 
«ver witnessed. I was not then so able to 
judge of the same, as when better acquainted 



, A FortniyMs Rmnhie. 31 

with the persons, and I had by a sad expe- 
rience ascertained the exactness of a Packet 
Boat's denonaination a merry fellow had 
given to that hotel. In the first instance, 
all that I saw of the chief employment of 
the house, was as much of politics as of 
gambling- ; for here and there were scatter- 
ed about a great variety of English pam- 
phlets and newspapers. The feathered hag, 
at least fifty years of age, and unfortunately 
my partner, was nevertheless incensed on 
account of my inattention to the game: for 
at times she would heave such a sigh, as if 
her whole soul was ready to vanish with it, 
or a shriek as sharp as a Cheapside market 
woman, when a lift was lost, for want of at- 
tention on my part — inwardly laughing 
whilst begging her most humble pardon. 
At length we were freed for a few Louis 
d'ors, and a swoon that suspended all the 
colour of her face for somfe minutes. 

While the company were preparing to 
withdraw, the master of the house desired 
to know if there was any gentleman com- 
plaisant enough to accompany Miss *** to 
her convent : this Vt'as my afflicted partner. 
The courteous Doctor, who had already 
taken the management of all that belonged 
to me, thought fit to dispose likewise of my 



S2 A Fortnight's Ramhle. 

person and coach. I could not withstand 
the superior sway he made use of. I pre- 
sented my hand to the old lady with as 
much ill grace as possible, and we left the 
room together. 

I percieved my complaisance had appeas- 
ed her, and her chagrin at my mistakes 
whilst at play, began to vanish from her 
mind. I discovered on the way from the 
hotel *** to the monastery, her excessive 
kindness, with the easy good grace thereof, 
led me to overlook the enormity of her pre- 
tensions : and at our adieu, I obtained leave 
to visit her on social terms. It was no small 
indulgence, considering I had not the trou- 
ble of requesting this favour, and in the mean- 
time observed how' yielding were the man.- 
ners of beauties at her advanced time of life. 

Hardly were we in the carriage, when the 
Doctor with warmth cried aloud to the coach- 
man to go into Richelieu-street : he accord- 
ingly whipped the horses, and on we flew. 

Then, said my companion, with a squeeze 
of the hand, " my dear friend, I have de- 
termined you should be fully revenged 
for all the disgust you must no doubt have 
felt this evening, by enjoying one of the 
prettiest suppers in Paris : for a person like 
you must divide his way of living between 



A FortniyMs Ramble. 33 

serious and amusing- companies ; young 
and gay, with fine faces, and good sense : 
to pass through six months of such a life 
will leave far behind you the Marquis D***, 
and M***, two of the most accomplished 
noblemen in France; no doubt it will be 
most honourable to England." " My dear 
Doctor, truly, you are the most complaisant 
and the best of men. Happy is the stran- 
ger who can meet with such a friend. How 
©bliging !" 

" Oh ! my lord," hastily replied the Doc- 
tor, " this flows from the easiness of my 
temper, and draws me into a share of all 
the pleasures which I procure for my coun- 
trymen, without my incurring any expense, 
but quite on the contrary" — " It is," said I 
to him, " a proof of the goodness of your 
heart." My mind having no improper in- 
clination, was then too much occupied to 
apply the strict and literal sense which, the 
Doctor's last expression so obviously im- 
plied. My coach stopped, we ahghted. 
The Doctor went first through a narrow 
and very dark stair-way ; and arrived at the 
first story, to a pretty neat and well lighted 
parlour. Two well dressed servants with- 
out livery were in waiting : one of them re- 



34 A FortnigMs Ramhle. 

quested my name, when the Doctor replying^ 
on a sudden, large folding doors were 
thrown open* My eyes were struck with a 
most voluptuous and uncommon scene, 
known but at Paris, especially in similar re- 
sorts, where every means are employed that 
can fascinate the senses. The whole com-^ 
pany consisted of three fenaales ', who cheer- 
fully rose to receive my guide, at the same 
time showing me the most tender and offi- 
cious politeness. I recollected one of the 
ladies to be Miss **^, whose name I \vas 
told by the Doctor, when at the opera. 
The second was a friend; she called th6 
third one, her mama. It is true, she looked 
old enough to give her the title of a matron, 
and it very well answered the purpose. I 
observed that Miss ***, was the sullanesis 
who reigned in the palace. I also perceiv- 
ed a complete understanding to exist be- 
tween the Doctor and the Dowager, They 
spoke in whispers, all which time the old 
lady's eyes were obliquely surveying me* 
The ancient features of the old shrew* show- 
ed a most cunning and covetous counte- 
nance, which seemed to infuse into their 
conversation the greatest apparent testimo- 
ny of affection and friendship. Julia was 



A Fortnight's Ramble. Qa 

Miss ***'s oampanion ; was less pretty : 
among the chiefs of the opera, it is a policy 
to be thus coupled. Every, time a man of 
note, (and that is known by the repute of 
his purse,) is expected, and any design is in- 
tended, if he is to be accompanied by a Doc- 
tor, or someptherpersonof like description, 
there is always a lesser beauty to be found 
that may chance to be the partner of the 
procurer.——** Well ! My Lord," said *** 
to me with a confidential and wanton 
look, " how do you fancy Paris ? Do you 
think our ladies appear as pretty as youp 
English beauties ? Surely you must have 
lost your heart by this time. So amiable 
and young a lord as you are, cannot long 
remain inattentive to female charms." To 
this sweet compliment, I made n6 other an- 
swer than: " Oh! not at all. Madam ;" 
which reply, in its pronunciation, must, to a 
French ear, have been both comical and 
unintelligible, accompanied with a stupid 
silliness, by playing the game of fingers on 
my hat, and holding myself as stift* as a 
Stick : my borrowed and silly looks would 
Jiave produced unfavourable impressions on 
the minds of persons of any other profession | 
but the knowing ones of the opera have a 



36 A ForlniyMs Ramble. 

pleasure in removing- our bashfulness, and 
make us pay tbem well for their time and 
kindness. Miss *^*, in the same manner 
asked me more than fifty alluring questions ; 
which I answered with the artless repetition 
of my three monosyllables. I however ap- 
peared in their eyes a charming fellow, and 
halving a physiognomy that bespoke a great 
deal of wit. There was a time, when I 
sought to be praised for the many fine things 
which I thought I often uttered. In this 
delirium, I should have pocketed their 
praises and flattery, like the Doctpr's idle 
tales. 

The artful beauty who had undertaken 
my introduction, turning towards the Doc* 
tor with an amorous look^ said with a sigh : 
" My lord is very amiable, but he seems to 
be very indifferent : Ah ! no doubt he 
knows the beautiful du T*^'*, Avho is the 
belle of the day ; no other charms but hers 
are worthy attention." " 1 do not believe 
that my lord has the least idea of her," re- 
plied the Doctor ; " besides, he is too dis- 
cerning not to let justice give the palm to 
you." As this part of the conversation had 
in some way escaped me, and as my staring 
indiqated a wish to know their meanin^^ 



A FortnigMs Rumhk. 37 

tiie Doctor liastened to give me its transla- 
tion. ** I confess, and without flattery, there 
js a great deal of difference," added he, 
^* Miss D**^ is admilted to be one of the 
Sliest creatures in Paris, and one altogether 
free of those sentiments which too often dis- 
grace beauty." Eyed by Miss ***, " jMy 
lord," said she to me, with liveliness, and 
giving me gentle strokes on the fingers with 
her fan, " do speak French.*' I requested 
my interpreter to express my sorrow for not 
enjoying the facihty of discoursing with her, 
bat at least, I knew enough of the French 
tongue not to let any of her lovely witti- 
cisms escape unnoticed. In return for this 
compliment, I received a great many otherso 
^* Well !" continued she, with sprightliness, 
'' teach me the English, and I will teach 
you the French." " With all my heart,'" 
answered I. Meanwhile, her glances vi- 
brated through every nerve, and fired my 
yery soul. 

A man far better clothed than the ser- 
vants, waiting in the parlour, whom I hav« 
since known to be at least the supposed fa- 
ther of Miss***, came to inform us, that sup- 
per was ready. *' Come, my lord," said this 
siymph, " give me your hand, and we will 



38 A FortiiighCs Ramhk. 

be sealed tog-ether." — " Daug-liler, daiigli- 
ter," cried the matron, " it is not pfelty to 
be so forward with gentlemen !" " Mama," 
replied the other, with a frolicsome counte- 
nance, " this is my Eng-lish master." — We 
however instantly found ourselves in the 
hall. A table elegantly decorated, and 
iig-hted by twelve wax candles, supported 
by a chandelier which rose from the fouF 
angles of a sumptuous surtcut*. My scho- 
lar, who had placed me so near to her, that 
I felt somewhat embarrassed and ashamed, 
like a novice as I was, sat carelessly in an 
arm chair that took part of the fire. On the 
opposite side was the mama, and between 
Jier and the minor goddess the Doctor was 
placed. They eagerly helped me with de- 
licate morceaus, and by example forced me 
to drink sparkling wines. To a well sup- 
plied course, another succeeded no less 
savoury and delicious. The last was height- 
ened by an abundance of champain. Punch 
was circulated, in order to perfect the work, 
by pleasing me ; and as the pretty hand of 
the hostess squeezed the lemons, I could in 



■ * A silver plale put on a large latlc, on vlilch ai-e placed 
flowers and fi'uil vases. 



A Fortnight's llamhle. S9 

iio way refuse the libation. Every instant 
gave a more lively and animated turn to the 
conversation. One may easily fancy liow 
Mttle J was able to lake a share in it ; how- 
over I paid the expenses. The nymph per- 
ceiving that my senses were beginning to 
be affected, let out her pretty voice, and 
sang a tender air in a superior taste to her 
singing at the opera. 

Towards half after one in the morning, 
rising from table, after some merry jokes 
added to the pretty things said whilst at sup- 
per, a vingl-un was proposed by the mama. 
I was ignorant of the game. " Well ! my 
lord," said my pretty bewitched to me, 
*^ we will be in partnership ;" and taking 
me by the arm, led me to a green covered 
table that stood off at a few paces. They 
rang for cards ; ever^^ one took a seat ; I 
pulled out ray purse that contained about 
eighty louis d'ors. The deal was fortliwith 
given to me, and with my fluttering neigh- 
bour, who most dexterously left me the care 
of the advance money, I took charge of the 
bank. — If, whilst at the Baron's, I had had 
many causes of distraction, snrely I had 
more here ; for the feet, the eyes, and the 
iittle strokes on the knees above and imder 



40 A FortniyMs R&mbk^ 

the table j the whale had a tendency to in- 
crease them. Deprived of part of my rea- 
son by the champain wine; even if my 
senses had been left entire, they would have 
been taken from me by such dangerous con- 
tacts. Therefore before the end of my bank, 
my eighty louis d*ors disappeared. In spite 
of my giddiness, I perceived my young 
partner's cunning and discreet mama had 
the three fourths of the gain on her side i 
and that the dear Doctor and the complai- 
sant friend had the other fourth. My part- 
ner complained but indifferently of her loss; 
in order to make up a new fund, she feigned 
pulling out some money from her pocketo 
But a change of clothes was a pretext for 
not having her purse on the toilet. I'o 
avoid the trouble of rising up, the Doctor, 
Ihe politest of men, handed me a roll of fif- 
ty louis. My nymph, offended at the in- 
flexibility of fate, as if let loose against my 
hand, wished in her turn to deal the cards : 
which was with infinite less luck than I had. 
Her mama, my lady, had an incredible 
good share of fortune; nothing withstood 
it, and in two deals the Doctor's roll fol- 
lowed the course of my gold. They had 
the kindnessj howeverj to postpone the 



A I'Mki^hts liamhle. 47 

chance of revenge for us to another day, 
and agreed that that night my fair partner 
and myself were in a train of ill luck. Dur- 
ing the time of play, my fair Miss displayed 
a gold snuft-bqx of beautiful workmanship* 
sportingly playing with it. I expressed my 
admiration; and most ardently examined 
its beauties. It was given into my hands^ 
After having noticed its taste, workman- 
ship, and polish, I offered to return it: but 
my charming hostess would not consent* 
i\ly insisting, created a sham display of ill 
humour. Delighted at such a generous and 
o])liging attention, I was about mentioning 
to the Doctor that I at least would wish to 
make an equivalent exchange with her. 
The fair one, not less cunning than liberal, 
perceived at the same instant, a most beau- 
tiful diamond ring on my fingei-, which she 
gazed at with great avidity ; and whilst ca- 
j'essing my hand, I do not know how it 
happened, but it slipped naturally fi'om my 
finger, and found its way to heis. "Well!'* 
said she, with a childish simplicity, " If my 
lord does not wish to accept of my snuff- 
box, I will take his ring in exchange." It 
did not beconje the dignity of a peer of 
England to pay attention to the enormous 

D 2 



42 A ForinigMs UamUe^ 

difference of value of those two jewels j be*. 
sides, the finger appeared so pretty, that in 
my moment of intoxication^ a ring worth 
Hfteen hundred guineas was not too precious 
to adorn it. No doubt such an extraordina- 
ry liberality heightened the brightness of 
the qualities it was found I possessed. Ani- 
mated eyes showed me but love and plea- 
sure: with a severe look and harsh voice, 
the prudent mama took that moment to de- 
clare, that it was high time to close the 
scene. " Come, girls," said she, " come, 
it is late : to-morrow we have a rehearsal at 
eleven o'clock, and we must now with- 
draw r" Familiar intimacy thus establish- 
ed, 1 obtained leave to bid her fare- 
well most expressively, with an English 
kiss. Partly supported by my people, and 
partly by my legs, after forming an infinite 
number of curved lines, I reached my 
€oaeh, and returned to my apartments for 
rest, intoxicated with wine, and pleased 
with my night's adventure, and escorted by 
the faithful Doctor, to whom I returned the 
roll of fifty louis wasted away at Miss ****&, 
before our morning's separation, 

1 have heard that love sometimes takes 
away sleep ; surely it is not that lov« which 



A Fortnif/ht*s Jiamhie. 43 

is acquired in green-rooms : with the help 
of fine sparkling champain, one forgets in the 
arms of Morpheus the losses and follies that 
have occurred on a preceding day. There- 
fore, I did not in the least think either of the 
money lost or of my diamond ring. But J. 
saw in the whole day's excursion the pur- 
chase of a valuable gold box, and the hap- 
py omen of the nymph's yielding kindness. 
The loss of the whole contents of my pocket 
book would have caused no greater sensa- 
tion. When we silly Englishmen arrive at 
Paris, it is said that we are inexhaustible in 
the means of extravagance, and we have the 
simplicity to believe it. Finally, being in- 
ebriated, I dropt asleep, not havmg one dis- 
tant thought ; but as far as I can recoiled, 
my dreams were delightfuk 



( 44 ) 



SECOND DAY 



Decisive issuc^ 

Thus ended the first day of my stay 
in Paris. The j)articulars, as I have staled 
them, will show the Doctor's character in its 
true light and principles. Men in their early 
youth, (at least three fourths of them,) depend 
on those whom they have had the good or 
ill fortune to associate with. I am a proof, 
though I may in some manner be comfort- 
ed, by observing ihe great number of dupes 
that have been made by this man long be- 
fore my acquaintance with him, and which 
he continues to increase every day ; yet I 
am most ashamed in receding on my being- 
duped by one whom 1 have afterwards 
known to be a trifling and knavish charac- 
ter, from his many doubtful actions, in which 
he has succeeded in cheating me during 
fifteen days. Though it may be painful to 
iny feelings, yet, for the instruction of young 



A Fortnight^ s Ramble. 45 

travellers who may hereafter make Paris 
their residence, I will continue the narra- 
tive. 

I layecl down at four o'clock in the morn- 
ing-. Hardly had I opened my eyes, late 
in the day, when the worthy Doctor ap- 
peared at my bed-side. " Well, my lord," 
said he, " how have you slept last night? 
have you been entertained with agreeable 
dreams ?" — " I had at least good cause for 
it."— «'Tis very well," replied he; "but 
pleasures are only made to take up the latter 
part of the day. I have, in order to vary 
them, taken care that you should have some 
serious employment this morning. The 
Abbot French will give you the first lesson 
in the French language, and, an hour af- 
terwards, the Sieur Gardel will display to 
you the elements of the science that sets off 
nature so well in this country, and, when 
blended with it, gives birth to those graces 
which are unknown to all other nations. 
You need but little study to possess them 
all, my dear lord." So much friendship 
perplexed me ; I thanked the obliging and 
incomparable Doctor, and hastened to get 
up in order to breakfast with my worthy 
counsellor. 



46 A Forlnif/Jit's llamhle. 

Scarcely had we finished our repast, v/hert 
in came my masters, and proceeded to make 
my first experiment in the French languap^e 
and dancing. The two Virtuosos who 
were bnsy in instructing rae, seemed to be 
attached to the Phoenix tribe; one by his 
charming poUteness and his pretty lisping ; 
the other by his inimitable graces. After 
spending a few hours in dressing, and hav- 
ing put on a rich embroidered coat the dear 
Doctor's taylor had brought, with five or 
six others made in the newest taste, I had a 
wish to sliow myself at the royal palace, 
where I did not know that speaking admi- 
rers had been stationed by the provident 
Doctor. 

At least a dozen of persons, whom I had 
seen the day before at the Baron's, were pa- 
I'aded in different groups along the great al- 
ley. Scarcely had three minutes elapsed be- 
fore 1 was addressed l)y them. The first who 
came forward was the old military officer 
and the abbot who had won a few Louis 
from me at whist. One of Ihem, more than 
eighty years of age, seemed however to en- 
joy good health ; the more so on account of 
his mind being more even and reflective. 
He told me he was called Colonel Cuming ^ 



A Forbiifjht's Ramble. 47 

bis expressions were friendly but lasciviouj:. 
He was well acquainted witji the rank and 
titles of all our travellers, and declared him- 
self the avowed kinsman of ]\I. Grenville, 
the king our master's late minister. He 
had but just began these particulars, when 
a short little man joined us. His fresh and 
red face, his thick lacings, his jewels, the 
whole taken together, made me believe he 
was a clerk grown big with rhino, when I 
understood by the Colonel he was the Count 
*** . jjjs name J . I had ne^er been ac- 
companied with so stately a name. I have 
learned since that he was truly the nephew 
of a rich and covetous banker, who had, 
when dying, deprived all his other kindred, 
in order to give this one the whole of his 
estate. Our heir had made but a leap from 
the recess of a counting house of llouen, to 
the dignity of an Earl of the empire. With 
the help of a language as thick as himself, 
Mr. the Count gracuaily made me a com- 
pliment, and introduced me to a thin flank- 
ed and sickly young man, whom he called 
the Count of Wrongdeal, his brother-in-law: 
This name appeared to me as oddly cou- 
pled with a tiile as the other. These usur- 
pations, as foolish as they are unbecoming. 



48 A ForlnigMs Ramble. 

I should have thought to be a family dis- 
ease ; but here Counts are in plenty, and 
people only laugh at the titles. 

The Abbot D did not utter a word 

during* the whole time of our walk m the 
alley : which induced me to believe he ne- 
ver opened his mouth but to make known 
club, diamond, or trumps. I have since 
been strengthened in my opinion : to this 
hint of mine, it was added that in spite of 
his whelp's face, he held handsome sine- 
cures for services rendered to a Prelate. 

If Counts are trod upon in Paris, people 
are here instantly elbowed by abbots. The 
hallowed garb that ought to distinguish 
priesthood, is here only a common disguise, 
which helps to cloak a multitude of cowards 
and intriguers. The company was sooivip- 
creased by a weak middle sized well dnife- 
ed man, who was powdered and curled with 
the most minute exactness, and wore a pur- 
ple laced coat. His visage wOuld have 
been taken for that of a satyr, if its weak- 
ness and languishing state had not allayed 
his impudence. He was called the Abbot 
L***" ; he showed me the greatest attention 
and a wish for acquamtance. But I per- 
ceived he viewed the Doctor, whom I held 



A Fortnight's Rambk. 4S> 

then by the arm, with great displeasure. 
The whole of his features were distorted 
by envy and grief. I was far from judg- 
ing that I was the cause of these jealous 
sentiments. I did not at the time know that 
they were rivals, and that their interests 
sometimes clashed in the same trade. It is 
necessary to acquaint the reader, that their 
studies were not on the subject of theology 
or physic. 

The conversation was soon set afloat res- 
pecting the pretty inhabitants of the sur- 
rounding garden. In emulation of one an- 
other, the Abbot L*** and the Doctor spoke 
of them with equal sagacity. It was not 
possible to give a fuller account of these 
ladies' meetings than the one they related. 
Wi*h a complaisant smile, which left no room 
to ^less the agreeable remembrances he 
might then fancj'^, the old military officei* 
was attentively listening to them. The big- 
Count and his brother-in-law, though quiz- 
zing most unmercifully the two narrators; yet 
it did not hinder them from going on. The 

AbbotD , with a serious countenance and 

staring eyes, seemed to be absorbed in pro- 
found meditation upon a throw at picquet. 
As respects myself, I was foolish enough to. 



50 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

pay the greatest attention to all their noii- 
sense. However, it was time to quit walk- 
ing*. After having earnestly promised the 
Count to call on him, I went with the faith- 
ful Achates and the old Colonel, whom 1 
invited to dine with me. 

One of my servants coming in, handed 
me, with care, a very small and highly 
scented letter, that had been brought in 
haste when I was absent. I opened it ; and 
found it to be written in French ; but the 
letters so ill shaped, and the orthography so 
oddly styled, for a person who knew so lit- 
tle of the language, I could no more tell 
ivhat it meant than the conjuring book. I 
was obliged to request the Doctor's aid ; 
who, after a quarter of an hour*s study, was 
enabled to decypher what follows : 

" Do you know you are very wicked, my 
little lord ? The whole night I could not 
close my eyes on your account: Mama, 
who has scolded me, says I am a fool. It 
■will grieve me much if you do not attend 
to the Italian play this evening. Having 
many things to tell you ; I expect you will 
come to my house by nine. The pretty lit- 
tle ring you put yesterday on my finger has 
made him very talkative. He whispered to 



A Fortnight's Ramble. ol 

^sny ear, that you had made lately a pretty 
^weet-heart. This news grieved me much» 
However, my little lord, if you come this 
evening, it will be a proof it was altogether 
a story : I shall be comforted, and another 
time 1 will not believe him." 

Self-pride induced me to think this love 
letter contained, with simplicity, the most 
delicate and admirable sense. " Oh !" cried 
the Doctor aloud, " that girl has an angel's 

wit : D me, if she is not the prettiest 

child in Paris. Well? my lord, having no- 
thing better to do, you must give her that 
trifling satisfaction. We w^ill go this eve- 
ning and spend an hour." These words 
were uttered in a low voice, as we came 
near the Colonel ; who, having found in 
my room a back-gammon table, expressed 
his wish to play a game whilst dinner was 
getting ready. I accepted his terms, and 
played for twelve louis d'ors : I won the 
first, and lost the two games following. 
The fourth was put off on account of our 
being summoned to dinner. 

Through my Majordomo's diligence and 
vigilance, I was far better waited upon than 
usual ; every thing was delicious ; Burgundy 
w^ incessantly poured out. My old guest ate 



52 A Fortnight's Rambk. 

and drank with the same sang' froid he nscd 
to display at whist, or at back-gamman, and 
in fact in all occupations in which I have 
seen him engaged. 1 have since experienc- 
ed how cunning and dexterous he was, and 
his subtilty in subduing to his purposes those 
around him, by a quiet, discreet, and digni- 
fied civility becoming his age. As his dul- 
ness did not exclude joy, we dined cheer- 
fully ; and our digestion was performed 
at the back-gammon table, which cost me 
only fifty louis. 

The Doctor being attentively provident, 
had ordered the coach to be ready to take 
an airing on the Boulvard, before the ris- 
ing of the curtain at the Italian opera 
house, where it was not fashionable to visit 
till after the first act. It seemed that the 
Doctor had resolved to let all his sick die, 
rather than to lose a moment unemployed 
for my pleasure. I therefore felt the most 
lively sense of gratitude for his attention in 
promoting my desires, for which his mo- 
tives were very artfully concealed. The 
Abbot L*** was a man against whom it 
was necessary at all times to be guarded 
with the utmost diligence. As it was, I 
resolved to make the Doctor amends for the 



A FortnlgMs Ramble. 53 

sacrifice of all the fees he could have lost 
in his profession, by his personal attendance 
on me. 

All the debauchees and frivolous beings, 
who are found in crowds in this large city, 
are in the habit of meeting on the Boulvard : 
there, in the season in which we were at 
Paris, their sole business is to make a show 
of a new coat, or a coach just from the 
hands of an unfortunate mechanic, who 
vainly runs for payment, whilst it oftentimes 
splashes him, and sometimes crushes him to 
pieces. There generally moves, with short 
steps, on the space of half an English mile, 
a file of carriages through a whirlwind of 
dust, where oftentimes one is cumbered and 
run full-tilt one against another, in spite of 
the slowness of the movement, and the ef- 
forts of a company of foot guards to set them 
in order. The ostentatious, who are dragged 
along, ai*e busy looking at one another; im- 
pudent looks even put out of countenance 
women sitting in the remotest corner of a 
berlin. It is true, few such carriages are 
seen elsewhere: the women wiJio come to 
display themselves, for the most part, take no 
offence at this gazing ; on the contrary, they 
give in return the most daring glances, with 

i; 2 



64 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

assurance and triumphant air, which re- 
veals the vain show and the haughtiness 
with which prostitution and dishonour keeps 
an equal pace, by being boldly countenanc- 
ed in the midst of the signal spoils of liber- 
tinism and folly. The silly victims of these 
unfeeling and impudent Syrens, oftentime 
gather in crowds and worship them in their 
chariots, and without shame, before a peo- 
ple exasperated with so much meanness and 
cheating. I saw one in particular, in a 
magnificent carriage shining with gold, 
and beautiful varnish; six fine English 
horses, decorated with feathers, gold, and 
silk, conveyed her in state; a rich and 
imposing livery took up the front and 
rear. An infinite number of people were 
on that day hastening to the Boulvard. 
The moment her triumphal chariot made 
its appearance from a street that leads to it, 
a prodigious concourse of people, who had 
taken up the foot paths, ran with swiftness to 
the side on which she was coming; one 
would have imagined, by the display of so 
much eagerness, that a bountiful and belov- 
ed Queen was coming to display herself to 
the homage of a delighted people. I 
thought so ; but was informed by my guide 



A Fortnights Ramble. 65 

that it was the famous ***. f The motive 
and eagerness that had misled me, was soon 
known by the uproar that took place. The 
insulting vain show of a Miss, which came to 
display in the midst of the people, raised an 
odious image on every mind. The superb 
carriage was soon surrounded by the mul- 
titude; who in a rage, and with threats, 
blended the most bitter and grievous ex- 
pressions of derision and contempt. It grew 
into a violent passion ; the instant was draw- 
ing near wherein the golden car was to be 
broken into pieces : the guard happily came 
up, and with difficulty extricated the speech- 
less beauty, who had hardly the satisfaction 
to run over live or six fathoms of the list, 
where she expected to dazzle a more friend- 
ly people until dusk. 

At the mention of this mortifying event, 
buzzed around me by more than five hun- 
dred voices, pale and sad, did I behold in 
their coaches all the rakes of quality, full 
of indignation and grief; some of them 
complained sadly, others with violence 
railed agamst the downfall of good breed- 
ing and fine fashions. They called a crowd 
of artists and mechanics, who dared to 

t Duthe. 



56 A Forinic/ht's Ramhle* 

grumble that they did not pay them in con- 
sequence of their lavishing- their all on such 
creatures, a set of upstarts and rogues. 
They even went so far as to involve in their 
curses the public order, which did not im- 
prison forty thousand honest citizens, for hav- 
ing so far forgot themselves, as respect the 
laws of gallantry and the humble respect 
due to a lady of pleasure. 

My thoughts were then very different 
from what they are at this day. I felt a 
compassion more for the disgrace which 
the opera girl had received, than to the just 
motives of the ill-will of so many unfortu- 
nates, and as strongly gave my opinion to 
those gentlemen. More exasperated than 
any of them, I left this place of French 
rudeness, and ordered my chariot to haste 
to the Italian play-house, at the hazard of 
breaking the arms and legs of a miserable 
infantry, who had the greatest trouble to 
€!scape to the right and left, notwithstanding 
the hoarse cry of stand out of the way roar- 
ed by my coachman. 

In coming in, I surveyed all the corners 
of the room, in order to find out Miss ***. 
f could no where see her : during more 
than a quarter of an hour, sensibly length- 



-^1 Foriniyht^s Ramble. 67 

ented ten fold, I was kept alive with the 
greatest impatience. 

At length the noise made at the opening 
of a small box facing the amphitheatre, 
drew my attention to that side; where I 
descried a vast forest of feathers, appearing 
to be on a head stooping through a door, to 
avoid the disturbance of her delicate plumes, 
by which movement I did not recognize the 
features of her face : but when she was seat- 
ed, with the precaution of leaving a suffi- 
cient space between her towering height of 
feathers and the ceiling of the box, I soon 
discovered my fair conquest. A stream of 
costly diamonds flowed round her neck; 
two large branches loaded her ears, more 
than they adorned them ; a chain of bea- 
zles was festooned from the right to the 
left breast. 

As the beauties' scandalous gallantry pro- 
claim the rate of their extravagancies, so 
they expect the more attention will be at- 
traded to them. So much splendour daz- 
zled and alarmed me. " What a profusion 
of diamonds," said I with some agitation, to 
the Doctor, " which to me is inconceiva~ 
ble." "A Russian," he answered, " has the 
honour of all that show which surprises you 



68 A Fortnight's liamble. 

so much — would you believe it, that they 
only cost but a few hours' complaisance from 
that beauty to his weakness ? To tell you 
the truth, for her to act towards you as she 
does, you must have pleased her strangely. 
Be assured that it is no small recommenda- 
tion of your address, in having gained the 
partiality of a pierson whose favours have 
been vainly courted by suitors of the first 
rank in Pai'is ; besides, I am confident that 
she is uninfluenced by interest." This flat- 
tering description tickled my ear, and fixed 
my resolution to act in conformity to the 
wishes of my Mentor. " You are however 
apprised," continued he with reflection, 
'* that a woman so much aduiired for her 
beauty, has a certain dignity to support*, 
she lives in a very superb style of extrava- 
gance and show. Such is the fashion, my 
dear lord, that awaits you ; and for your en- 
joyment thereof you will have to contri- 
bute liberally to this goddess of love, whose 
affections you have so remarkably won ; 
your gratitude will, however, excite your 
remuneration for the sacrifices she makes 
in bestowing her affections on your honour." 
The Doctor, by his harangue, had infalli- 
bly read by my looks, that his fish was 



A Fortnight's Ramble,, 59 

caught in the net. He left me on a sudden : 
and I soon discovered him in conversation 
"with Miss ^**, on the opposite part of the 
house ; no doubt he greeted her with con- 
gratulation on the victory she had effected 
over my heart. In about ten minutes after, 
he joined me with a studied look of satisfac- 
tion and pleasure : " you are," said he, *' the 
most fortunate of beings ; the only fear which 
that poor child has, is the reflection that you 
should not answer her love. But I persuaded 
her, from my conjectures in the matter, that 
she would notbe deceived, either in your good 
taste or tender sensibility. This good news 
raised her spirit to the sky : for she is truly 
the most grateful, sweet girl, I ever met with. 
Look at this charming jewel, it is a costly 
specimen of art, and was presented to me 
by her fair hand, as a precious remembrance 
of this, the happiest day of her life. Oh ! 
my lord that girl has life to the very ut- 
termost end of her fingers." Every syllable 
uttered by the Doctor, only increased the dis- 
order of my senses. He attentively watched 
me. I was not conscious when the play was 
over. Had it not been for the glances which 
beamed from the opposite box, in order to 



60 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

allay my amorous pain, I was afraid that I 
should have interrupted the actors from the 
violence of my sighs, A pleasant thing in- 
deed — an Oxford scholar swallowing in 
greedy draughts the venom of mercenary 
love from the beauties of an Opera-house ! 
With an eagerness and simplicity that vie in 
their excess, is he gulled. This was, in fact, 
my situation. The vanity arising from my 
title, the wealth contained in my pocket 
book, my people, the doctor's subordinate 
Jooks^ — all, even to my new coat, and the ele- 
gant display which Mr. Tuft had given to 
my hair, gave a ferment to my brain. Of 
the many fools who have ever crossed the 
channel to Calais, without the exception 

even of lord E • T , I was surely the 

most extravagant of them all. At last the 
curtain dropped. 1 hastened swiftly to the 
gallery, and by the assistance of kicks, and 
thrusts with the elbow, given to a few of 
the by-standers, to whom I made some ri- 
diculous apologies as I was proceeding 
along, I reached the stair-case in time 
to present my hand to my adorable 
beauty. Unfortunately, the stair-case was 
steep and winding ; being disordered, 
my mind with joy did not perceive the skirt 



A JFortniff Ill's Ramble. 61 

^f her frock slipping under my feet, where- 
by we got entangled : at this instant some 
person pushing along, forced me to a som- 
merset over nine or ten steps. To increase 
my misfortune, love had so ri vetted Miss' 
hand to mine, that she was here pul- 
led along with me. In our fall, the disor- 
der of her clothes disclosed the charms of 
a Yenus to the laughing spectators. With 
blushing shame, attendant on such a catas- 
ti'ophe, we naturally rose up with confusion, 
in the midst of the most tumultuous noise of 
an inconsiderate assembly, and found 
much difficulty in reaching the door. No 
doubt, the anticipation of my liberalities, by 
my kind companion, must have been exces- 
sively sanguine, to <:ause her to overlook 
this act of folly : for, instead of charging me 
with the misfortune, she expressed the great- 
est uneasiness on my account. Many of 
her professing, kind friends, who viewed 
her with an equivocal and milicious look of 
pity, drew nigh, and impertinently inquir- 
ed : " Ah, my G — ! how did such an ac- 
cident happen, my dear? have you not hurt 
yourself ? you must have some Cologne w^a- 
ter," &c. &c. As for me, sillily taking out 
of my pocket an enormous roll of English 



6*2 A. ForlnigMs Ramhle^ 

court plaster, I presented it, trembling^. 
" Ah, my G-^ ! Mr. Englishman;* cried 
aloud a merry wag- of a fellow, " the forift 
of your plaster Madam only pots to her 
wound." Fortunately, the Paris Stento- 
rian's voice*, was heard, calling aloud for 
my lord's coacb. My companion disengag- 
ed herself from this emban'assed scene, and 
with cast down heads, we crossed the laugh- 
ing ranks, leaving the coach of Miss *** 
for the Doctor, to return with the little Ju- 
lia, who had accompanied her to the play. 

Sheltered in our case, and protected from 
the sarcasms which our fall had so profuse- 
ly drawn upon us, I was using all the rhe- 
toric in my power in order to dispose my 
beauty to forget the accident of the stair- 
case, with incredible efforts calling forth to 
my mind all the polite and lovely expres- 
sions which I could have picked up from 
Boyer's Dictionary, or from the first lesson 
which I had received from the Abbot F 
In a most pitiful manner, and in broken 
language still more perplexing to me, I 
made many foolish apologies. As my 
words seemed to be but little understood, I 

* Stentor, a Grecian, whose voice is reported to have been »» 
•trong and as loud as the voice of fifty men together. 



A ForlniijMs Ramble. 63 

pressed into ray service certain actions 
which I thought wotild more readily 
interpret my meaning*. The indulgence 
and kindness with which botb my sor- 
row and forwardness were welcomed, over- 
joyed me. We were ali-eaxly in Hiche- 
lien-street, and up in the room, where we 
remained tete-a-tete during a few minutes. 

The faint resistance that my -beauty op- 
posed to my amorous attempts had fired my 
passions, and I became presumptuous, when 
the matron entered the room : she affected 
«ome dissatisfaction at such a private con- 
versation, and roughly orderetl her daugh- 
ter to go and undress fierself ; who sorrow- 
fully looking at me, stepped out to obey her 
mama. 

Left alone with the discreet and prudent 
dowager, like a true scholar, 1 wished to 
quiet by promises the anger she strangely 
showed. Not being able to unwrinkle her 
old forehead, I was going to relinquish my 
love with as much grief as anger, when in 
stepped my great and prudent protector, 
the adorable Doctor. My dismayed look«, 
the mama's provoked silence, obliged him 
on a sudden to come to an explanation, by 
the questions he hastily put to her, on the 



64 A Fortnif/ht's Ramble. 

imexpected picture we presented to his 
eyes. 

" Doctor," said the old woman to him^ 
f'ndeavonring to compose herself a little, 
" my daughter is not in a situation to com- 
mit such folly ; I very well see that she has 
fallen in love with my lord ; it is my duty 
to protect her. What would a certain per- 
son who maintains us at the opera say, if 
he was to know any thing of her present at- 
tachment ? I may in some respect believe 
that my lord is a man too honest to deceive 
ns ; but that's of no avail : it is not suppos- 
ed we should readily enter into such tem- 
porary connexions; a woman belonging, un- 
liappily, to the stage, cannot follow her 
whims and inclinations without being cer- 
tain- In a word, Doctor, you are a 

man of good sense, and know the customs 
of the world — surely you will not blame me 
for my just fears." The wise Esculapius, 
without giving her an answer, repeated to 
me her words, which I could not at first 
understand the sense of, from the many in- 
terruptions that took place, and with the 
many comments, which determined me to 
offer, without any further delay, evident 
pledges of my constancy and sincerity, — 



A Fortnight's Ramble, 65 

Accordingly, I took from my pocket-book 
u one thousand louis d'ors bank note, and 
begging' pardon for my not speaking French, 
I handed the same to the unmerciful and 
cunning shrew. " Ho ! I beg your pardon, 
my lord, I perfectly understand you," an- 
swered she : " however, I expect you do not 
suspect me of any mean interest. It is so 
natural for a mother to secure her daugh- 
ter s interest! So much perfidiousness is 
seen every day ! besides you know very well 
one is not always young." With a shake of 
the head I approved 6i her rational rea- 
soning, " Finally," continued she with a 
fawning voice, " the finest youth cannot fall 
a sacrifice to a more worthy person than 
you. It is necessary I should warn you, that 
on that head, my daughter is nice, even so 
to ridicule. If she was to guess at the piece 
of gallantry you have this moment evinced, 
every thing would be lost. The poor child 
blushes at the least thing ; would you believe 
it, that in order to maintain ourselves as we 
do, I am under the necessity to conceal from 
her the many favours she receives ? 1 beg of 
you not to tell her a word about it." As 
homely as that snare was, it deceived my 
excessive credulity. Like a true simpleton, 

F 2 



66 A Fortnight's llamhk, 

I did not less admire the noble sentiments 
of the young" than the honesty of the old, 
and squeezing- her hand, my soul was far 
inore light than my pocket book. — 

In that instant came in Miss ***, and the 
little Julia ; soon after we were told to come 
and sit down at table. If, at the supper of the 
night before, joy and pleasure had rose by 
degrees to intoxication, they took, in this one, 
that character on a sudden. Hardly were 
we come to the middle of the dessert, when 
some one came to whisper to Miss Julia's 
ear, that she was eagerly e;xpected at home. 
She in a hurry rose up, and the courteous 
Doctor proffered to accompany her; which 
proposition was accepted. 

He delayed a long time to return. The 
mama, wearied with the preceding night's 
sitting up late, began to yawn in an arm 
chair. Soon after she snored with all her 
might. As her sleep appeared to be more 
determined and certain, we became more 
awake and sanguine. A sudden surprise, 
that opened at once both the ears and eyes 
of the duenna, diverted the sport. *' Ma- 
ma," said her daughter to her, and pushing 
her foot against hers, " go then and lay 
down ; you sleep standing : fye ! that's not 



A FortniyMs Ramble. 67 

pretty." " This instant, daughter," answer- 
ed she, her mouth wide open and her tongue 
embarrassed. Hardly had she uttered these 
words, when, letting- herself drop into her 
chair, she began to snore with more strength 
than before. *' Ho ! but, mama, that's in- 
tolerable ! are you not ashamed ?" said I\Iiss 
*** . \\xQn pushing her with her arm, "here, 
there is your wax-candlestrck." '* Come, 
come," replied the mother rising, and rub- 
bing her eyes ; and then with a yawn vio- 
lent enough to tear her jaw-bone to pieces 5 
" I do not know," said she, " what ails me to 
sleep thus to night : you will then, children, 
wait for the Doctor ; but behave wisely at 
least." Then, wishing me a friendly good 
night, she got to the door and withdrew. 
Now for it: " I believe it is for good," said 
Miss *^*. A¥e then renewed the conversa- 
tion with the same liveliness we had begun it. 
If my expressions were defective, and in no 
wise correct, my actions, as in the coach, 
made up for what my speech stood in need 
of. It may be an advantage in this case 
not to know a language. It has more than 
once shortened the work. However, in so 
pleasing a company, hours ran outMswiftiy^ 
and I was uneasy at what could have hap- 



68 A Fortnight's llamhle. 

pened to my companion. I rang* the bell : 
instead of one of the servants who used to 
answer, I saw a large waiting woman com- 
ing in, who merrily told me, " that the Doc- 
tor had declared he should not return, and 
he had even sent away my carriag"e." Then, 
turning herself towards her young mistress, 
with looks of surprise, added with a fearful 
and embarrassed voice : " does not my lord 
stay here ?" " Ah ! but I do not know," 
answered Miss, with emotion, and looking at 
me ; this will be as he may have a mind to 
do. But, mama" — "Ho! uds — budikins ! 
your mama," answered the waiting woman 
with an impudent air, " she is sound enough 
asleep now, not even to hear the thunders of 
heaven } and then to morrow it will be day." 
"Leave me, do; when she shall awake, 
the birds will be dislodged: what is done, 
let it remain so, you are a good friend 
enough not to make any bustle about it." 
**JHow she settles all that!" replied Miss 
***, endeavouring to bltish ; she squeezed 
my hand with so much warmth, I gave way 
to the demonstration of love as daring as 
amorous. ** Patience, patience," said the 
big chamber-maid, " I expect you will wait 
a while till I tell you the remainder. Come, 



-4 Forinight\ JRamhle. ^9 

Miss, come I will undress you." At these 
words she drew her along" with a loud inde- 
cent laugh, desiring me to quiet myself, and 
promising" she would soon come for rae to 
bid her a good night. 

Indeed she soon returned. ^ •* * ^■ 
*■ * ^ * * * ***** ^jt~ 



( -0 ) 



THIRD BAY. 



Morning's event. Dangerous and singtt* 
lar visit. Another kind of cheating. 

The rays of the sun, penetrating between 
the loose curtains to the alcove, falling on 
my eyes, I observed it was day : the length 
of it having been measured by the object of 
my love. Too cunning to exhaust all at 
once its effects, Miss *** hastened to ring 
the bell ; when in came the stout big waiting 
maid. Every thing that I might be in need 
of had been adjusted by her foresight. With 
her aid I arose ; and with the exception of 
some disorder of my hair, 1 was able to 
walk out in a morning dress, which they had 
furnished. In the meanwhile a loud rap 
was heard at the door ; which the woman 
ran to open. I saw her return with a length- 
ened face, and bringing in her hand a paper 
which she gave to her mistress j who, with a 
look not less frightened, gave a painful and 



A PorUiiiiMs Ramble, 7 J 

heavy sigh, upon reading' its contents : " Ah, 
my G — ! desire him to come in : but he must 
give me time to rise for his reception." In 
uttering these words, she rose up hastily, and 
quickly putting on her dishabille, she threw 
herself into an arm chair, wherein she remain- 
ed silent and gloomy. I told her if it was 
necessary, I would step out, and leave her at 
liberty. " No, by no means," said she, squeez- 
ing my band, and giving to her eyes a most 
bewitching expression of tenderness — "do 
remain- — 'tis nothing." Then a man, whose 
dress was indifferent, with cross, and surly 
looks, was forthwith introduced by the wait- 
ing woman. " Well ! Mr. Fragment," pee- 
vishly, said my goddess, " you are very 
troublesome and impertinent for a trifle; how 
can you plague me in this way ! Surely it 
is seizing upon an unlucky moment : what ! 
for that pitiful debt to disturb my rest." " I 
beg your pardon, madam," he answered, 
with a low and sarcastic bow, " it is past 
twelve o'clock, and I did not think that the 
hour would have been unseasonable."-— 
<* You must then be much pushed for mo- 
ney ?" — " 1 do not know, madam, what it is 
to be importunate ; but times, to be sure, are 
bad. I have been to every one of my debtors. 



72 A Fortnight^ $ Ramhle. 

in the neighbourhood ; I have called on 
twenty ladies before in my round, and could 
not collect a penny. Besides, you perfectly 
well know, madam, that your little account 
has over-run its time : I must confess I can- 
not go without it." " You will, however, Sir, 
wait a little longer to oblige me ;" " I am 
really very sorry, but I cannot ; and it is with 
grief I shall be led to vexatious means on 
your account." After an exchange of a few 
sharp expressions which enlarged their con- 
versation, the creditor withdrew with threat- 
ening. " Ah, my G — !" cried the fair one, 
after he went away, " if mama knew that I 
had incurred this debt it would be my ruin." 
Here her sorrow was relieved by a flow of 
tears. The waiting woman stood pale and 
ghastly, affectedly keeping pace with her 
lady's sadness. " Alas ! what is to be done, 
madam ? that accursed Fragment does not 
listen to reason no more than a Suisse." 
" Well ! run and give him my bracelets." 
The action that accompanied these words, 
led me to understand the state of affairs, 
and showed me that she had well played off 
the part of a cunning gypsey, and myself to 
be that of a dupe, which I had so well be- 
gan. However, it was not thus I qualified 



A Fortni(fMs Rmnhle. 73 

things with reflection in my delirium of love, 
I instantly took hold of the jewels, and takino; 
up the account which had been left on the 
toilette, I perceived a total amount of two 
Ihotisand French livers. With as much 
vi'armth as ostentation, I ordered the servant 
to run after the insolent creditor, as the sum 
was but a trifle : my command was eagerly 
obeyed, and perfomed by the nimble waiting- 
woman with still more speed. With the 
most extreme agitation of grief, the mistress 
had advanced a few paces towards the door, 
but too late to oppose her servant's embassy, 
and returning towards me, solemnly protest- 
ed she could not permit such an unworthiness 
as this, to cause her disinterested and pure 
tenderness to be suspected by permitting me 
to discharge the bill. I humbly entreat- 
ed; she grieved, dishevelled her hair and 
dress, in her apparent agony of wounded 
pride. At length the good Mr. Fragment 
returned, and was urged by the waiting- 
woman not to mind the scruples of her 
too nice mistress; and of course he did 
not wait long on account of her sorrow or 
my presence, but impatiently demanded pay- 
ment, and as soon as he was furnished with 
the greatest part of the gold whicli I had in 



74 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

my pocket, his joy and gratitude could not 
be apparently equalled. " You have pre- 
served," said he, " both my credit and for- 
tune." After a thousand humble and hypocri- 
tical curvets he withdrew ; for what seems 
to issue from one door, often times gets in 
again through another channel with these 
ladies. It will be seen, if I was not in the 
right to believe the fictions Mr. Fragment's 
being on the best terms with my woman; for 
he went and poured my money into the in- 
dustrious and cunning mama's chest. 1 was 
giving myself inexpressible trouble in order 
to comfort my nymph with the pleasure J 
had procured for her, and my declarations 
began to produce some effect, when Fanny 
oame in with our chocolate. ^* Good bless-^ 
ed Mary ! Miss," cried she, " surely, a pretty 
trifle to weep so much for. He who has 
plenty, should give to those who have but 
little ; this is the rule. My lord has done it 
with so good a grace, that one may easily 
know it cost him almost nothing : G — bless 
an Englishman ! he gives more readily one 
hundred pistoles, than other folks would 
part with as many compliments ; that's my 
sort." "Hold your peace, your babbler," 
said Miss ***, wiping her eyes ; her caress- 
ing temper took place of her deep melancho- 



A FortnigMs Ramble, 75 

iy, her sadness being dissipated, we socially 
breakfasted. The fair Miss began fully lo 
understand my French dialect. Our con- 
versation was by slow degrees led to every 
thing which could give interest to a pretty- 
woman ; dress, furniture, jewels, carriages, 
brisk horses, &.c. &c. The dear Doctor 
came in whilst we were conversing on these 
important subjects. The triumphant looks 
af his countenance seemed to be in unison 
with my feelings. His voice and expres- 
sions were assimilated to the morning's agree- 
able circumstances : finally our jokes ceased. 
When an interesting subject is spoken of by 
a girl like Miss =***, she does not readily 
drop it 3 therefore the matter was renewed as 
respects the coaches, and perfectly exhaust- 
ed. I will omit on that subject the Doctor's 
remarks. In order to acquaint you plainly 
^ilh the ingenious artifice with which they 
led me to eclipse the magnificent profuse- 

ness of lord E T , who had 

overloaded the goddess, who had been so 
grievously insulted, and forced away from 
the Boulevard the day before, and the splen- 
dour that had distinguished all our illustri- 
ous, on the Paris walk. 

I left Miss ^**j in company with the Doc- 
tor for a few hours. Puffed up with a ridicu- 



76 A Fortniyhl's Ramble. 

lous pride, or rather foolish ostentation, I 
readily went to realise the insinuations draWn 
from them. I wished to produce the plea- 
sure of an unexpected surprise, united to a 
claim of the highest prodigality. The secret 
was not known to my Esculapius, and 
through the diligence of my able and nim- 
ble provensal, with the help of my pocket- 
Ibook, six superb horses were sent to the 
coach-house of Miss *** ; together with a 
beautiful berlin in lieu of the pretty English 
flying coach, now of no further use. 

When M. Gardel came to give me a 
lesson, I was busy applauding myself for my 
complete victory over all rules of prudence. 

The Doctor appeared, and was ignorant 
of my magnificent stride of gallantry. The 
gigantic Esculapius and the stage player 
vied with each other in rapturous expres- 
sions of praise at my improving, growing 
graces. Finally, intoxicated with their en- 
thusiasm, 1 dressed myself magnificently, in 
order to make a sally out. We were to call 
at the Baron ***'s, on an invitation to dine 
with him. One of my attendants no sooner 
announced, than introduced, major Sag ; 
who was instantly famililar, though entirely 
unacquainted with me, and reported himselt" 
to be a coantrvman of mine, whose warm 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 77 

affections for me, induced the wish that I 
would partake in all the pleasures of the 
many splendid assemblies wherein he was 
himself an active manager. 

If I had not been out of my senses, I should 
have discovered all the symptoms of a shark 
in his features ; and designated in his Cor- 
morant looks the motives which brought 
him to the intervicAV. But my stupid vanity 
was so much elevated by all the sycophants 
who surrounded me, that through the whole 
veil I could per<feive nothing but condescen- 
sion, and even becoming humility. The ma- 
jor spoke of political news, and afterwards of 
gambling. This last subject he handled in 
a masterly way, and named many august 
places among the scenes of his achievements. 
Possessing the little experience I did, it was 
almost impossible to have the least dis- 
honourable suspicion on his account. I 
knew not that a gold laced rogue, provided 
with money and cards, could keep company 
every day with a prince, and be familiar 
with royal highnesses ; and no where is there 
more easy equality between men, than in 
those places wherein the game of pharao 
is the principal concern of life. 

Our conversation did not proceed further : 
G 2 



78 A FortniyMs Ramble. 

when the major took his leave, after having 
promised to meet me at the baron's in the 
afternoon. He also proposed for me to spend 
the evening- with him in company with a few 
select countrymen — "until the moment, my 
lord/' added he, " when pleasure calls you 
back to the arms of love." These last words 
were uttered with a very affected smile, and 
followed by a sly look, first directed at me, 
and afterwards at the Doctor. I was foolish 
enousfh to be elated with his remarks. One 
hundred times more vain than the most 
trifling Frenchman, I considered myself a 
man initiated into all the mysteries of the 
most refined manners in vogue. 

As the Doctor was an accustomed guest 
at the baron's house, it was not surpris- 
ing to see him accompany me without cere- 
mony to' dinner. The course was elegant; 
but the passion of gambling, which furnished 
the dinner expenses, shortened very much 
the indulgence of eating* I was placed by 
the side of a young man of an amiable coun- 
tenance, with an honest and mild demean- 
our. As great a stranger as I was to com- 
pany, yet I easily perceived that he was less 
familiarized than myself. With fondness he 
talked of gambling, and showed by his whole 



.1 Forlhiyht's Ramble. 79 

conversation, whicli ran on nothing- else, that 
he possessed the madness of gaming. If his 
physiognomy had not both bore a testimony 
of a decided ingenuousness and frankness of 
character, which removed every prejudice, 

one would have ranked him with the K , 

but he was as yet in the dupe's class. In 
his usual talk he blended great indiscretion, 
with much more pride, by which spirit he 
threw away an enormous estate in the delu- 
sive wheels of fortune; which he would boast 
of in every sentence he uttered. Like my- 
self, he united all the enterprise of a begin- 
ner to all the childishness of an only son, 
who had been spoiled by his father's indul- 
gence, consequently unacquainted with the 
artful and designing manners of men, his 
long infancy has extended far into manhood* 
No doubt I must have felt a presumptuous 
concern for such a character. Blind as I was 
to my personal actions, I reasoned pretty 
well, as it too often happens, on the account 
of others. I had been struck with this young 
man's exterior : and on leaving the table, 
asked the Doctor who he was; and was in- 
formed that his name was Raw, a rich plan^- 
ter, from one of the West India Islands, and 
the son of a prodigal spendthrift father, wh^) 



80 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

had squandered a fortune treble the one he 
had bequeathed to his son. 

It was not long' before all the guests were 
busily engaged at whist, I thought fate 
had arranged the actors. Being deficient of 
ladies, the baroness kept the three old gen- 
tlemen's company, and familiar guests of the 
house. I soon found myself to be in part- 
nership with my young- neighbour the West 
Indian, opposed to the master of the house, 
and a tall slim long backed fellow, speaking 
with affected accent, who called himself the 
marquis of ^^*, The resemblance of names 
led me to suppose that he was related to 
colonel =^**. [ was not deceived, he was his 
son. 

The hand being began, I perceived how 
painful it was to the young hot headed Raw, 
to contain his boisterous and g-amblinsf soul ; 
the studied movements of a regulated game 
incensed him so as to sigh for one produc- 
tive of a more simple and speedy issue. 
Every time the cards fell on the table his 
fancy led him to think of a twenty one or of 
a thirty and forty. Whist does not suit such 
giddy speculators ; therefore our adversaries 
embraced all the advantage. The young- 
man would double the stake on my hand. 



A Fortnight's Ramhle. 81 

which was considerable, and worthy the wrath 
of the baron's calculating genius: his madness 
for fortuitous events had led him to bets, by 
which he lost ten times more. I lost a hun- 
dred louis in the short time of playing a few 
hands : what was ventured by young Raw 
was pocketed by the colonel's worthy son, 
who in taking his leave, tendered with an 
ironical air to give him three or four lessoHS- 
every week. 

Major Sag stepped in, walked round 
the room : then stopped to consider the 
close of our hand. " Well ! gentlemen," 
said he, " you are ill treated at whist -, it is 
necessary to make up your loss at twenty 
one. He then conducted us to a table, 
set forth in a tail piece shaping the extremi- 
ty of the room wherein we were. It was 
soon after surrounded with ten or twelve 
players. I sat two hours between the major 
and the unadvised Raw. I was loaded 
with kindness and fair words by the major, 
who with condescension made himself busy 
in showmg me how to compute and foresee 
the throws: thanks to his advice, I rose up 
pretty much in the same way as when I be- 
gan. He mentioned to me, it was time to 
set off, and trampling upon the cards that 



83 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

had already overspread the inlaid floor, in 
company with the young Raw and the trusty 
Doctor, I followed him. 

We flew to York's hotel, to the major^s 
apartments, where he expected what he 
called the chosen of our countrymen. It 
was not long before the company were com- 
pleted. I knew sir Walter Whim, also 
young Rose, a Scotch gentleman, whose 
fortune was immense, and at that time as fit 
a youth as myself to imbibe any impression, 
and easily to be led into every snare. I'he 
major, in order to keep at bay three foolish 
young boys, had given us five or six of these 
accomplished travellers, who move round 
from Paris to London, and from thence to 
Spa, in order to direct themselves at stated 
times from those chief places; to all others 
where a great resort of people induces fami- 
ly children to learn the art of growing sharp, 
and to win money. 

In order not to alarm the game, nothing 
was spoken of before supper but what relat- 
ed to love matters : which is usually the first 
bait introduced by these illustrious folks, 
the more effectually to allure unsuspecting 
youth. My prowess had given me a name ; 
my magnificence, or rather my follies, scan- 



A FortnigMs Hamble. 83 

Oalously exposed, had established for me 
Ihe most shining fame, and furnished a cha- 
racter best suited for these dishonest knaves 
to be converted to their advantage. Such 
minds could by no means suffer an intro- 
duction, nor continuance of any serious con- 
versation. *' Miss *** was to-day I'eported 
dazzling" at Torre," said one of the byestan- 
ders. " Yes, upon my honOr," answered sir 
Walter, raising his shrill and flat voice. 
** Sir Walter," sai4 the major, " she has 
caught you in her snare ; take care of your 
resolution," *'0h! no, I swear to you!" 
** How ? I swear to you ! but truly you grow 
warm : that J swear to you is something 
extraordinary, it betrays the disorder of your 
soul : sir Walter, sir Walter, you have re- 
ceived a mortal wound."—" Whatever it 
may be," continued he, " every one sees the 
way he thinks best : I know a certain little 
person with a tossed up nose, a pretty face, 
and childishly graceful, to whom I would 
give the preference — but hush !" added he 
looking at me; " the Bet of the intrigue is 
not far off. For a novice, the place has been 
besieged with much success and splendour," 
At these words they all looked at me, "The 
deuce ! my lord," said the thin flanked and 



84 A Forlnight's Ramble. 

affected marquis ***, " how have yo\i settled 
yourself there ! by G — ! what magnificence ! 
there was enough to subdue half the opera. 
Who then is the pitiful blockheaded mercury 
who could lead you so far into error as res- 
pects the current price ?" Here I saw the 
Doctor turn pale, and inwardly finding fault 
with the marquis's indiscretion, I hastened 
to extricate him from his awkward situation. 
" Mr. the marquis," said I, " It was without 
any assistance or advice, that I have thus 
satisfied my fancy." " The wx)rse for it, 
my lord, the worse for it : for you are about 
to deprive us all of our usual enjoyments 
with these princesses." 

Seated at table, we all talked nonsense, 
until the dessert; when the fumes of wine, 
with the effervescence of passion, were giv- 
ing life to conversation, which soon became 
loose, disgusting, and licentious. Rapidly 
increasing bumpers, soon delivered us up 
unguarded, and without judgment, fit sub- 
jects for the major's designs. 

Such are the effects of the intemperate use 
of mixed wines, consisting of as great a varie- 
ty as could be invented by debauchery. They 
also made but one step from the table to one 
covered with green cloth; being always the 



A FortnigMs Ramble. 85 

pltmned condition for perfecting' the work. 
Before him the major made a great display 
of gold : at the sight of which young Raw's 
eyes beamed with unusual brightness ; he 
impatiently threw forward ten Louis, which 
were lost at almost the same instant : as the 
cautious and wise Doctor had foreseen the 
chance of the first throw, he only ventured 
rfive ; the major won. Sir, the Scotch gen- 
tleman, and myself were by degrees seduced 
into play ; its true, fortune favoured us, but 
being hot-brained, and flushed with our 
good luck, we went in deeper still : chance 
shifting at the same time, which our senses 
experiencing the effects of, were soon after 
put into greater ferment by the addition of 
strong delusive punch, which we were drink- 
ing without thinking of consequences ; what 
we then did, or saw, was all with disorder and 
confusion. Whilst our losses emboldened 
us for revenge, they became greater : gold, 
words, ^nd notes escaped from our mad 
hands, and stuttering mouths. 

In vain would the reader expect all the par- 
ticulars of that horrid night : my disorder- 
ed reason could never recollect any thing 
of it. Enough, however, remained with 
me to be ashamed for having drowned it so 



86 A Fortnight's Ramhk. 

far as to have absolutely forgotten the boun- 
tiful hand that removed me, without the least 
knowledge, from that shameful and infa- 
mous den. 



/ 



( 87 ) 



FOUHTH DAY. 



Grievous alarm j loss seemingly repaired. 

After the heavy, and stupid slumber 
of drunkenness, I opened my weak and 
painful eyes ; awkward, sick, and not know- 
ing" what to do with myself, I heard the bell 
strike one -, I wished to turn out from bed, 
wherein 1 lay feverish and restless : my 
staggering legs still gave way under me. 
The chaos of my thoughts clearing by de- 
grees, and my memory disengaging from 
the fumes of the wine, I endeavoured to tix 
them on my last day's actions, or rather of 
the preceding night: I met but the most 
frightful confusion j and was fearful through 
that infernal gloom to search the truth. In 
this irresolution, I applied to the Doctor, 
whom I sent for. 

"Well ! my dear lord," said he, "here you 
are, weary and sick : alas !" continued he 
with an affected groan, " here it is ; one 



88 A Foilnighfs Ramble. 

without any caution gives himself up ; the 
purse, and health, both of them suffer ; the 
amount you have lost is considerable ; but 
that lesson my be of sei-vice to you, and if 
you make a g-ood use of the same, you may 
not have paid for it too dearly." — " How ! 
do you say that I have lost a great sum of 
money ? the gold I had could not amount to 
more than fifty Louis." " O ! surely you do 
not reflect, my lord : I confess you had lost 
a little of your usual reflection : I was all 
the time busy in making signs to you, but it 
was all of no avail, you went on at the same 
rate. To speak the truth to you, you are 
not the only one, nor the most unfortunate. 
Sir Walter and the fiery Rose have a share 
in your disgrace. The first has lost eighteen 
hundred guineas, and the second seven 
thousand, and you"—" How me !" — " Yes, 
yourself, my lord ; you have forgot with 
what madness you continued to enlarge the 
stake at every throw which you lost. I can- 
not help doing justice to the major's honor, 
who like a good player countenanced every 
thing opposed to him. It is somehow in- 
credible how constantly chance favoured 
him. It's true I have some obscure notion 
that he may have won something on my 



A FortniyMs Ramble. 89 

word." — " How ! something, three thousand 
pieces" — " ah, my lord,"—" Three thou- 
sand !" said I with surprise. " Yes, as 
much ; I am grieved at it, but it is a real 
fact." I was speechless and stupified. — 
The arrival at this time of the Scotch gen- 
tleman, who had lost seven thousand guineas, 
brought me to my recollection. The sight 
of a man more unhappy and imprudent than 
ourselves, gives an apparent ease to our own 
situations. His entrance gave me the strength 
to receive him with welcome. 

Rose was pale, wasted, and as fatigued, as 
myself : soon after, I perceived it was anger 
that strengthened him. " My lord," cried he 
to me from the door, " we have been plun- 
dered, murdered. Yesterday we were led 
into the snares of a set of rogues. Doc- 
tor, I beg your pardon, but you was one of 
them, and it often happens to you ; but I 
will except you. You have pocketed some- 
thing: I will eventhinkit was honestly done; 
though it does not become a man of your 
profession to be the pandor of a gambling 
house." — " Sir," gravely interrupted the Es- 
culapius, who had been at first confounded 
with this apostrophe, " you are much in er- 
ror by thus speaking of the compapy you 
H 2 



so A FortnigMs Ramble. 

was with last night : as respects myself, I 
may be allowed to appear" — " yes," an- 
swered the angry Scotchman ; " at that horn* 
to your sick folks. But what does it signify 
to me ? It is you, my lord, whom I came 
to see and to declare openly; for the money 
I had with me, I cheerfully submit to the 
baseness with which i have been tricked of 
it ; and which punishment is but too just for 
my having yielded to be led into that cut- 
throat place; but for the seven thousand 
pieces, which the major dares to claim as 
lost on my word, may the earth swallow me 
up if the rascal shall ever seea penny of it. 
They had so completely staggered my 
senses, and destroyed my understanding, 
that I am ignorant whether it was seven thou- 
sand or seven millions of pieces for which 
I had played. It was in that situation they 
had neither shame to play or to cheat." — 
" Sir," answered the physician with a softer 
tone of voice than before, " I can assure you 
that when you left the house, you owed the 
sum of seven thousand to the major. I was 
in perfect sang froid" — *' Doctor, I did not 
step out of the room, neither shall your sang 
froid have any weight in your testimonies : 
I will object to it. My lord," continued he^^ 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 91 

without the least regarding how the other 
gentlemen will swallow down what may be 
said to them, " I am resolved to proceed to 
the utmost extremity, rather than to submit 
to any claim made by these robbers, for the 
smallest particle of their expected booty ; I 
have hastened to acquaint you with these 
resolutions, and to advise you also to stem 
the torrent of their villany." 

The raging Rose wasiat this part of his 
speech, when sir Walter came in : his sad 
and long face, always unaltembly cold, left 
no room for any sensation or emotion to be 
perceivable. " Well ! sir Walter," said I to 
him, "what do you think of our misfortune ?" 
" I do not think any more about it ; I have 
paid." — " Paid," cried Rose in a rage : 
" well ! well, and good, every one has the 
liberty to see himself plundered : for my part^ 
may I be dishonoured, if such scoundrels ever 
obtain a farthing of what they have cheated 
me." *' I have suspected something of the 
kind," answered the baronet with his usual 
heaviness ; " but I have reflected, when such 
people as we, have had the misfortune ta 
commit a folly, and they can get rid of it for 
money, it is better to put up with it quietly, 
and do so no more," " This way, equally 



92 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

noble and judicious, of yielding to circum- 
stances, is truly worthy of you sir Walter," 
said the Doctor to him, with warmth. " If 
those gentlemen, (which G — forbid I should 
believe,) had been daring enough to cheat 
you, this resolution would be the only just 
alternative." *' My trusty sir," said Rose 
to him with anger, " you have your reasons 
to give an air of heroism to your vain pride ; 
rogues are interested to praise ; but know 
that I will not permit shameless knaves to 
reap with impunity more than seven thou- 
sand gumeas. Granted ; every one may do 
as seems best ; for me I have made up my 

mind ; if I was silly enough to pay my 

guardian" — "The Major," relied the Doc- 
tor, " is too reasonable not to come to some 
agreement with you, and to be satisfied with 
a settlement, until age has made you master 

of" " That he shall have neither the one 

nor the other, you may warrant him to be 
the case." Then he made a motion towards 
me ; I arose up, as I thought he was going to 
step out. As I accompanied him, he ear- 
nestly encouraged me not to be the dupe of 
that rascally set : these were'his words ; and 
he swore to stick to them. Truly the un- 
lucky major has found him fearless. After 



A PorlniyMs Ramble. ^3 

a few swaggering onsets, and a feigned run 
after him to England, M'hich was limited to 
Calais, barefaced, and with empty hands did 
he return to renew in the fashionable world 
his ordinary way of living. 

" What a madman!" said the Doctor 
when I came in. I had till then kept a pro- 
found silence. " I must acknowledge with 
frankness, my dear Doctor;" replied I, "I 
find some reason for his acting thus. It's 
true there is more greatness of soul in sir 
Walter's action; but I have the suspicion of 
the first, though I am determined to hold ta 
the L'Oiiduet of the latter." The Doctor 
with haste renewed : " I very well know by 
that, the sentiments which your birth must 
suggest to you ; I have lamented often your 
ft^ndness of defying fortune ; I am extreme- 
ly vexed at your loss : but I admire how you 
have both taken the step of prudence and of 
honour." " Well ! my dear friend, realise 
those three thousand louis, and not a word 
njore will be said about them." My slow 
and trembling hand drew out with regret 
a few notes from my pocket book, visibly 
growing thin ; which I intrusted to his care : 
which sacrifice produced other reflections 
than those made for Miss *** ; a sigh es- 



S(4 A Fortnight's Rcimhle. 

caped me, and I bitterly regretted a time so 
indulged, and gold wasted only foB her en- 
joyment. 

A coach was heard in the yard. What 
was my surprise and joy, when I saw her 
alight from it! love, no doubt jealous of the 
sacrifices I had made with the god of sharp- 
ers and thieves, who often times shares with 
him in this large city, came to claim my 
homage. Bathed in tears, the fair miss 
coming in threw herself into my arms ; 
"what is that the Doctor came and told 
mama of this morning? how ! was it to go 
and sacrifice yourself at the games of thirty 
and forty you had forgotten me last night ! 
alas, how have I suffered ! do you know one 
may ruin himself thus ? how will you do 
now?" — "It is nothing," answered I, squeeze 
ing her hand." " Or at least a small mat- 
ter," added the Doctor; "three thousand 
louis will affect on ray lord no kind of alter- 
ation. The only regret he probably feels, 
is not having made abetter use of the same," 
continued he with an air of mystery. *' No 
doubt," answered I, *' as it stands, I may 
bear the loss." " I am not rich," said the 
fair one with an affected air; "1 hope my 
lord sets value enough on my love for" — 



A FortnigMs Ramble. 95 

Here the heroine modestly looked down- 
wards, and seemed stifled with affection, that 
rendered her speechless. My compassion 
at the sight was extreme ; not imagining any 
thing about this new way of sowing, in order 
to reap, T hastened to remove her fears by 
setting forth eight hundred pieces in gold, 
and about six thousand remaining in paper 
money. At this sight, her complexion 
brightened with lively colours, and her looks 
resting with joy on such a precious fund, 
caused me to admire the share she took in 
every thing concerning me; her moving 
protestations tended to remove every idea of 
past misfortunes and foolishness, and were 
terminated by the assurances I gave her to 
call in the evening at her lodging. The 
fair one, comforted, left me with the most 
pleasing meditations. A little while after I 
stepped out, to dine at the count ***. 

He had collected a numerous assembly, 
consisting chiefly of the same persons I had 
met with at the baron's. I perceived the 
old colonel was on as good a footing in that 
house, as the Doctor with the latter. A 
most splendid dinner was set on the table. 
By the handsome manner every thing was 
performed in the house, it bespoke the per- 



96 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

feet contrast of all the means that had help- 
ed, during an age, the old banker to accu- 
mulate that succession. Here again gam- 
bling followed, a pleasing entertainment : 
for this time, I perfomed wonders ; beside 
the ready cash amounting to upwards of two 
hundred lours, withdrawing from play I won 
^fteen hundred more, from the marquis ***, 
on his parole : a most marvellous thing ; and 
hardly to be believed ! That marquis, son- 
in-law to the baron, was a Gasconej and 
the people of that province have, like the 
Piedmonteese, the faculty to command for- 
tune. After suc^h a distinguished victory, 
i made a sign to the Doctor and we stepped 
out. 

" Well !'* said he to me, " you see fortune 
is as fickle at play as at war : another such 
a setting as this one, not the semblance of 
yesterday's unhappy supper will remain. 
You cannot believe how I am pleased with 
this turn of good luck," I indifferently 
thanked him. " Most happy genius," cried 
he, " ever the same, whether losing or win- 
ning!" By thus discoursing, we came to 
Miss *** ; my open and shameful look, as- 
sisted with a wink of the Doctor, led me to 
guess as soon as I came in, I was bringing 



A FortniffMs Ramble. 07 

good tidings ; he hastened to let the ladies 
know it. "I am much delighted at it," 
said Miss ***, caressing* me with the great- 
est degree of fondness ; " but after that you 
must be wise and play no more." " I am 
very much of that sentiment," answered the 
Doctor, with an affected gravity. " A small 
game, as our twenty one of t'other day, I 
admit of," said the mama affectionately : " at 
least it does not ruin ; one goes to bed as if 
nothing was the matter." She then trivially 
expressing herself, ran on the fatal passion of 
gambling, and was not wanting of anec- 
dotes, which the Doctor took care to soft- 
en by the modification he hastened to add 
to them. This conversation was prolonged 
very late at supper : at every touch of moral- 
ity the old woman set forth, the young one 
amorously leaning towards me, would say : 
" do you well understand, my dear friend ?" 
In this way we closed the evening. — • 
Whilst I was delighted with these ladies 
zeal, the Doctor, without apprising me, dis- 
appeared, and returned with my coach. I 
withdrew with Miss **^ a few moments after. 
« Well !" said she to me, « you have then 
won ? keep that money 3 it will bring you 
good luck." This was enough to stir up my 



98 A Fortnights Ramble. 

prodigal disposition : for that very reason, I 
wished to share with her my winnings : with 
warmth she begged to be excused ; I was 
more than an hour in persuading her : yield- 
ing to my importunity, " I will keep it for 
you," said she, " and if ever you are in ill 
luck, you will find it here." Pleased with 
her idea, 1 gave her the whole sum, which 
she poured in her purse. That of an opera 
girl is like the acheron abyss*; never do 
they let go their prey : the other is alike. 
All the treasures of the bank of England 
could be admitted into it : but to take them 
back again, hoc opus hie labor est. 

Such was the destiny of the money won 
with so much trouble and chance. It will 
be seen I had no better luck in appropriating 
that owed to me by the marquis. 

* The great river of hell. 



( 90 ) 



FIFTH DAY. 



Stockjobbing, Great Concerns. Grievous 
Discovert/. 

I liEPT Miss ^** toward twelve the next 
day. Coming- into my house I fomid the Doc- 
tor. They told me at the door, some one im- 
patiently waited for me two hours. " My 
dear lord," said he to me, "it is a great while 
I have been waiting here ; as I have a mo- 
mentous business to impart to you, I have 
watched your return. I come to see you in 
behalf of that unlucky marquis you yes- 
terday so ill treated at play. JEarly in the 
morning- he called at my house; I really 
pitied the poor man. In this country one 
has not, as in England, immense fortunes. 
Great is his grief. As honour prescribed 
him to pay you in the day, he has been under 
the necessity to acknowledge his embarrass- 
ment to his father in law, the Baron *** ; he 
no doubt expected to draw some assistance 



100 A FortniyMs Ramhle. 

from his chest, but he met in this a continue 
jince of the same ill luck. Though great is 
the wealth of this man, his adventurous ge- 
nius oftentimes empties it. The unhappy 
marquis does not know what to do." "Well ! 
Let hiift take his time, as for me I am in no 
haste." " Surely that's very kind ; but give 
me leave to speak to you frankly ; a very 
bad principle it is to let a gambling debt run 
too long ; it may expose one to endles reta- 
liations; besides it destroys all our advan- 
tages ; your design is not to be for ever sit- 
ting round a green table. I have thought 
within myself of a settlement by which you 
would be immediately paid, and even with 
considerable advantage; but I know not 
whether it will suit you." " Speak plainly, 
and I will give you my opinion about it." 
" Finally, it could go so far as to indemnify 
you of all your expenses here." " I still less 
vmderstand you." " It is true it would re- 
quire a little patience, and above all a sort of 
speculative humour." In short, let us see 
then. " My dear lord, I beg of you to 
listen to me with attention; no one has a 
greater desire than I have to serve you. It 
is from that care M'hich suggested to me the 
idea I am going to explain; it belongs 



A Fortniyht's Ramble. 101 

solely to me. I have no assurances, but 
great hopes it will succeed. The baron is 
as skillful a man as nature ever organized ; 
he speculates with as much profoundness as 
security ; therefore public confidence meets 
his schemes. The most splendid successes 
have stampt a value on them. Lately he has 
gone beyond any thing of the kind. From 
time immemorial, hidden treasures were 
concealed in the heart of Spain -, whilst with 
great expenses they went and gathered the 
same in the new world, these were neglected. 
A man of talents sees all The baron, who 
has never failed in that respect, suspected 
more precious metals than are yielded by 
Peru or Potosi ; but it was necessary to pro- 
ceed to the opening of tlipse deep mines; 
great expenses were required to effect it. 
It was necessary to rely upon «, n>ost power- 
ful association, and to compose the same with 
a certain number of stockholders. This 
rich and firm undertaking soon acquired the 
greatest credit. I have thought, my lord, 
to take this opportunity in order to obtain 
you a share in the immense wealth it pro- 
mises." " I do not understand that well." 
" Nothing, however, is more simple. The 
fifteen hundredlouisdue to you, would partly 
I 2 



102 A Fortnight's Kamhle. 

help on such an advantageous purchase ; I 
expect it will be necessary to add something 
to it, but it would be money well laid out. 
I presume enough of my credit on the ba- 
ron*s mind, to persuade him to let you have 
one of the shares yet in his hands." " Truly, 
my dear doctor, you are a wonderful man ^ 
but do you think the baron does not know 
the worth of those actioas, for him to ap- 
prove of such a bargain ?" " Leave me to 
act ; he is generous and wise 3 he is infinite- 
ly sensible to fair dealings. He heartily 
loves his family ; I take on myself to set 
forward yours towards his son-in-law ; it re- 
quires but a little dexterity to manage all 
that. Between us both, do you know, it 
will be a great pjece of policy ! The stay 
in this city, so hurtful to many others, will 
be by these means an increase to your for- 
tune ; I do really believe it will prove infal- 
lible." " I wholly leave to you the manage- 
ment of my interests/' said I to him with gra- 
titude. The doctor commended my good 
sense, and rejoiced at the thought thereof. 

Whilst he was going to work with so 
much certainty to the increase of my for- 
tune, the morning was taken up with my 
form^er occupations. I with some impa- 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 103 

tience waited the result of a negociatiou 
•wherewith he led me to expect such great 
benefits. A no less able broker, than a cun- 
ning Mercury, appeared the physician, hold- 
ing in his hand a very line piece of mineral. 
"Here," said he to me, "there is a specimen 
which has been drawn from the never failing 
source of your future riches ; it is almost 
pure silver." I viewed the piece, which 
gave me an idea of the treasures hid under 
the cover of Toboso's soil. " It will cost 
you," said he, " some addition to the fifteen 
hundred louis, but it is sowing to reap an 
hundred fold. One cannot deal more nobly 
than does the baron; on this great city's 
change each share is worth actually more 
than one hundred thousand livres; still at 
that price they are eagerly sought for. He 
gives you this one for twenty-four thousand 
half crowns; it will be fifteen hundred louis 
to add to what is due you." Whilst the 
doctor was thus increasing in that belief, my 
credulity and folly increased also. We 
went both to dine familiarly at the Hotel 
*** ; there they loaded me with kindness ; 
spoke about business, and in a few hours 
after I left it with a fine castle in the air, fot 



104 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

my three thousand guineas, and the head 
filled with emptiness and idle schemes. 

I had once more taken out from my 
pocket-book fifteen hundred louis, to be 
added to my winning', I thought to have 
made a bold deed. To a day so filled up 
with fortune's favours, succeeded the most 
dissipated evening-. Provided as Iwaswith 
my able speculation, my past pleasures cost 
me so very little, for the future I was re- 
solved to multiply them. I went to every 
public spectacle, and in consequence of a 
great supper given to Sir Walter, and some 
other friends, my senses over heated with 
good cheer, the mind exalted with flatter- 
ing hopes, I reached the happy Richelieu- 
street. 

It was very late; probably Miss *** had 
suspected me, as seriously employed as I was 
at Major Sag's two days before; she no 
longer waited for me. I however perceived 
the casement of the apartments — they were 
still lighted. I nimbly stepped up, and 
crossing the first room, left open through 
the servant's carelessness, 1 reached the par- 
lour. What was my surprise and sorrow, 
when on a sofa I discovered an unknown 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 103 

person in the arms of my fail- one ! My 
coming in caused pleasures to fly away, suc- 
ceeded with consternation and confusion. 
This was not all ; I lost the use of my 
speech, when the person who thus enjoyed 
the right I had evei:y reason to expect be- 
longed solely to me, had in getting up shown 
me his face. Indignation and anger threw 
me more than a minute into a kind of stupi- 
dity ; it was the creditor to the small bill, the 
unmerciful M. Fragment; but very differ- 
ent from what he was the day before ; ele- 
gant as a dancing master, curled as an 
abbot ', his transformation would have caused 
him to remain unknown to any other except 
an exasperated lover. Come to my senses, 
1 cried out aloud, and reaching the door, I 
shut it with violence. Pensive and con- 
founded, I returned to my hotel, where I 
laid awake the whole night, disturbed with 
the hideous turns of jealousy and shame I 
then felt at finding myself thus made a fool 
of. I did not suspect then those accidents 
were ordinary, and regulated the final event 
of all the intrigues with the opera missesi. 



( 106 ) 



SIXTH BAY. 



Sad Reflections. Change of Scene. An 
ho7wurahle Visit, Second Fall. 



During the grievous night thus gone 
through, I had experienced the most extra- 
ordinary strugglings within me. Though 
ashamed to be thus a dupe, my senses were 
pleased j and contending with my reason, it 
was difficult for this one to obtain the victory. 
Finally reflection strengthening my pride, it 
gained the advantage j and, perhaps, if I 
had not called to my aid the perfidious and 
seducing leader who deceived my youth, 
the issue of that folly would have sufficed to 
prevent all the others. Having a knowledge 
of the baseness of a mercenary love, I never 
imagined that one could thus take the ad- 
vantage of an outside friendship. In the 
same manner I charged with credulity and 
mistake the Doctor, and my open and sim- 
ple soul was far from suspecting him to be 



J FortnkjMs Ramble. 107 

accessary to a treachery of which I could 
hardly conceive the wickedness. 

Early in the morning- I sent for him. I 
longed to let him know my grief and my 
mortification. In vain did the certain pros- 
pect of the treasures of Spain gratify my 
desires, and tender to me an ample indemni- 
ty of the gold lavished on ***, that feeling 
with a young man is not the strongest. Self 
love was not comforted, and it ever offered 
to my resentment a hideous and disgusting 
picture, though my jealousy was extinct. 

With the greatest impatience I expected 
the physician; every instant was an age. 
So much did my emissary quicken him, that 
finally he came in half dressed. " Well !" 
said I to him, with trembling and abashed ac- 
cents of rage, they >* deceive me grievously ; 
would you ever believe it ?" ** Who then ?" 
answered he, out of countenance. " The de- 
testable woman you had so good an opinion 
of" *' Is that possible ?" " Possible ! It is a 

fact Last night I surprised I cannot 

express to you my just rage," ** How 
my Lord ? Pray be so kind as to explain 
yourself." " What ! my dear friend, a rogue, 
a scoundrel, to whom I had paid afew days 
ago a supposed bill," " I am amazed. 



108 ^1 Fortnight's Ramble. 

Abominable sex," cried he, looking up and 
joining his two enormous hands, " here are 
then your foolish fancies ! Alas! what do 
you acquaint me with ? What ! that girl, 
"whose natural affections had seduced me ! 
Many of these women have such frolick- 
some caprices ; 1 should never have suspect- 
ed this fair one." 

We had a pause of a few minute's silence. 
The Doctor, pretending to reflect, pursued 
with a more settled voice : " After all, dis- 
agreeable as it is, it is a fortunate thing for 
yoti to have discovered this betimes. You 
acted too candidly; it would have been a 
great pity if your bounty had continued to 
fall on such an unworthy object. Allow 
this expression to friendship ; the shortest 
follies are the best." These last words of 
the Doctor's, far from quieting my senses, 
gave me an appearance of sottishness ; then 
springing from within the bounds I had 
been till that moment, I uttered many a ri- 
diculous, threatening, and childish curse. 
My wise Mentor exhausted his eloquence in 
order to show me the meanness of a sudden 
break-out, and even the danger thereof. For 
this purpose he descended to particulars re- 
specting the infamous privileges of all those 



^1 ForinigMs Ramhle. 10i> 



women who are inscribed on the catalogue 
of the royal academy of music. At length 
hy much talking" on the consequences of 
such an unbecoming* idle noise and scandal, 
he succeeded in bringing me a little to my 
senses. 

These serious circumstances had naturally 
produced a short intermission of the raving- 
to which I had been a prey since my arrival 
in Paris ; J remembered in that first interval, 
that a certain Chevalier *** lived, for whom 
I had letters of recommendation from lords 
H* • • • andS* • • •; it was too late for them t(» 
be useful to me; if any thing could have justi- 
fied this negligence of mine, it was from my 
not having his worthy name uttered among 
the many strange characters I had been in 
company with. I told my mind to the Doc- 
tor. " Ah, my G — ! I am your man," 
cried he with emphasis ; " the chevalier has 
not a more dear and better friend than I; 
why did you not tell it me before ? but it is 
unnecessary to let him know how long j'ou 
have been in Paris." I stepped in a coach, 
and under the Doctor's guard \^ e went to 
Neuilly; really the Doctor seemed to mc 
to be on the best footing in the house ; if the 
master's reception had corresponded with 



110 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

that of the people we met with coming in, I 
should have inferred his credit was far great- 
er at the Chevalier's than at the Hotel .... 

At length the Chevalier made his appear- 
ance ; he was a man of about forty years of 
age, with noble features, a physiognomy re- 
plete with expressions of goodness. I took 
notice that he passed the greatest encomiums 
on the authors of the letters of recommen- 
dation I had given him. After a few 
minutes, I was as perfectly at my ease with 
him, as a man could be, who had in his head 
the dose of folly, which kept me in a state of 
i'erment. 

I was invited to dine at the Chevalier 
• • • • 's. I'he guests who came in were men 
well known, on accountof their great talents ', 
Messrs. . . • • , - • . • , the Chevalier • • • • ; 
but the gravity of the sciences, and the 
harshness that often attends the profound 
pursuit of learning, did in no way change 
their pleasantness of manners. I regret I 
was^not enough qualified to join profit to 
pleasure, so as to endear me with men, I 
this day commence an acquaintance with so 
much agreeableness and pleasure. 

To this circle, came in a young gentle- 
man on a visit ; the moment he appeared. 



A Fortnight's Rmnhle. Ill 

llie features of our host instantly brightened 
tip ; he was hke a gratified father who un- 
expectedly receives a beloved son ; on the 
contrary, the elongated phiz of the Doctor 
seemed to be increased to an unusual length, 
by perceiving that his importance attracted 
no attention from Bouillac, (the young 
stranger's name.J All the conversatiorf 
turned to Bouillac, and I coul^ not hut ad- 
mire the happy construction of all his ex- 
pressions, the extension of his vast and quick 
imagination ; he with equal fluency spoke in 
either the English or the French languages; 
as occasion called for, and would reflect on 
every subject a judicious and full scope of 
.sprightliness or sarcasm, which the topic 
might require. They heard him with great 
pleasure, but his caustic turn of mind gave 
rapidity of expression in a way that ob- 
servably disturbed the features of the Che- 
valier ••••, notwithstanding the extreme 
partiality he so expressively had indicated for 
him. 

Every eftbrt of the Doctor was made in 
order to show his consequence in this house, 
yet he could not conceal from me the nullity 
of his standing before the company. He 
was silent ; he was undone ; in particular his 



112 A FortniyUs Ramhle, 

peremptory and imperious countenance had 
disappeared from the moment of Bouillac's 
eutrance. Disturbed and trembling- for feai' 
of further irony from Bouillac, he remarked 
to me, in a low voice, that this upstart fel- 
low, Bouillac, was a man more hateful and 
dangerous, than deserving of merit either for 
his eloquence or wit. 

1 soon discovered the Doctor's motives 
for suggesting these ideas ; the severe Bou- 
illac lampooned, in the most grievous and 
cutting manner, most of those persons with 
whom I had formed an acquaintance by the 
Doctor's introduction. The Chevalier • • • • 
questioned me as to my general companions, 
and who were the masters selected for my 
instruction since my arrival in Paris. To 
prevent any particular answer being made 
to these inquiries, the Doctor with great 
anxiety replied to them. He spoke of my 
rapid progress under the tuition of the Abbot 
French, and the S* • • • G- • • •, and added, 
that I should very soon make a visit to the 
academy of D • • •'• G • • • • . The discourse 
respecting the reputation of my associates, 
was slightly touched. He spoke with cau- 
tion, and as if from an accidental meeting 
my acquaintance with the baron had been 



A Fortnights Hamblc. 113 

formed, and with dexterity glanced over 
the subject of the Toboso mine ; nothing was 
hinted at the marvellous purchase, nor of the 
vast concern he had taken to procure it for 
my account. Whilst the Doctor was thus 
rapidly running over all these outlines, Bou- 
illac maliciously smiled, and by multiplying 
his interrogations, only tended to increase 
his confusion. The Chevalier gravely put, 
an end to these mortifying and endless 
ironies, and assuming a more serious coun- 
tenance, observed that, "it would be far 
better, my lord, for you to keep company 
with a different class of society, than to 
mingle any longer with the Doctor's friends ; 
you will neither acquire a knowledge of the 
nation, or its manners ; moreover, take heed, 
young and wealthy as you are, you will meet 
with many snares ; this country is thronged 
with them, particularly from the women; with 
the men, you may lose your money, with 
the latter, men venture more." Here Bou- 
illac, looking at the Doctor, said, " good, 
good ! what you may lose with them, my 
lord, the Doctor will put you in the way to 
recover again ; he has made in this way 
many marvellous experiments on numbers of 
young Englishmen !" To the severity of 
K 2 



114 A FoHni()hCs llmnble* 

this observation, lie made a long and plea- 
sant comment on the text of the Chevalier 
* • • • . He described the green-rooms, their 
danger, the discovery of the many events 
met with there; I would have thought he 
knew my story ; I blushed — the whole com- 
pany laughed heartily at his expressive wit 
and warmth of description. The Doctor 
whispered in my ear, that Bouillac possessed 
a serpent's tongue, and that there was no 
end to his levity. After a few moments de- 
lay, he was apprehensive that my mind might 
receive a diminished respect for him, he 
therefore forced me to withdraw. " Well !" 
said he on our return home, "you have now 
seen, my lord, fine wits and learned men, with 
their ordinary attendants, enthusiasm and cri- 
ticism. You will see, whatever may be said, 
that it is but a sad society ; vanity at the most 
may lead and set it off; however, I must do 
justice to the Chevalier . • • • , he has loved 
pleasure, and has been accessible ; but since 
that accursed Bouillac has seduced him by 
his talk, every thing is changed. Formerly 
I was on the best terms possible in that 
house ; Bouillac is the reason why I never 
visit there without coming away dissatisfied, 
I wonder how they can be so weak as to 



A FortmfjhCs Ramble. 115 

show him such attachment; one cannot 
know him ; he is y-ery vicious ; and not 
wortli a farthing-. Proud of his pitiful dig'- 
nity, and in order to indemnify himself, he 
assumes the merits of a Cato, ridicules wo- 
men, and depreciates the reputation of every 
man. I must frankly confess to you, that 
if I had suspected meeting- him at the Che- 
valier's, I would have m*^ed the postpone- 
ment of our visit to a future day. Bouillac 
is a mad man ; his gravity covering- maiig-- 
nity, is alluring and dangerous. Would you 
suppose that the Chevalier • • • • , by keeping 
his company, has been led into a total disbelief 
of my veracity ?" The warmth with which 
the Doctor uttered his speech made some 
impression on my mind. " I confess," said 
1, ** it is somewhat inconceivable, that young 
man possesses overflowing wit ; and proba- 
bly an unimpaired character." "Ho! an 
abominable character ; all that he meddles 
with is dishonoured by him; the most 
trifling things are coloured into enormities. 
The most innocent act of gallantry is con- 
strued into the most intemperate scenes of 
debauchery; the least weakness in gambling, 
he calls a cheat, or a systematic fraud. I, 
my lord,. who address you, because I enter- 



116 A Fortnights Ramble. 

tain some degree of complaisance for my 
friends, have been in his wicked descrip- 
tions, more than an hundred times repre- 
sented as a most mean and determined 
pimp. — O what a mischievous man ! — Have 
you paid any attention to the paltry jokes 
which he lavished against the Baron • • • • ? 
It is a cruel hatred, my lord, exhibited to- 
wards that person,. who has a claim to pub- 
lic estimation. We will speak no more of 
Bouillac, and I advise you to shun him, in- 
as much as he is a dangerous fellow, from his 
cunning and engaging manners." I pro- 
mised the Doctor that he should not deceive 
me. 

T had no fixed project for the evening; 
consequently my feelings and spirits were 
very dull ; my face indicated that kind of 
gravity which denotes the tedium of inac- 
tive spare-time. The Doctor knew well how 
to divert the most lethargic from sinking 
into dull reflection. " Well !" said he, " it 
is necessary, in order to remove the weari- 
ness of time, which overcomes you, that 
vou should go with me to • • • • ; he will 
make you forget such disagreeable impres- 
sions." Consequently, I was passively led 
away by him to an evening's amusement, at 



A Fortnir/ht's Itamhle. 1 17 

the house of that • • • ., who was the same 
banker whose officious zeal was recom- 
mended to me in the first hours of our ac- 
quaintance. On entering- the room, I found 
there a most strange set — That at the Ba- 
ron . • • • 's bore no comparison. If pleasure 
spring's up only in the centre of a multitude, 
his house was a temple and sanctuary dedi- 
cated to folly. The master was an ing-enious 
deviser of schemes, an extravagant better, 
with a strange and ridiculous compound of 
French conceit ; he condescended to perform 
the ceremony of. waiting- on those of his own 
turn of mind, with more officiousness tlian 
politeness. He introduced me to an old 
man, whose features bore some resemblance 
to the outlines of a sharper of the Jewish 
cast. He was the Merry Andiew of the 
house ] and made great attempts at low wit, 
from which he thought himself possessed of 
fascinating manners, even at the age of se- 
venty-seven years. In one of his whims he 
had for joke's sake, married a supposed 
Agnes. The jests with which he at all 
times affected to amuse the giddy, had in- 
troduced him to many a respectable circle, 
to excite merriment and laughter, where he 
stands often in the first consideration of es- 



118 A FortnigMs Ramble. 

teem. By these means he formed a dis- 
guise, whereby his avarice had acquired its 
end. 

The second person who figured in the 
company, was a Httle, rough looking, thick 
man, with a bold assurance in his manners, 
and a roseate face of pimples ; his voice was 
lioarse and shrill, like a true Silenus. This 
man had once made a great noise in Paris, 
under the name of Lord • • • - . After having 
been robbed of his wealth by a celebrated 
lady of intrigue, he had been reduced to 
the more modest title of M • • • • ; and had by 
turns been an inhabitant of the Bastile, and 
Levesque's strong fortification — and had it 
not been for a considerable inheritance, that 
came providentially to his relief, he was in 
the fair way of ending his days at Fort 
Bicetre. 

A third actor, matched suitably with the 
former, was a runaway from England, where 
he enjoyed an office which gave him an op- 
portunity of handling military money— he 
absconded with a considerable amount. 
These means, thus obtained, only suffered 
him to vegetate in the company of prosti- 
tutes, in a retired and obscure situation in 
the extremity of one of the city suburbs. 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 1 19 

A multitude of stock-jobbers, of all sorts 
and conditions, were severally grouped ; 
some concerned in games of consequence, 
and others iii an assembly of political specu- 
lation. . There, the spirit of gain showed all 
its infuriate passion. Petty lewd jests di- 
versified and completed the bustle. For 
this time, the Doctor was mistaken ; though 
he used every effort to raise . • • • and his 
house in my estimation, I could not find any 
charm in his attempt. Therefore, acting, for 
for the first time since my arrival, from my 
own impression, I remained there but a 
short time. I had in view, objects of a dif- 
ferent complexion, seen that day ; and they 
would have produced the most happy effects, 
if on my leaving the place, the able physi- 
cian had not hastened to alter his scheme. 
He led me to the Royal Palace, where 
many adventurers are met with daily. The 
one I am about to relate, happened, I pre- 
sume, without being further noticed, and 
was the result of chance, though the Doc- 
tor's sagacity and wit, may possibly often 
cause such incidents to spring up with seem- 
ing imperceptibility. 

I met sir Walter in the great walk, who 
invited me to supper in the neighbourhood 



120 A Forinii/kt's Ramhle. 

of the royal palace, which invitation I ac- 
cepted : he led me to see the famous ***, 
with whom he had for a month past encum- 
bered himself; this insatiate woman has 
shown her usual greediness with the baro- 
net's liberality. Miss *** occupied a small 
elegant, and commodious hotel ; the magni- 
ficence and richness of all its ornaments, 
showed her prodigal extravagance. All 
that I found so glittering at ***, was con- 
fined to an elegant neatness and plain con- 
venient superfluity. It was nothing to be 
compared to what I beheld at sir Walter's. 
The stair case, which led to many rooms, 
as well as the rooms, were lined by a multi- 
tude of servants in various liveries ; for 
which reason I expected to meet a distin- 
guished and numerous company in the 
drawing rooms. In going through the 
crowd, I observed that many of these gentle- 
men, and waiting ladies, copied extraordi- 
narily well the easy forwardness and gen- 
teelness of their masters, and their mistresses. 
At length we came to the sanctuary. How 
many a sacrificer surrounded the idol ! I was 
introduced by sir Walter. On seeing- that 
renowned courtesan, I found her person far 
beneath the idea I had entertained of her, 



A ForlniyhCs Ramble. 121 

after the noise she had made in London, and 
Paris. However, I cannot but acknow- 
ledge she possessed, in a great degree, that 
kind of agreeableness which advantageous- 
ly compensates for the absence of beauty, 
and affects us more. I was charmed by 
my reception, being both affably kind and 
courteous. 

Miss *** had, as well the traitress ***, a 
companion. She was like the other, (ac- 
cording to the ordinance,) I mean to say, far 
less pretty : it was said they were cousins ; 
though, in spite of the inequahty of their 
charms and allurements, she intended to ad- 
vance her interest : this is the common pre- 
text for him who covets the honours of war, 
as well as for the ladies of pleasure, who 
artfully aim at an annuity. My compli- 
ments being paid to the mistress of the house, 
the cousin took her turn. On leaning to- 
wards the other, she, whispering, said to 
her : " what ! is that the poor little my lord 
*** : ah ! he is a handsome fine fellow. 
Ho ! how basely she has wronged him, she 
richly deserves what has happened to her." 
I blushed, but could not tell whether it was 
from an impulse of shame or of pleasure, 
which these words so suddenly drew forth. 



122 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

The numerous and shining attendants 
that surrounded these ladies, were general- 
ly unknown to me. Sir Walter, whose con- 
nexion with the lady naturally made him 
acquainted with her friends, named to me 

the marquis • • • •, Mr. . I remembered 

that the Doctor had mentioned him to me 
as the most engaging' of the circle ; he also 
introduced me to the count • • • • , and to the 
chevalier . • • • , and some others less eminent 
in the splendid catalogue of scandal, attach- 
ed to this lady's assembly. 

The two first named appeared to enjoy 
in the house acknowledged privileges. — 
Though all the expenses were incurred on 
sir Walter's account, they seemed to per- 
form all the honours with so much good 
grace, unmingled with affectation, that like 
the baronet, 1 should have been delighted 
with such masters of ceremony. 

In this alluring company, the remem- 
brance of my misfortune was insensibly ef- 
faced by the noble emulation which was 
raised to remove my unhappiness. It is 
likely that the first efforts I made to get rid 
of my English stiffness, must have increas- 
ed my awkwardness : they laughed in their 
sleeves. The praises they bestowed on my 



^1 FortniyhCs Ramble. 123 

handsome mien and easy manner, could 
only be an innocent ridicule. However, as 
Miss • • • • spoke English pretty well, it was 
in my power to speak to her in the language 
of love ; on which subject I was less re- 
served. As for my deficiency of fine man- 
ners, of which I was conscious, I inward- 
ly congratulated myself on the proficiency 
I should soon make in this polished school 
of fashion. 

At supper, I was honoured with a seat be- 
tween the two angelic cousins. The enter- 
tainment I had met with at Miss's ia Riche- 
lieu-street, was delicate, and given in the 
very best style ; but here it was in monstrous 
profusion. Among the nobles who com- 
posed the circle of guests, were artists and 
virtuosos, whose talents embellished the 
feast at the dessert. Gambling, as usual, suc- 
ceeded the splendid supper. I played with 
prudence, and left off with an inconsider- 
able loss. 

The whole of the time I remained at Miss 
• • • • 's, she very assiduously kfipt me in con- 
versation, pretending that she was the only 
one in the room who could familiarly speak 
English. Being thus entertained with so 
much distinction, I should have been fearful of 



J 24 A Fortnight's Hamhle. 

giving" an alarm to the feelings of any olhei' 
person than sir W • • • • . I thought her con- 
duct was chargeable with at least ingratitude 
and imprudence. The quiet and grave sir 
W. had happily more vain show than love 
in his composition ; for no actions of his fair 
lady were ever suffered to distort his fea- 
tures, or at most, to touch his heart but lightly^ 
It was not long before I knew the motive of 
their extraordinary conduct. The baronet 
informed me that his business immediately 
called him back to London, and that he in- 
tended to set oif in two or three days. No 
doubt Miss was thinking how to fill up the 
chasm during his absence, and in a manner 
worthy of her exalted pretensions, which she 
perceived to be justly appreciated by her 
English lovers. Surely, [ ought to have 
despised the motives for such a preference ; 
but I was guided by pride, and led on by 
resentment. At an age wherein reason 
seems to have no power, in a place wherein 
great care is taken to banish, or to infatuate 
the senses, it is hardly possible to be advised 
by it. I went away well pleased, conse- 
quently subdued by her advances. I was 
gratified by its affording me the oppoitunity 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 125 

of provoking andjjnortifying the pride of the 
detestable • • • .. 

The Doctor seemed, daring' the whole 
evening, to have lost sight of me, and to 
have confined himself to the entertainment 
of two or three of Miss • • • • 's society ; he 
nevertheless studied the changes of my 
countenance, and justly guessed my dispo- 
sitions. He was that kind of man who. 
would not oppose my views, any more 
than was necessary to shelter himself from 
blame, in case of any unlucky issue to 
an adventure. For this reason he acted 
with his customary address. He left me at 
my door, with reflections far less moral than 
those adopted in the morning'. I went to 
sleep, and began to form many projects for 
future pleasure and revenge. 



126- 



SEVENTH DAY. 



What follows the amorous attempts. Plain 
talk of an exalted courtesan with an iri- 
cjenious servant. Singular agreement. 

Recovered from my enthusiasm excit- 
ed the clay before on my awakening in the 
morning, " what a contrast," said I to my- 
self, " is there between the English in love 
affairs, and the marvellous men I met with 
yesterday ! I will endeavour to resemble 
them ! and my fair • • - • shall teach me their 
secret art. Surely, it will be worth what 
little drafts may again be made on my 
pocket book." 

The powerful attractions which my im- 
petuous fancy had created for that beauty, 
were heightened with the hope of an imme- 
diate acquirement ; but the contrast of her 
accomplishments with my late burlesque 
adventure with Miss • • • • , somehow cooled 
my ardpur, and rendered myself ridiculousy 



A FortnigMs Ramble. 127 

and certain of another shipwreck on some 
point with more distress, and mortifying- 
consequences, than followed my first voyage 
on the ocean of female pleasure. Provence, 
my waiting' servant, came in to tender me 
his usual services, preparatory to the leav- 
ing of my bed-room. 

Being- in the habit of communicating all 
my secrets to that worthy servant, from my 
knowledge of his being a trusty valet ; in 
which character he was alternately servant 
or master's companion, as his duty required, 
and for which he was qualified, by possess- 
ing all the cunning of a confidential stage 
servant. I therefore told him of my new 
love schemes and passions: he with eager- 
ness embraced this opportunity as most fa- 
vourable to restore himself to the good 
opinion of the Doctor, which had been for- 
feited on the former adventure. He vjent 
away, executed his errand, and in a little 
while returned, to acquaint me with his suc- 
cessful negociation. 

As my emissary was coming in with his 
mouth already in motion to give me an ac- 
count of his embassy, he perceived the Doc- 
tor to be with me : at the sight of whom he 
instantly became silent. It was easy to ob- 



128 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

serve from liis countenance the fear which 
the Doctor's presence had excited, lest the 
management of his important business should 
be taken from him. The Doctor, with much 
address, concealed the suspicion which he 
entertained, and with affected discretion, 
proposed to withdraw, if I had any thing of 
moment or privacy with my valet. "Alas ! 
no, my dear Doctor," said I to him with a 
smile, " I do not know why Mr. Provence 
should be out of countenance, as I do not 
wish any thing to be hidden from you. On 
the contrary, as it is my desire for you to be 
acquainted at the same time with myself of 
either my good or bad fortune, it is neces- 
sary I should give you a clew to his mission. 
Last evening's supper-party has ranked me 
on the list of Miss • • • ''s admirers : but, in 
truth, my affection has not yet attained 
strength enough for me to sufi'er much by 
being thus enlisted, if it should prove abor- 
tive ; though I think it will not be unsuccess- 
ful, from what I have observed. The fair 
Miss • • • • displayed to me the most pointed 
and significant attention." " Yes, truly, very 
significant," said he, " and to tell you my 
thouglits with candour, seeing her eternally 
whispering m your ear, I had even thought 



A Fortnight's llamhle. 129 

that you were in great forwardness. Be, how- 
ever, aware of the consequences; my lord, 
you know by your own experience how 
strange women are." " Oh !" replied I, " (ve 
ought to overlook their few trifling defects ; 
if people were too deeply impressed with the 
dangers of the sea, they would never ven- 
ture again on the boisterous ocean. Besides, 
my dear Doctor, it would be great injustice 
for you to suspect and condemn all women, 
because you have been the dupe of ••••." 
" Oh ! my lord," answered he, " I have too 
much affection for your person, to be led by 
motives which would be unworthy of me." 
" Yery well, my friend, I thank you for your 
goodness ; but do not detain me : if you love 
me, you must overlook my vanity in this pur- 
suit. Well ! Mr. Provence, where are we 
in the story ?" " Not altogether at the end 
of the romance, my lord ; but very little is 
wanting to show you the state of affairs." 
" How then ?" " Yes, the fair one, or rather 
her circumstances, are against you ; for as to 
her, such an excess of cruelty could never 
have any residence in her soul ; you must 
sigh out at least two whole days com- 
plete ; and at the end of the third, your 
amorous martyrdom will receive the accus- 



130 A Fortnight's Ramhk. 

toraed relief." " Alas ! what can be the 
cause of this delay then ?" " Ah, my lord, 
admire a probity uncommon amongst her 
equals. She wishes to keep her oaths in- 
violate to sir Walter^ he is under a written 
lease with her ; which will only expire on 
Monday evening : this is Friday ; but she 
would by no means curtail one quarter of 
an hour in fulfilling her contract. Her lease 
will be at the expiration of the seventy-se- 
cond hour, reckoning from this moment ; 
but then, to an instant on the clock's strik- 
ing, you will, as a sultan, have the disposi-: 
tion of an obedient and humble Odalisk*.'* 
" Well !" replied I, " her unequalled prin- 
ciples of equity are worthy of imitation : 
when Caesar is paid, there is nothing to say." 
" Injustice bound! my lord, I must say that 
that girl is justice itself; moreover, on buy- 
ing her, you obtain an honest purchase, a 
case which does not always happen with 
other modes of acquirement. Therefore, at 
the crack of the post boy's lash, the love she 
had for him will fly away with the post 
horses. I would present her with a thou- 
sand guineas for the first week. The love 

* A woman kept in the seraglio for the sultan's pleasure. 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 131 

which my mission has siig-gested to her will 
take place ; when you supply her again for 
another eight days' provision, and so on, un- 
til another lover shall start b^^ similar means 
into her correspondence upon your relin- 
quishment of possession." The Doctor, 
with myself, could not refrain from laughing 
heartily. " That lad has wit," said he to 
me, "he is invaluable. But truly, I was 
unacquainted with his worth until now." — 
Provence made a bow, and from that instant 
they became friends. 

I asked from my adroit and ingenious 
servant, a circumstantial account of his 
proceedings in executing my message. — 
" This morning," said he, " my lord, I left 
you with your commands, more proud than 
Mercury in his visit to Danae in behalf 
of the master of heaven. Arrived at the 
place of my embassy, I thought it necessary 
first to try the principal ministers, before my 
approach to the sovereign ; I wished to as- 
certain who was her favourite ; at first I uni- 
formly courted Peggy and Sophia; and I 
observed that the latter had waited on ma- 
dam with her jelly broth, and was some time 
in returning. Oh! she is the favourite, said 
T to myself; they are at this moment con- 



'1'32 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

suiting each other about us. The confiden- 
tial waiting woman at last returned : her 
smiling and cheerful looks led me to think my- 
self welcomed. Without the least affected- 
ness, I took her side, in order to tell her I 
had something of moment to say to her 
madam, and would wait her pleasure. — 
* Truly, Mr. Provence, it is too early in the 
morning : I know not what to do ; my lady 
is yet in bed, I would wish very much to 
oblige you. But should it be a letter or a 
note ? I will take charge of the same, and 
hand it to her immediately.' " No, my child, 
my errand is to be done by word of mouth ; 
I expect to talk well enough to Miss • . • ., 
which will supersede the use of a letter. 
*Welir said she, *it will give it a more de- 
licate complexion, we have promises: but 
my mistress is very scrupulous in these mat- 
ters.' "Good! my love, we are rich, and 
well know how to give delightful ease and 
pleasure to fearful persons." * After all,* 
said she, * it will be necessary that [ should 
expose myself to be scolded for your untime- 
ly call ;' " but she nimbly stepped up to her 
chamber, and returned thus, with the pro- 
mise that I should be introduced to her 
presence in three minutes at furthest. — 



A For blights liamble. 13o 

"Miss," added the waiting woman, "only 
requires from you time enough to rise and 
dress, and has ordered me whilst you are in 
waiting* to serve you with breakfast." " At 
these words she led me to the buttery -, and 
with her pretty hand presented to your 
plenipotentiary the welcome wines, with 
some tine slices of excellent gammon ; six 
bumpers of burgundy very soon put into my 
head the brightest ideas, which made me 
shine at the audience afterwards obtained. 
" I respectfully stepped into the audience 
chamber, wherein the Sovereign, lying vo- 
luptuously extended on a sofa, gracefully 
nodded to me. " How fares my lord ?" said 
she ; " one cannot be more pleased than I 
am that he should be so kind as to entertain 
any thoughts about me, at so early an houK." 
" Madam," answered I, with an assumed 
good grace, " it is quite natural to think of 
you in the morning, but how much more ex- 
quisite to enjoy the reality of those thoughts 
with you in the evening." The princess 
laughed at my sally. *' Yon are very wit- 
ty," said she, smiling — " Has my lord stated 
this in your instructions ?" — " Madam, it is 
customary with him to give his orders in a 
short and clear style ; and 1 presume, like 

M 



134 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

liim, you are not fond to say more than ii* 
necessary. I come in his name to present 
to you both his purse and heart." — " My 
lord is very g^ood ; his offers are such as 
would captivate the prettiest of women ; I 
would accept of his agreeable proposal as it 
deserves, but I am really afraid from other 
engagements. It is, however, necessary 
that the messenger should not lose the object 
of his mission," added she. And here, my 
lord, she tendered to me the customary gra- 
tuity. " Madam," said I, respectfully bow- 
ing, " minor promises every day yield to 
those which are more profitable and plea- 
sant." — " Oh !" said she, " well, I will de- 
cide; but I think as my present contract 
will expire in only three days, there would 
be great absurdity in breaking it up rash- 
ly." " Then at least, madam, the treaty 
with my lord can be concluded, and I could, 
in the mean time, settle all the prelimina- 
ries." — " Very well," replied the fair one ; 
** but there is a trifling difficulty which 
arises; I am under a kind of promise to 
another — but, if I was to be advised by my 
fancy, my lord would be infinitely more plea- 
sant to me ; but in my situation it is difficult 
to be governed by my own inclination, and 



A ForinigMs Ramble. 135 

it becomes often dangerous to offend in cer- 
tain cases ! A stranger of liigh rank, and 
of considerable fortune, has ardently entreat- 
ed, solicited, and troubled me for favours 
that I have been under the necessity o1 
granting him, even more than bare hope ; 
and we have already begun to arrange a treaty 
upon the subject. If 1 should dismiss hin; 
M'ithout any kind of a reasonable pretext, he 
might raise a clamour against me— He is 
one of those kind of men who are to be 
feared." — " How then to be afraid ?" " Yes, 

truly." " What is it, a confederate one of 

the bar?" " Oh ! madam, these people are 
not to be dreaded, except you are apprehen- 
sive of manifestos : they have been obliged 
to give way before the Russians, and no 
doubt they will make room for England." 
" I know Great Britain's valuable desert and 
ascendency," answered she. " You are 
perfectly in the right, madam ; for this rea- 
son you ought to hold to it. I should pre- 
fer a bank note to twenty mortgages on all 
the Palatinate and Polish Republics." " 1 
know all the worth thereof," said she to me ; 
" it would not be such considerations that 
should decide my mind towards your young- 
master'— but rav affection for him." '' I am 



136 A FortniyMs Ramble. 

convinced of your judgment; but still it is 
necessary there should be some just motives 
to lead your opinions. And I may guaran- 
tee the completion of my embassy ; they are 
worth your consideration and ti'ouble."-— 
'' You are very engaging," answered she. 
" Well ! I will look to it ; but the two days 
succeeding this one, are irrevocably devoted 
to sir Walter." " The third one," said I, 
" will then belong to us ?" — " It must be as 
you say," answered she — " nothmg resists 
the solicitude of Great-Britain." I ardently 
wish I could relate to you, my lord, the be- 
witching laugh that accompanied this capi- 
tulation. Proud of having defeated the no- 
bility of Poland, and conquered the place in 
their front, I come to lay the keys at your 
feet," — If the beginning of Mr. Provence's 
report had pleased us, the end seemed no 
less diverting and agreeable. We imme- 
diately held a council, and a magnificent 
diamond knot was given to him forthwith to 
be presented to her, which closed his minis- 
terial toil. 

Two days of restlessness and anxiety pas- 
sed away, without reckoning the third one 
of tribulation. What uneasiness ! — But it 
was, however, necessary to fill up these te- 



A FortnigMs Ramble. 137 

dious hours. I a^ain consulted the Doctor 
on the matter. We were gravely debating 
on the subject, when the Chevalier • • • • was 
announced coming in on a visit. He con- 
versed an hour with us. Thougli I was still 
as dissipated as ever, it did not destroy my 
relish for a conversation, in which I was de- 
lighted with the charms of a man of w'li, 
and excellent heart. He purposed to intro- 
duce me to the Earl • • • • , his intimate 
friend, and to some of the first circle in 
Paris. The opportunity was most favour- 
able for my accepting of it, as it in no way 
disappointed me in my pleasures ; and the 
two days of leisure left me by Bliss •• • 's 
scrupulous fidelity to her promises, enabled 
me to take advantage of his offers j and 
though the physician expressed by his looks 
an aversion to my eagerness, yet I promised 
the Chevalier, that 1 would call in the even- 
ing at the Hotel • • • • . 

The Chevalier's visit ended — Esculapius 
said, " he feared much -that 1 would not be 
amused at the Earl's ; but after all, a few te- 
dious hours were soon transpired." He 
mentioned this to me with a voice, by which 
fear and sadness were perceivable through 
his seeming indifference, and with the conn- 
M 2 



1S8 A JFortniyMs liamble. 

tenance of a man, apprehensive that his prey 
was about to escape his grasp. He after- 
wards dined with me. The topic of con- 
versation turned on the prospect of happi- 
ness that awaited me after the third revolu- 
tion of the sun, 6 o'clock, overtook me. We 
then parted, and I went to the Hotel • • . • , 
where I found the Chevalier • • • • . 

My mind was unfit to relish the polished 
company 1 met there. It could not eng-age 
either my eyes or ears with any interest; be- 
cause I was unable to estimate the manners 
of those who composed it, when compared 
with the many follies and vices I had seen in 
the doubtful association wherein I had been 
famiharized until this day. Men possessing- 
real talents ; women much to be admired, 
were something new to me. But I was un- 
worthy to make one of their i^aviy ; their 
conversation kept me under the severest re- 
straint. However, I believe that my read- 
ers will not be displeased if I should give 
some of the most interesting part of their 
discussions. Though curtailed on account 
of my memory, it may form a contrast with 
the petty and unimportant things which I 
have entertained them with till now. 



A FortnujMs Ramble. 139 

To name the Earl • • • •, is to commend 
him. Oil that day the eloquent and inge- 
nious Colonel B • • • was a guest at his 
house, a member of the British Senate, who, 
during his stay in Paris, often resorts to this 
Hotel. We likewise met with the Earl 
C . • . • W • • • • , the Czarina's prime minis- 
ter ; the Prince of C • • • • . These men 
were more illustrious from their personal 
qualities than from their rank. This com- 
pany produced a centre of Hght, which fell in 
vain on eyes still shut, as mine were then. 
The Chevalier • • • • , my introducer, and the 
three friends I had seen at his house, seemed 
to be welcomed with as much friendship, as 
with that equitable consideration which emi- 
nent merit grants to those who are less dis- 
tinguished. 

Colonel B • • • • is never long in a compa- 
ny so worthy of him, without speaking on 
poHtical affairs. By instructing others, he 
always seeks to acquire for himself some use- 
ful knowledge, and for which he could find no 
better opportunity. Our colonies were then 
on their first movement against the meti'opo- 
lis. The first spark of that civil war, which 
much blood-shed Avill probably never extin- 
guish but in a manner fatal to England, had 



140 A FortnigMs Ramble. 

just been declared. They considered the 
sequel of that event; and casting a look on 
the consequences arising- from it, they in- 
quired what would be the interest of France 
and Spain, if the American subjects ever be- 
came independent ? Colonel B • • • • spoke 
to the purpose as became a speaker, who had 
acquired great facility in debate from his 
practice in the lower house. — " What does it 
signify to England which side the two 
powers, who are destitute of sea forces, 
might take in the quarrel she may have with 
her American subjects ? The vast bar- 
rier, the ocean, between the two hemis- 
pheres, secures her in spite of their attempts; 
she will maintain under her yoke that nume- 
rous people, far more subdued oa account 
of their wants on her government than from 
fear. The same vessels will be employed to 
scour and keep the sea coasts under sub- 
jection, and therefore the northern parts 
of tlie new world; this will subdue the rest- 
less character of our foes, and will either 
avert their attempts^ or else punish them for 
having dared to meddle with our quarrel." 
" I do justice to your real maritime supe- 
riority," the Earl • • • • replied ; " but by 
chance it might be fatal to the English, to 



A Fortniyht's Rcnuhle. 141 

confide so much as you give us to under- 
stand. I acknowledge neither France nor 
Spain have actually such a formidable sea 
force on hand ; but we have it, at least we have 
all the materials for building a large navy 
at a future day." " A future day," replied 
the Colonel, " a future day ! I speak of the 
time we live in." — " I should have thought," 
returned the Earl, " that the English had 
more foresight in their politics. In my hy- 
pothesis, which embraces the future, her se- 
curity would be fallacious ; with us it will 
even proceed, who have the climate, the soil, 
the sea, and men, from the resolution of one 
of these. May G — only grant us the same 
apt to appraise things well, he will find men 
enough to execute." " Mr. Count," an- 
swered the Colonel, *• it is on the same sup- 
position as yours, that I reason. We should 
be but little, or nothing in England, if we 
were to be kept at bay by relying ou gifts 
from above, and to have depended on that 
man only. We have thought proper to put 
no trust in the Phoenix ; still less was he 
made for us. We have left nothing to 
chance — We rely solely on our constitution 
and fleet, and we enjoy the benefits result- 
ing from the same. We laugh at yonr reck- 



142 A For I flight's Ramble. 

oning otherwise, and you waste away in ex- 
pectation. We exist through your errors, 
and our preponderance, we suppose, will be 
kept up until Heaven shall be pleased to 
send you your Saviour." " The Colonel so 
joking- shifts ofF a question of fact," said 
Bouillac ; " he handles us, Mr. Count, in the 
same manner as the king* does his master's 
party. What then ! M. B • • • • , you wish 
to make us believe for the sake of a man, 
only errors are expected in France." " O ! 
I am far from being in that way of think- 
ing," continued he laughing; *' we are 
wearied to act thus, and we have set up our 
minds to be wise. But as the first character 
of wisdom, is to look out for friends, far 
from troubling you, when you think proper 
to correct your ungrateful and rebellious 
children, we may help you, if necessary, to 
bring them to a sense of their duty." — 
" What do you mean by that ?" the Colonel 
interrupted, with warmth; " we have reason 
to think that your kind offices could never 
be admissible." " It appears to me at 
least," said Bouillac, " if we rightly under- 
stood our interests, we could, without scru- 
ple, countenance them as far as that." 
The company listened with surprise at 



AForlniyMs Ramble. 143 

Bouillac's inexplicable paradox. The Earl 
• • • • charged hi in with being* inconsistent 
in his mode of thinking, and fear lest he 
should proceed too far, induced him modest- 
ly to listen attentively to all the objections 
made on all sides. 

The conversation became more universal, 
and took another course. The Count C • • • • 
W • • • • entertained us much, vi^ith many in- 
teresting particulars relative to his country, 
(Russia.) His ideas were grand, and ex- 
pressed in a manner both simple and clear. 
He was an instance of the general rule that 
governed the conduct of the princess to 
whom he was subject, that her confidence is 
only bestowed on great men. To many 
other particulars on politics, followed those 
on war. The Earl • • . • , and the Cheva- 
lier • • • • , spoke with becoming eloquence. 
After a few hours thus devoted to diversified 
conversation, and notwithstanding my agi- 
tation of love's delay, I derived a great deal 
of unexpected pleasure. The Earl • • • • , 
with his friend the Chevalier, accompanied 
me home. The Chevalier • • • congratu- 
lated me on my attention to all that had been 
said at the Count • • • • 's. With politeness 
he advised me to accept of his young friend 



144 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 



as my guide, if I wished to know any thing 
concerning the state of the arts in France ; 
these services were tendered to me with the 
eagerness of friendship. The bad character 
which I was informed by the Doctor that he 
possessed, could not repress the resolution to 
accept of the very kind proposition made. 
In spite of the grief which the Doctor would 
naturally feel on my forming such a con- 
nexion, it was fully concluded that I should 
become a pupil to my new teacher early the 
next morning. 




( 145 ) 



EIGHTH DAY. 



Pictures ; composition of an eminent painter ; 
keen moral reflections ; French play ; i?e-* 
flections on Skakspeare and Moliere. 

Early in the morning Boiiillac came to 
arouse my laziness ; at ten o'clock, we step- 
ped out : " it is with a great deal of plea- 
sure, my Lord," said he, " to see a young 
Englishman of your rank study, as you do, 
the knowledge of men and the sciences. 1 
shall have no less satisfaction to accompany 
you through the city. The ostentation and 
wealth of some individuals have brought in- 
to their hands many a master-piece of paint- 
ing ; it will be necessary that we should 
visit these repositories of art. Luckily I am 
acquainted with a few of them ; and we will 
lose no time, as we have many places to 
examine. Let us to-day view the paintings, 
and we will devote some other morning to 
sculpture." Whilst Bouillac was thus re- 

N 



146 A Fortnight! s Ramble. 

gulating our time, the Doctor made his ap- 
pearance as we were turning the corner of 
a street. I saw him change colour, from 
his consternation, and draw back with dread 
at the sight of my companion. His move- 
ment put me in mind of every thing he had 
said about the chevalier. I was in conse- 
quence much grieved, not to have adroitly 
shunned the kind of connexion which that 
day was about to establish between us, and I 
formed the resolution dexterously to break 
it off as soon as possible. 

In three hours time we had seen a great 
many things. We then went to the Royal 
Academy of Painting. Bouillac caused me 
to observe the decline of that art, by the 
manner in which the present artists proceed- 
ed. " There is," added he, " but one single 
man in our days, who has preserved a spark 
of the true genius which animated some of 
his predecessors. Envy, with its attendants, 
has hissed at one of his pieces; he had 
painted it in order to rank amongst the ad- 
mitted pictures you see here. The incensed 
self-love of that able painter, caused him to 
renounce at once the society of rivals whom 
he thought incayiable and unworthy to rank 
with him. He adds to great talents some of 



.4 Fortnight's Ramhle. 147 

those original defects which too often accom- 
pany genius; but the superiority of his 
pencil has pleased me, and I could not deny 
him my esteem, on account of the plain- 
ness and honesty of his soul. I have paid 
but little attention to his wandering pride; 
but from the jealousy of his competitors, they 
use their utmost endeavours to depreciate his 
talents by exposing this workman's personal 
weaknesses, whilst at the sume time they 
turn pale at the sight of his works. Every 
species of painting has been almost ex- 
hausted — fevi^ mattei's arc there of mytholo- 
gy and history, which have not been handled 
repeatedly by the most able hands : with 
respect to landscape, Greuse wished to cre- 
ate a new manner of painting' ; and no one 
before him had drawn the pure and simple 
moral; his imagination made him fancv 
that one could draw fiom it an unknown 
species of pictures. Thus he is become the 
first dramatic painter, that is to say, one who 
exhibits human Hfe, and takes his represen- 
tation from the vices or virtues of the com- 
mon practical moral order." Bouillac led 
me to the artist's on whom he made this 
panegyric. We found him in his work- 
house; the first picture he showed me 



1.48 A FortnigMs Ramble. 

equally excelled as respects the design, ex- 
pression, and colouring. It represented a 
most moving scene j beauty and virtue ex- 
pressed on the countenance of a woman, 
whose drapery bespoke her birth, giving the 
first lessons of humanity and goodness to a 
young child, who also seemed to be of a 
rank, wherein wealth and pride may corrupt 
the understanding. The performance hap- 
pened to be in a gloomy and poor garret 
room ', in another picture we saw on a small 
bed a respectable old. man 3 he seemed to 
oppose poverty with a calm but serene con- 
fidence, exhausted with diseases, which 
were the consequence thereof, without blush- 
ing; but with a plain expression of noble gra- 
titude, he received the .shifts of sympathetic 
and upright charity. At his side was his 
nged and suffering w^ife, who displayed in 
lier face, and from the whole of her posture, 
an emotion of a more lively, but less reflect- 
ed, thankfulness — a son with tattered clothes, 
and too young to help them, leaned languish- 
ingly on the bolster of the bed, wherein his 
parents were seen bearing the image of the 
most unsufferable and undeserved wretched- 
ness. Opposite this groupe, was the chari- 
table lady, who came to teach her child what 



A FortnigMs Ramhk. 149 

it was to help the unfortunate. Her figure 
was noble ; her look affected and moved 
with pity. The child, brought up in opu- 
lence, seemed to withdraw with horror at the 
frightful picture of poverty, which was, for 
the first time, presented to his sight. The 
good mother strengthened his repugnancy ; 
she seemed to say to him, " My daughter, 
what has that old man done not to have been 
born to opulence as we are ? Nature has 
made him our equal, and virtue places him 
above us." An Hospitale nun, Avho was 
seen at the further end of the picture, made 
a happy contrast to all this warmth of ex- 
pression, by her indifferent and cold look, 
which the habit of being familiar with mise- 
ry, gives to persons whose professions in life 
keep them distant from society. With such 
fortunate and true notions, in so striking a 
representation, the artist had combined all 
the magic and meaning of each distinct part 
of his art. Bouillac bestowed on him the 
most flattering praise. His glowing imagi- 
nation inflamed that of the painter, and the 
genius of enthusiasm seized him. — " Yes, 
gentlemen," cried he aloud, "I will devote 
my colours and pencil to the purpose of ren- 
denng men better, which resolution I really 
N 2 



150 A ForlniyMs Ramble. 

believe will be more instructive, than paint- 
ing outrageous scenes from antiquity, and 
which are generally immortalized on account 
of their illustrious profligacy. I am busy on 
a subject which happens too often. I wish 
to show to mihappy women, whose mutual 
example does not deter them from ill con- 
duct, the catastrophe that must await them af- 
ter a few short years of false glare and show. 
" See, my lord," continued he, leading me 
towards an easel on which was a picture ; 
"look at this crafty and brazen faced old wo- 
man, whose profession is to corrupt incau- 
tious youth and simple innocence, through 
the allurements of gold and trinkets. This 
hideous shrew works on senses, easy to be 
imposed upon, in order to infuse into the 
bosom of innocence the venom of debau- 
chery and vanity. Look at seduction on 
the forehead of that corrupted financier, ap- 
plauding itself on the issue of its artifices. 
For a long time I had given up all hopes 
even to be able to describe the physiognomy 
of this unworthy emissary, which combines 
all the traits of meanness, greediness, coun- 
terfeit kindness, loose audaciousness, fraud? 
and lewdness. I should not have succeed- 
ed, if I had not found a model — This head 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 151 

was drawn from life." The more minute the 
painter was in describing the particulars of 
his composition, the more my eyes were busy 
in detecting all the traits of characters which 
he wished me to discover in his pictures. 
What was my surprise when my memory led 
me to trace out the features of Mama • • • • , 
in the old mediatrix ! I reddened at the 
sight. The artist observed it, but was mis- 
taken as to the cause of my colouring.— 
" You are irritated, my lord," said he, 
" which to me is the most flattering proof of 
my success; this head is the one in which I 
have painted tlie deformities of her most 
hideous and iniquitous heart. See," con- 
tinued he, " the fearful and wavering victim 
of her debauching art. However, she hesi- 
tates and trembles ; the snare led to secure 
her vanity alarms her chastity ; but as she 
listens, she is thereby taking her first step 
towards a disorderly life. Here are portray- 
ed in a second picture the consequences of 
her delusive seduction into the career of vice. 
It represents the young person, divested of 
all that winning innocence which once beau- 
tified her; she is surrounded with gaudy 
show and apparent riches ; <;arelessly 
stretched on down and silk, she forgets that 



152 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

labour and industry would have secured to 
her an honourable subsistence in a happy 
mediocrity. In the midst of all these enjoy- 
ments,] she loses that precious temperance 
of regarding the first of riches, virtue. An 
Angola* tears in pieces at her feet the pre- 
cious ornament, which the profusion of her 
adorers soon replaces; she smiles at her 
monkey, who amuses himself by throwing 
pieces of gold out of her window, which 
false love had lavished on her. — A two-fold 
emblem of the shameful and ungrateful love 
which a courtesan too often bestows on an 
obscure animal, verifying the old saying, 
that lightly come, lightly goes," &c. If the 
likeness of the old D- • • • had given to me 
some emotion, the allegory of the monkey 
increased it, when calling to memory the 
detestable M. Fragment ; and no doubt the 
Impression of it was still visible in my face. 
" My lord," said Bouillac, " the pathetic 
sermons which M. Greuse so well knows 
how to display on canvas, should have caused 
a change in your features, if you stood in 
need of their application ; but he must have 
been delighted with the generous indigna- 



* A native of Angola, a kingcjora oa the coast of Africa ; or 
an 111 shaped man. 



^4 FortnighCs llmnhte. lo3 

lion which your looks expressed." Bouil- 
lac's observation put me altogether out of 
countenance \ happily, at that critical instant, 
the painter led us towards other pictures. 
One of thera showed the Courtesan moving 
in the third period of her career — She was 
no more glittering with gold, nor surround- 
ed with a deceitful superfluity ; all her vain 
magnificence had fled with her frail charms. 
The first wrinkle seen to wither on her fore- 
head the bloom of youth, had given the sig- 
nal to fickle and perfidious adorers, for their 
ungrateful desertion of her — All of them, 
even her Angola and Monkey, had forsaken 
her. The humble beauty, now a resident 
of a modest apartment, with an humble and 
penitent look, tendering but common enjoy- 
ments to a surly old man, who seemed to 
view with indifterence what remained of her 
alluring charms. 

In the fourth picture, that unfortunate, 
through cold and want, ignominy and pain, 
is seen breathing her last. The pale, weak, 
and glimmering lamp, spread a soirowful 
gloom on the scene of her sufierings ; re- 
morseless sorrow and writhing in despair, 
were strongly expressed in her dying looks. 
Thus has she yielded under the weight of 



1 54 A For^tnigMs Ramble. 

poverty, in an early old age, produced by 
excesses in vice. The painter spoke of all 
the particulars with the same warmth as 
heretofore, and Bouillac made a moral speech 
in each of his apologues, at which I was dis- 
pleased with myself. At length we took 
our leave, after having, as well as it comport- 
ed with my situation, expressed my admira- 
tion to the artist. My companion seemed to 
guess at the many crisis which my soul ex- 
perienced ; however he did not utter a word 
on the matter, but continued to introduce 
into our conversation appropriate things, in 
order to move my heart to a love of virtue; 
and, though he had not said any thing direct, 
and had even avoided the appearance of any 
personal application, yet I looked on him 
as a bitter and ill-timed Censor. I took care 
not to reveal any suspicion, as I had no 
doubt that his character was governed by 
the prejudices which the Doctor had sug- 
gested to me. Convinced as I was, that his 
apparent practice in life was in perfect op- 
position to his moral principles, I ought to 
have been in no way susceptible of these im- 
pressions, but otherwise. However, our 
conversation turned on other points, in which 
he became both cheerful and diverting. 



A Fortnight's Ramble. lou 

111 the evening" Bouillac intended wc 
should amuse ourselves at the French 
Theatre. " My lord," said he, " that is 
the theatre to which strangers ought to resort; 
it is the one wherein the French tongue is 
spoken in its greatest perfection, and where 
is also seen much of the national character. 
You may be benefited by the one, and 
pleased with the other." This serious in- 
citement of preference towards the Fi"ench 
Treatre, was not then the motive to deter- 
mine my choice— But I was aware of that 
man's ascendency over me; I could not 
bear him, a« I had the worst opinion of him ; 
for the Doctor had persuaded me that he 
only clothed himself with the mask of mo- 
rality and candour, which bore so close a re- 
semblance to truth, that at some moments it 
domineered over me with that power, which 
true esteem only grants to virtue. I was in- 
duced to accompany him wherever he was 
pleased to conduct me. 

The theatrical exhibition of that evening' 
was the tragedy of Phcedras. I should not 
have enjoyed Uie beauties of the piece, if 
my guide had not interested my mind, by 
giving me some idea of the play, and en- 
deavouring at each scene to explain to me 



156 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

the particulars — by this means he gave me 
the opportunity of enjoying the sublime and 
pathetic acting of a very aged actress,* 
whose talents seemed to me to be of the same 
true and decided cast as those of our cele- 
brated Garrick. 

After the tragedy was over, Bouillac con- 
versed with me on the essential difference of 
the dramatic art in France and England. 
He also gave me the analysis of Moliere's 
famous piece, The Precise and Ridiculous 
Woman, which was to be played for the 
after piece, and handing me the book, 
advised me, on reading it, to follow the per- 
formers through their declamation. I had 
read with studious care many of the French 
plays, and from the knowledge of our dra- 
matic writers, was sufficiently capable of 
applying with exactness many of the obser- 
vations which he made. Besides, my own 
feelings being in some degree similar, en- 
abled me to compare the merits of different 
authors. Racine had but little that excited 
my attention ; while Moli^re raised my 
laughter. Through al I this, I found that the 
actors of this theatre composed the most in- 

* Diigazon. 



A Fortnight's llamhk. J 57 

leresting company of talents in Paris. I lefl 
it, having been well diverted with the Count 
lodelet,* and the Marquis Mascarille ; and 
in spite of my dear physician's insinuations, 
I found myself in humour to become bold in 
the resolution to be pleased with Bouillac's 
company, and to discover, if possible, from 
experience, whether or not I was imposed 
on by his account ; but the Doctor came in 
time enough to prolong the illusion ; he ap- 
peared at the very moment when Bouillac 
took his leave. 

" Well! my lord," said the Doctor, "your 
complaisance and consideration towards the 
Chevalier • • • •, has made you quite weary ,* 
you must have been obliged to bear the pe- 
dantry of his oracle. If he was but a pe- 
dant, it would be even disgusting to put up 
with; but he is wicked,*' added he, with 
great agitation ; " and besides, he bears an 
old grudge against me, the cause of which 
I know not; and surely he has not lost the 
opportunity to picture me to you in odious 
colours." In replying, I solemnly protested 
" that he had not uttered a word concerning 
your character. He was too busy, and kept 

* A Merry Andrew. 
O 



158 A FortnisMs Ramble. 



me too much engaged to admit of any op- 
portunity for indulging' himself with any dis- 
play of the animosity with which you charge 
him. I shall never love that man, my dear 
Doctor, because you have warned me that he 
possesses a base perverseness of character, 
being the more hateful, as it is so completely 
disguised. But I cannot help lamenting the 
loss of such fine qualities." — " I expect that 
my lord can have no doubt of my sincerity. 
I have been sensible how dangerous he Mas, 
as a companion, which has been the cause 
of my eagerness to make you acquainted 
therewith." I persuaded the Doctor that I 
would for the future carefully keep away 
from him. " Do you not find," added he, 
" that he has nothing affirmative about him ; 
and in all he does, that he exposes a warmth 
and energy which very soon causes his com- 
pany to become intolerable ?" " But no," 
said I to him in an unaffected manner. — 
** He must then have exquisitely dissembled ! 
after all, you will not be long without 
making the discovery of his art, if you ex- 
pose yourself to see him again. May you 
never make a more unlucky one at your ex- 
pense ! Pardon my zeal ; I should in no in- 
stance epxlain myself so freely to any other 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 109 

person.'^ I persuaded the dear Doctor, that 
I oepended so much on him, that after the 
communication he had so generously given 
of Bouillac, I should in future only ob- 
serve a common-place civility towards him, 
and that only on account of my gratitude to 
the friend who had introduced me to him. 
Satisfied with that assurance, the Doctor 
spoke afterwards with his accustomed ease 
of manner, when he introduced the name of 
the fair ...., which made us lose sight 
of Bouillac; and insensibly, while speak- 
ing about this fair and interesting subject, 
recovered all our gayety and spirits. The 
Doctor remained with me until two o'clock 
in the morning; the whole time of which 
was spent in praising my fancy and tastc^ 
with the view of erasing the impressions he 
suspected to have been so lately made. He 
had surely every advantage ; as I was im- 
mersed in vice and folly, the reflection of 
virtue hardly ever touched me. But [ 
could not conceive how it was possible that 
Bouillac should have succeeded in giving* 
such uninterrupted amusement and instruc- 
tion for the twelve hours' time that I had 
been with him. I made up my mind to 



i,GO A FortiiighCs Ramble. 

render the following' day more agreeable to 
my mind. 

The Doctor also promised his assistance 
and co-operalion, and wished me u good 
uisht. 



( J6i ) 



NINTH DAY 



A new acquaintance ; horse race. Mectbhy 
of a strange character. 

The Doctor came in early to awake me ; 
riiy getting out so sooti the jorececling- day 
was with him a powerful motive for the in- 
crease of his attention to guard me from too 
close an intimacy with Bouillac. " Come, 
up with you," said he to me ; " whilst you 
are prolonging your sleep at this late hour 
of the morning, half of the people of Paris 
are gathering in Sablon's plain. In two 
liours time the whole will be there. They 
are drawn thither on account of a public ex- 
hibition entirely new to them. One of those 
who are to partake of the honours or risks of 
the day, will be shortly at your door. He 
has asked me, to be introduced to you, my 
lord." 1 was equally ignorant what inter- 
esting novelty could cause the inhabitants of 
Pans to run to the Sablon's plain, and who 
o 2 



162 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

was the man who wished for an interview 
with me. The Doctor informed me that, 
for the first time in Paris, there was to be a 
horse-race, and that the bets were opened. 
At the same instant a person was announced, 
who wished to speak to the Doctor. Who 
is it? said he : it is him, answered my valet 
de chambre, the gentleman who lives over 
the way. The Doctor went to welcome 
him, and returned, saying, " my lord, here 
iS one of your most amiable countrymen. 
He has been very much dissatisfied at hav- 
ing remained in the same house for several 
days without having sought your acquain- 
tance ; M. Fickle." — At that name, all my 
ideas were quickened ; three things having 
rendered him notorious ; prodigality with 
the most ridiculous ostentation, the most 
desperate madness for gambling, and that 
kind of celebrity, which a hot-headed man 
may take advantage of 3 five or six notable 
duels on his list of fame, doubtful proofs of 
the courage of which three fourths of man- 
kind know little oi* nothing of its real nature, 
but which may be called the sanguinary pas- 
sion of revenge, or insensible ferocity. — 
F • • • • wished to give a ncAv set ofi* to the 
part he acted in Paris, by enlarging on ^11 



A FortniyhCs Ramble. 163 

the momentary extravagancies, which were 
made fashionable by some of the petty gen- 
try y he was an able jockey and a great bet- 
ter : it was the madness of the day, and 
truly he exceeded every one, for he held 
two thousand guineas against the duke D. 
B. P. 

" How does my lord intend to go to the 
race ?" said he. "I shall go in a coach," 
answered I. " In a coach ! tie, then, my 
lord," replied the courteous Doctor, "to- 
day's fashion is to be on horse back ; it does 
not become a person of your rank to show 
himself otherwise on the plain. 1 have pro- 
vided for that. M. F • • • • has been kind 
enough to promise me one of his tine hun- 
ters which he has in his stable." To this 
F* • • •, with a sign, approved of the Doc- 
tor's offer, and made a low bow. I thank- 
ed him ', but casting a look at the Doctor, I 
perceived, like one of our jockeys, he had 
boots and spurs on. " Your foresight, my 
dear Doctor, pleases me intinitely, and M. 
F««-''s politeness deserves my sincere 
thanks. But 1 cannot be induced to de- 
prive you of a pleasure which you had an in- 
tention of enjoying yourself." " INot at all, 
my lord j every thing' is settled before hand,'^ 



164 A FortnigMs Ramble. 

he answered, with a|*look of satisfaction/ 
" I shall have the honour to accompany you ; 
and two of your servants on horse back, 
may even attend us." ** Truly," said I, " it 
must be granted that the Doctor is a most 
necessary man : and no one is more amiable 
and more obliging." I was soon ready. 
Our cavalcade arrived at the race-ground, 
where, in fact, an incredible crowd had as- 
sembled before us. The young Princess 
who is this day on the throne of France, and 
«vho shares the people's love, in common 
with the king, honoured with their august 
presence this new public scene, 

F- • • • had mentioned to me in the way 
of trade, if I wished to take any share in hik» 
bet, he was willing to let me have what inte- 
rest I would like. I had always been warn- 
ed against those species of bets. Each of 
the party concerned, grounds his confidence 
on the steed which is to enter the lists ; one 
thinks to be sure of his skill, and though 
they are not aware of the deed, one does not 
pay enough attention to the fidelity of the 
man, who ought not to be more trusted than 
the horse's swiftness. (>ite is the whole time 
in the power of the mercenary temper of 
the groomsman who rides, I should have 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 165 

more coniiclence in the chances of dice or 
cards. I never gambled but through pride. 
If I had been led to it by coveteousuess, I 
should have adopted that principle for reck- 
oning. I refused M. F- • • -'s offer. — The 
Doctor, as an able man, had to use another 
mode to bring me to. " My lord," said he, 
" you cannot with propriety avoid holding 
something at stake in this business. The 
French have introduced horse-racing from 
us, and they expect in a short time to excel 
us on the turf. ' In your country, it is ren- 
dered praiseworthy by the individual taste 
and emulation which it. excites ; and for the 
same, it is even so through the attentive sup- 
port given to it by government. You must 
countenance the cause. I dare be answer- 
able to you for the result of this day's fame, 
and of the real advantage M. F- ♦ • • offers 
to you by going half with him. I am by no 
means in a situation to hazard much, but 
have made a pretty high bet for amusement. 
I look on this as a patriotic business. I have 
a strong impulse for pre-eminences, even iu 
the character of our horses." I laughed a 
great deal at the Doctor's warmth and 
zeal." " If it is necessary," continued he, 
*' to give you an example to encourage yoo. 



166 A ForinigMs Ramble. 

I will only mention to you, that a pretty wo- 
man has expressed more warmth than you 
have for so good a cause/' " Who is," 
said T, " this female patriot?" — " Precisely 
the one whose good sense assigns the myrtle 
crown to the English." I laughed still 
more heartily ; and in a fit of good humour 
the physician had inspired me with, I took 
a fourth of M. F« • • -'s enormous bet. On 
his hypological sagacity, if I may be allowed 
the expression, I ftmcied that Pompy's 
famous horse would return with the Olym- 
pic palm, and thought I was already pocket- 
ing my five hundred louis d'or. 

In thus speaking, we surveyed between 
two files of carriages, and the people who 
stood on both sides, the course which the 
rival steeds were to tarn over. Twenty 
rakes of quality, turned English jockies, ac- 
cording to the day's dress, were forward in 
mentioning to me their hopes or their fears. 
My bet was pretty high, and 1 appeared to 
all to have high pretensions. Getting away 
from them, I felt infinitely more confidence 
in drawing near to the superb coach where- 
in was the brilliant Miss • • • • . In listening 
to the Doctor's giving her an account of 
the little chance I ran from her example, I 



A Fortnight's Ramble, 167 

received a look of sufficiency and foppery 
equal to that of my partner. 

A general shouting was raised on a sud- 
den. I was looking to discover the cause, 
and perceived it was a saucy Parodis j* who 
to the caracoles of two thousand horsemen, 
who proudly paraded in that amphitheatre, 
opposed the kickings of a very small she ass, 
whom he plagued with all his strength; lean- 
ing himself forward and spreading his arms 
in the attitude of wings, he imitated all the 
glittering equerries who surrounded him, by 
bawling out with all his might to make room. 
This sight, both comical and moral at the 
same time, seemed to put out of counte- 
nance a host of proud strutters. The 
Equerry, to whom the she ass belonged, 
caused the ranks to be opened before him, 
and the ass shined at the horses' expense. 

Soon after the two race horses who were 
to contend aboutthe victory, were taken from 
their cases, and exposed to the view of 
the multitude. Hector and the Invincible 
Achilles, under the walls of famous Per- 
ganies, did not excite more fear or hope. 
Grecians and Dardonians encouraged the 

" A Copvsf. 



168 A Fortnights Ramble. 

champions, and called upon the gods. I 
observed the four footed beast Hero, on 
whom my chance was confined. I thought 
but little of him in comparison with the 
other ; and I had the grief to hear now and 
then, all the voices together, in a common 
accord, foretel his rival's victory. F- • • • 
himself had no more the same boldness. In 
viewing the light and vigorous steed they 
opposed to us, his pensive countenance and 
downcast look, proclaimed what he already 
thought of the chasm which fifteen hundred 
louis would make in his finances. As great 
as that loss was, it troubled him still less than 
that of the loss of his reputation as a con- 
noisseur. As he is replete with vanity, there 
was, however, another way left to comfort 
him ; the noise and splendour of such stately 
extravagance. As respected myself, being 
less vain than him, I had then a prelty strong 
dose of that weakness, to be but little affect- 
ed at the consideration of losing my stake. 
It was necessary to put on a good face, 
and we succeeded in so doing, in spite of 
our apprehensions. The two horses start- 
ed — during the first round, hope revived us 
a little ; at the second, fear came on anew ; 
before the half of the third, our fate was de- 



A ForlnigMs Ramble. 169 

cided ', the superannuated Pegassus, who 
bore our fortune, was out of breath and tired, 
had neither legs, nor wind. As I have 
said, pride strengthened F* • • • against so 
great a mischance. I returned home with 
the Doctor, (in order to pay off my share of 
the loss,) who blamed my want of ingenuity 
in not having saved myself, like him, by 
taking a bet on the contrary side. 



170 



TENTH DAY 



Jt is necessary for one never to reckon with- 
out his Host. 

At length the happy day shinec^. My 
unquiet love had gone through tw^^ ^es 
with those that preceded it — the adorable 
Doctor was dihgent. " Victory !" said he 
to me, coming in -, " Sir Walter is packed 
up; the instant I am speaking to you, he 
moves swiftly towards Calais — the fortunate 
hour draws near ; the myrtle crown is ready 
at hand. The altar and the victin await 
you." Such was his text; no doubt the 
reader must have already known enough of 
his character, to guess about the comment 
he added to it. I shall rapidly go over a 
few events of little consequence, which hap- 
pened that day. I shall not picture the im- 
patience one may suspect I was no stranger 
to, in order quickly to arrive at the moment. 



A FoTtnigMs Ramble. 171 

the yielding minute was cruelly put off, and 
my eagerness stayed in the way, by one of 
those ronnd-about tricks belonging to the 
profession, though in every respect a com- 
mon thing, one is not the less imposed upon 
every day. 

The Royal Academy of Music had end- 
ed its noise. I brought back Miss • • • • 
home. Champain, her coachman, made me 
fly triumphantly by the light of two flam- 
beaus, held by Heyduques,* who were be- 
hind '^e coach, from the opera to the adja- 
cc.. arts of Montmartre-street. A thousand 
jealous and speechless adorers, who had seen 
me bringing back my conquest, envied my 
fate ; my vanity had been completely satiat- 
ed, and I expected my love to be soon satis- 
fied* In coming into Miss • • • -'s house, I 
found in it that aijreeable and movino- solici- 
tude which foretels an immediate victory 
over a prudent mistress. My rival had dis- 
appeared — everything seemed to agree with 
my triumph. Probably the cousin was also 
busy in giving pleasure to some one. We 
supped alone. It was impossible for my pa- 

* An Hongarian soldier, or seryants dressed like Hongririan 
soldiers. 



172 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

tience to adhere any longer to the pleasures 
of the table ; therefore I pressed on the in- 
stant to leave it — Unluckily for me, I had 
committed an unpardonable fault. Having 
been taken up the preceding days with my 
only desire, I had forgotten the conditions 
on which the fair one was to dispose of a 
week's time of hes fine life for my indul- 
gence. The active and provident Provence 
must surely have had his uneasiness also ; for 
he had no more foresight than myself. — 
Though the violence of my passion should 
have suffered me to reflect, I should have 
thought that after the preliminary of sending 
her a diamond knot, that my bond should 
prove equal in value to an effective receipt. 
How can it be thought, that that amiable 
and flattering god, love, is at best but a pi- 
rate, who admits of no ransom whatever 
but cash in hand ? All that I tried, could 
not insinuate to my goddess a spark of re- 
turn for my love ; sad and chilled, she very 
nigh pushed me away — she gave a few 
sighs which were neither those from emo^ 
tion of tenderness, nor of pleasure. J was 
dismayed and confounded — with a timid 
voice, I took upon myself to ask her what 
sudden and unexpected cause could have 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 173 

taken away from her that bewitching mirth 
which she always showed at the opera. — 
" Nothing," said she to me, with an insigni- 
ficant look. I endeavoured to warm her 
soul, by expressing with warmth my fond 
ecstacy of love. Cold and immoveable, she 
listened to them with cool indifference -, 
every moment increased my confusion and 
grief. I begged, urged, and earnestly en- 
treated i nothing could remove the cloud 
that was between me and the completion of 
my supreme happiness. I could not perceive 
in her looks any favourable presage. " My 
lord," said the fair one, observing my sad- 
ness, " you do not love me — why pretend 
raptures your heart cannot feel ?" I replied 
with most solemn and fervent oaths. " To 
what purpose," said she, " those frivolous 
pledges ? Everyday they are lavished upon 
us, and, in the mean time, all advantages 
are taken to seize upon the first oppor- 
tunity to break off from their foolish protes- 
tations. Ah ! my lord, \ou may be very 
amiable; but Sir Walter loved me truly. 
In spite of the impressions which the sight 
of you has made on me, I cannot avoid ut- 
tering the reflection, but he is the cause. If 
P 2 



1 74 A Fortniyht's Ramble. 

you knew with what openness and sincerity 
he acted ! Thpugh you have been in Paris 
but a few days, you seeru to me quite 
Frenchified ; I dread that disposition !" — 
" How," said I to her, " Frenchified?" 
" Yes, replete with accomplishments like 
them, you may possibly think that the charms 
of your person are an ample compliment 
for a woman's condescension, yielded to 
your happiness. Your person is charm- 
ing, and in justice bound you could in- 
dulge yourself in this way far more than 
those gentlemen ; but experience has taught 
me to prefer the real solid dealings witk 
your countrymen, to all the charms of 
nature and art that could otherwise be 
spread before me." I did not sufficiently 
understand Miss • • • • ; therefore I was 
exhausting myself with useless persuasion ; 
of course I did not seize upon the main 
* point. The fair one's temper was entirely 
uncontrollable at not being better under- 
stood. She gave a pretext to go out, and 
left me with Sophia, who came in at the 
same time, and to whom she had probably: 
referred the case, the more effectually to in- 
struct my youthful simplicity. 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 175 

The favourite chamber woman, without 
much ado, iuformed me about the secret 
scruples of her mistress which I did not un- 
derstand. " Do you wish 1 should speak 
to you plainly, my lord?" said she to me j 
" Miss is a cautious and steady girl -, expe- 
rience has suggested to her a sense of pro- 
yident care j every one here, knows how 
you have acted with Miss • • ♦ • ; and we 
surely may, without paying any compliments 
to ourselves, uphold our dignity at a rate of 
estimation as that lady has done : our ho- 
nour is even at stake in so doing. My mis- 
tress has no mother to settle her interests ; 
my belief is from what I foresee, that your 
articles which were agreed to, have not 
been fulfilled. As my mistress keeps to her 
word, she is always scrupulous when any 
one fails in their contract with her." " But," 
answered I quickly, "I have only waited 
for the moment of sir Walter's departure j 
and Provence," — " Ah ! my lord, Provence 
has forgotten the main thing ; he had spoke 
to madam about the second trip, which 
would have removed every difficulty." 
These words were a sure hint, and enlight- 
ened me at once concerning the tender 
scruples of Miss • • • .. I still retained in 



176 A FortnighCs Ramble. 

my pocket-book the cure ; in seeking for it, 
I was frightened to see how much it had 
lost of its weight and substance. Though 
my character has never shown any disposi- 
tion influenced by motives of interest, neither 
has my pocket-book ever given me cause 
to waver in the accomplishment of my 
wishes; I really believe, if I had not 
thought of the title of my treasures in Spain, 
on which I had mortgaged the indemnity 
of all my foolish liberalities, I should have 
closed up my purse, without having the 
courage to draw from it the antidote against 
the scruples of my new mistress. My 
finances were so low, that in two or three 
ordinances of this kind, I should have 
been at the end of all the receipts which 
brings to light the love of the green-room 
armides. 

The waiting woman, without losing time, 
ran with joy to make amends for my in- 
attention. The mistress soon after appear- 
ed. — What metamorphosis J Her forehead 
was serene and radiant ; her looks all ten- 
derness, and her complaisance excessive. 
Nevertheless, my happiness was further to 
be delayed until the next day ; my softened 
divinity with much regret alleging fit rea- 



A FortniyMs Rarnhk} 177 

sons to be respected. Compelled to yield 
to her delicacy, I felt my desires stirring 
within ; but the only alternative left, was to 
submit. " 



( 178 ) 



ELEVENTH DAY. 



-4 new piece of folly. Hope deceived. 

Privation irritated my passion. I had 
been so near to happiness, that 1 thought to 
have had full enjoyment the first the-a-ihte! 
but it escaped me, as the water from Tanta- 
lus' lips. I passed a very restless night, and 
awaking in the morning, my mind was so 
disordered, that, in order to obtain a quick 
and infallible victory, " I was determined 
upon an addition of liberalities with which 
the fair one should by no means give me 
further resistance. At that instant I sent for 
a toyman. One of my servants, who pro- 
bably suspected the destination of the pur- 
chase intended, offered to bring M. Light- 
fingered, of whom I approved. He came 
in a few minutes, and exposed about a 
dozen of dazzling jewel boxes. 

I was in suspence as to a proper choice ; 
when the Doctor came in apropos, ^ de- 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 179 

cided the point. " My lord," said the mer- 
chant, " I have, however, something of mo- 
ment ; it is beautiful, and you shall have it 
at a reduced price." He then drew from his 
pocket a necklace which we all admired; 
to it, he annexed the modest price of twelve 
thousand livres — " Truly," continued he, 
" it is not half of its real worth." My 
friend, the Doctor, affected to example the 
jewel with the scrupulous attention of a 
connoisseur, and gave a lecture on the beau- 
ties of every beazel, saying, " one must 
grant that it is not a dear article." Five 
hundred louis to take out from my pocket- 
book, began to perplex me ; I could not, 
however, withstand the wish of signalizing 
myself on that momentous occasion. I took 
the Doctor aside in order to impart to him 
my embarrassment. " Good, good," cried 
he aloud, " it is a mere trifle; that must net 
hinder you, my lord ; M. Lightfingered is a 
friend of mine; besides, he is a man with 
whom we may deal — if the jewel be de- 
sirable, he will be satisfied with your note 
of hand." — *' How, my lord !" replied the 
honest and polite toyman, ** the whole of 
my goods are subject to your commands. 
If .^Vvt^e diamonds please you, I shall have 



180 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

the greatest pleasure to settle with yoain any 
way that you may think most convenient." 
So much honesty and confidence deprived 
me even of the least suspicion of M. Light- 
fingered's character ; and without even 
thinking that such a galtant man would 
take too much from me, I desired him to 
hand the diamonds to Miss • • • • . "It will 
be only necessary, my lord, to give me a 
a word of acknowledgment." He imme- 
diately drew a note for the amount, which 
I signed forthwith. 

Gold helped Jupiter to deceive Danaiis' 
vigilance, and to subdue his daughter's seve- 
rity ; under the form of that all powerful 
metal, he penetrated through the brass tower 
in which she was confined. The diamonds 
worked no less wonders. Over-loaded with 
my gifts, Miss • • • • showed, in her turn, a 
most sanguine impatience to crown these 
rational endeavours to please her. M. 
Lightfingered, as an eloquent man, returned 
with her thanks, and assured me that my 
visit was eagerly expected. I flew to see 
her. " How elegant you are !" said the 
princess, on seeing me walk in. " No, truly, 
my lord, one cannot resist your tenderness." 
The reader hurries to guess the issue of this 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 181 

scene ; but he is deceived. The adroit fe- 
male played well her part, and was not em- 
ployed in her first experiment. She was 
in due time interrupted. She hastened to 
tell me, " that so fine a day must be 
crowned with an entertainment — this even- 
ings I shall expect you, that I may crown you 
in the presence of all your rivals. You 
must leave me ; some one is coming." My 
enchantress accompanied me as far as the 
parlour, wherein I ended, to be more deeply 
infatuated by kissing her fine hand, and 
taking from her lips the most subtle touch 
of love and folly. 

I dressed myself, and went to dine with 
the Doctor at the Baron • • • • 's, whose vast 
notions had emboldened me in the good 
work of emptying my pocket-book. From 
thence, I went to show myself at the opera ; 
from whence, more light and shining than 
Zephyrus, I flew near Flora, who awaited 
with her crown. It was near ten o'clock 
when I stepped into the house of Miss • • • • 
What a crowd ! and noise ! Forty coaches 
stopped the avenue; the coachmen were 
smoking under the arched way; a crowd 
of servants were pressing in the parlours ; 
fifty elegant rakes of quality, and as many 
a 



182 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

adorable nymphs, were playing in the varie- 
g-ated apartments. The eyes of so many 
happy being's were directed only to one ob- 
ject. The men, with jealous looks, seemed 
to envy his happiness ; and the women wait- 
ing a glance from him. That happy mortal 
was me — truly that was worth more than I 
could give. O my pocket-book ! why was 
you not still full? I should have soon 
emptied you in exchange for such a flatter- 
ing moment. 

The ball began. They caused me to 
open it with the mistress of the house. Per- 
fidious praises echoed in my ears. " It is," 
said they, " love that dances with the most 
beautiful of the graces." One may fancy 
seeing fifty young Frenchmen jeering in that 
manner a poor wretch, stiff and constrained, 
with the magnificence of his dress, which 
made him appear still more ridiculous, and 
whose stupid vanity readily believed the vain 
flattery. I was surrounded by men and wo- 
men, the whole of whom were emulous with 
each other in their courteous attentions to 
me. At midnight, a most superb banquet 
was served up. Whilst a part of the guests 
were enjoying that pleasure, another party 
were wandering in other apartments opened 
for the purpose, and lighted precisely to the 



A FortnigMs Ramble. 183 

degree which was suitable for the scenes in- 
tended to be performed in them. On an- 
other side of the rooms, they opened a con- 
siderable play of cards. Two marquises 
and a knight of Malta urged me to try my 
good luck j they were so engaging, and so 
adroit, that I could not resist. Fate, no 
doubt jealous of the favours which love was 
on the eve of lavishing on me, had resolved 
to dissipate my happiness, or atieast to alloy 
its excess with the most cruel severities. 
The gods of hell also conspired to lead me 
astray. I was blindly governed by a de- 
lirium, more delusively violent than that 
which I suffered at Major Sag's ; however, 
that was excusable on accou-ut of my intoxi- 
cation ; in less than two hour's time my un- 
fortunate pocket-book disappeared com- 
pletely, nothing more remained in it but the 
hopes of vSpaih. Love ! love ! you are not, 
therefore, the most powerful of the gods ! 
I then experienced a fit of rage which all 
thy delights conld not assuage. In vain 
thy myrtles were held up to my view ; my 
chilled senses were insensible to thy most be- 
witching hopes. What was still more pun- 
gent to my pride, was that the vastness of 
nny loss began now to be noticed. — Already 



184 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

those looks winch had been united in view- 
\ng me, were with indifference turned aside. 
Those of a less inhuman mind confined 
Uiemselves quietly within the limits of pity. 
My perfidious mistress, busy in gathering 
the profits of the pool, seemed to be a 
stranger to my ill-luck, as she troubled her- 
self very little about it. I reflected on so 
quick a change; at first dull and pensive, 
from the fear that I should become frantic, I 
hastened my departure from a place where, 
on my entrance, I had anticipated heavenly 
joy, but which now showed me only the 
torments of hell, with all its dread. I pass- 
ed through parlours overflowing with loath- 
some drunkenness, of servants asleep, and 
threw myself into my carriage, and roughly 
ordered the speechless coachman to drive 
me to my hotel. 

Provence had taken no care in waiting 
for me — he rose up, however, to prepare me 
for bed. " My G — ! my lord," cried he 
aloud, " I thought you was fast in the arms 
of the finest woman in Paris; instead of 
which I find you pale, wasted, and your 
looks quite wild." — " M. Provence," said I 
to him in a gloomy tone, " your country- 
men are great sharpers," — " My lord, there 



A ForinigMs Ramble. J 85 

are dishonest men in all countries." — " I am 
unfortunate enough to meet no one of any 
other description." — '* The reason is that 
honest people are sought for, and those you 
have seen come to cOurt us." This touch 
of morality surprised me, from the mouth 
of my agent of pleasure. — " It is neces- 
sary, my lord," added he, " to take a little 
rest ; if to-morrow, you condescend to re- 
late to me the particulars of the misfor- 
tunes which distress you, I will endeavour 
to find a remedy for them." With much 
displeasure I looked at him. His reflec- 
tions seemed to be impertinent and ill- 
timed. With a sad and stupid silence I 
went to bed. When my curtains were 
closed, grief and anguish of mind over- 
whelmed all my senses. My imagination 
ruminated wildly for present relief. The 
mines presented but a remote indemnity. 
I at length endeavoured to remove my 
fears from the hope I entertained of my 
dear Doctor's good offices. That illusion 
helped me yet to heave a sigh for • • • • . I 
recovered from my passion a little, when 
I dropped into consoling reflections on my 
weakness — but sleep flew from me, until 
day break, before 1 could close mv eyes. 
a 2 



( 186 ) 



TWELFTH DAY. 



The Doctor's Prudence. His Retreat. 

The morning's reflection presented me 
with all the heinousness of my folly, and the 
truth of all that happened stared me in the 
face. I asked for the Doctor, who had not 
been seen since his absence from the enter- 
tainment. I taxed my misfortune to my own 
imprudence, and I expected his advice and 
consolation. He came in. — ♦* Ha ! my 
dear friend," said I, " I am lost ! Alas ! my 
poor pocket-book." — " What !" said he, 
" is it empty ?" Here he lost the use of 
his speech, without answering me ; his face 
was chilled, and his eyes fixed to the floor. 
As he observed a profound silence, " I know 
not," added I, " what is to be done ; I stand 
in need of your advice and assistance." — 
" You altogether put me to a stand ; but 
G • • • • , your banker. — I am really most 
sorely vexed that the credits which yon 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 187 

have so unfortunately dissipated were not 
on • • • • ." A letteV brought in, interrupted 
us. It contained nearly what follows, writ- 
ten in English. 

" My affliction is extreme, my lord. I 
have been much grieved by your disap- 
pearing so suddenly from my house yes- 
terday ; however, after mature considera- 
tion, it is not such an unfortunate thing — 
had you been witness to an affront I just 
now received, your presence would have 
rendered it more sensible to me. Oh ! my 
lord, how far behind is this country from 
possessing the liberty enjoyed in yours ! — 
Could you conceive on my rising up that 
they quarrelled about my ball, and the play 
given at my house? Give me leave to ob- 
serve to you, that your imprudence in a 
great degree, brought on all tl^e noise and 
confusion. You are on the list with those 
who it is thought will be complained of. You, 
however, know that no one was compelled 
to act contrary to his wishes. You cannot 
imagine, my lord, what horror it must give 
to a woman, situated as 1 am, to be reprov- 
ed ! I beg of you not to come to-day," &c» 

I have forgotten the greatest part of her 
fine epistle— I have at least given the spi- 



188 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

rit and the particulars. I should be asham- 
ed to read the answer made to it ; I shall 
only say, it was analogous to my credulity, 
and the unlucky condescension which had 
drawn me aside from one stage of immo- 
rality to another. 

I sent it by one of my servants. He 
found the lady gone — on leaving the ball, 
she had stepped into the coach of the Mar^ 
quis • • • • . An awkward and ill-natured 
door-keeper, labouring under the vapours 
of wine swallowed the day before, made 
this unwelcome communication to my mes- 
senger, who related it to me without any 
disguise. 

Ruined at play, betrayed, and made a 
dupe of for the second time, my anger may 
easily be imagined. Not the least illusive 
hope was left to direct me; and the veil 
which ought to have dropped from my eyes, 
was now forcibly torn away. 

The Doctor had left me without any 
notice, at the time I v^as answering the 
letter from Miss • • • • ; inquiring for him, I 
was informed that he had left the hotel for 
some time. I sent to his house ; where he 
was not to be found. Alas ! my poor 
pocket-book ! how are you transformed ! 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 189 

Given over to my own thoughts, I remained 
for the rest of the day in a state of the most 
painful irresolution, confused with innume- 
rable projects in order to subdue the cala- 
mities with which I was so completely sur- 
rounded. 



( l^JO ) 



THIRTEENTH DAY. 



Additional and unexpected misfortunes. 
Grievous Disgrace. Consolation. Ex- 
traordinary Meeting. 

After the many misfortunes which I 
had met with during twelve days residence 
in Paris, I could not have expected that 
fate would have afflicted me, on the thir- 
teenth, with disgrace a thousand times, if 
possible, more msuft'erable. After having 
considered all the points that could secretly 
humble my vanity, punish my imprudence, 
and make me feel the pungent shame, from 
affront the most dishonorable ; the night was 
agitated with troublesome watchings. To- 
wards morning, I felt keen pains that were 
local. I could not be mistaken as to their 
cause, and with consternation I discovered 

it No doubt you understand me — a young 

and unadvised traveller, whatever may be 
his acquaintance at the opera, and especially 



A FortnigMs Ramble, 191 

if his connexions have been made by people 
whose professions should be that of mis- 
chief, could not lon^ escape. My blood 
soon rose to a state of fermentation at this 
sad discovery, and w2ls the more heated by 
my oppressive reflections. I shed tears of 
shame and madness, and with hatred recall- 
ed to my mind the execrable • • • ■ . 1 was 
thus overwhelmed in the bottomless pit, 
which repentance, shame, and despair, had 
dog- under my feet, when they announced to 
me M. Lightfingered, that same honest mer- 
chant who had sold me on trust the neck- 
lace which 1 had sent to the perfidious • • • • . 
** My lord," said he to me with a benign 
voice, " I have come to request the amount 
of your note." I was surprised with his un- 
expected haste. " How !" said I, stunned 
and looking pale as if guilty. The toyman 
observed my feelings. " Yes, my lord," 
continued he, raising his voice, " I have this 
instant learnt of your intentions of returning 
to England. I am convinced that you 
could not intend going away without ho- 
nouring your note." " I, to depart ! there 
is no appearance of it." — " Yes, my lord, to 
a certainty I was informed of your inten- 
tion last evening ; I have even thought it 



192 A Fortnight! s Ramble. 

prudent, from the many circumstances re- 
lated to me, that whatever may happen, to 
submit my claim to the law; but with a 
man of your rank, it would be unpardon- 
able for me to act unfairly with you. The 
judgment I have obtained shall only remain 
as a matter of form, because I am pretty 
certain you have not the least thought of 
wi'onging me. Your design of leaving 
Paris has originated, I am persuaded, with 
your enemies, who have designedly given 
me the information. It may perhaps be the 
case that you have reasons to hasten your 
return home, without having any intention 
of taking away, unpaid for, the property of 
a poor dealer." I was in amaze at every 
word uttered by my restless and timid cre- 
ditor. Circumstances were imperious enough 
to oblige me to check my anger: provoked 
by all the evils and abuses that befel me at 
once, I forgot that the man who owes, 
pledges his liberty to the one to whom he is 
indebted ; giving vent to my indignation, I 
imprudently abused the person into whose 
power I had thus incautiously surrendered 
myself. He answered my unprofitable 
abuses with threats, which he afterwards ex- 
ecuted. The hot-headed Provence, not less 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 103 

incensed than myself, thrust him with vio- 
lence out of the room. 

In the conflict which the angry M. Light- 
fingered had, when stepping out of the 
house, he dropped a note from his pocket ; 
one of my men picked it up, and immedi- 
ately handed it to me. I opened and hasti- 
ly read it. 

"The many obligations I am under to 
"you, sir, and the good understanding 
"which ought to exist between us, obliges 
"me to tell you that last night the little 
" EngHsh sot ruined himself at my house ; 
" furious and frantic he left it. Infallibly 
" he will leave the place without further 
" notice : it is not sufficient that I should be 
" rid of him ; you must likewise be paid. 
" The manner in which one of his coun- 
** trymen behaved two months ago, ought to 
" Warn you of like consequences for the fu- 
** ture ; provide yourself in time. As to 
" me, I leave town with the little marquis ; 
" at our return, we shall settle our little mat- 
'^ters. Burn this." 

Terror and dread caused the paper to fall 
from ray hand. Hell's furies themselves 
coitld not have equalled the transports of my 
wrath j it was so violent, that I was nearly 

R 



194 A Fortnight's Rambte. 

overcome by it. I sent for the Doctor : they 
brought me news that he was also gone to 
the country, where he should remain about 
three days with a sick person. "A sick 
person !" cried 1 aloud ; " it is the only one 
that he has, and to my knowledge the first 
during my stay in Paris; I will search 
through this iniquitous mystery ; the rascal 
is in colleague with the others !" I had not 
strength to say more ; the horror on seeing 
so much perfidiousness threw me for more 
than two hours into a crisis difficult to be ex- 
pressed. On return of my senses, I fell into 
other perplexities : my imagination pictured 
to my mind all the agents of deceived justice 
through the crowd of rogues who had drag- 
ged me along into this iniquitous labyrinth. 
There was not a moment to be lost ; it wa& 
time to act. I sent for the implacable 
creditor; my emissary found him very little 
disposed to return to my house. At length 
the hope of receiving ready cash, caused 
him to return. " I know, sir," said J on 
seeing him, " it is the rogues who have strip- 
ped me, that have suggested the alarm; 
which induces you to dishonour me ; but no 
matter, it is necessary to remove your fears. 
I have still effects of considerable value. 



A Fortnighes Ramble. 195 

which I \'p41l put into your hands as security 
until the moment that I shall have paid yon 
off." " My Lord, answered he, in spite of 
the ill usage I have to complain of, and the 
present want of ready money, yet I shal! 
feel pleased to serve you, and will do every 
thing- consistent with reason." " Well, sir!" 
replied I to him, " if in a month you are 
not paid, the property shall be yours." 
"Oh! my lord, I only ask what is just, with 
the interest of course : far be from me those 
hardened and remo'rseless souls, who secure 
their debts on treble and fourfold pledges, 
and, at a quarter of an hour's notice, seize 
upon them as their own." I then drew from 
my pocket book the precious share in the 
mines. " Here, sir," said I to him, " there 
is your security." After having read it 
overj "is that," said he coldly, "all you 
have to give me ?" — " How all ! that pro- 
perty cost me three thousand louis d'ors, 
and yoii should have the same for tive thou- 
sand." He contemptuously smiled. "I have 
some titles, my lord, like them to sell you at 
hfteen hundred livers, and in eight days one 
will be very lucky to get rid of them for no- 
thing. Farewell, my lord ; my services to 
you 4 my time is precious. If your money is 



i 96 A Fortnighes Ramble. 

ready send it before one o'clock." JEie went 
out, and left nie speechless, still more r?iging* 
than before. My despair rendered me stupid, 
and deprived me of the power of thinking. 
Terrilied at the uselessness of so great a sa- 
eriiice, silent, and with a fierce insensibility, 
I awaited my ill fortune. 

There were but a few minutes before the 
fatal hour struck, when the officers of law 
came to arrest me, by the kings order. — 
Lightning falling at my feet Would not have 
caused more dreadful effects, at the sight of 
the bailiffs who surrounded me; I roared 
like a lion; I foamed, and tears covered my 
face. J was obhged to go. I was led with 
Provence to L'Eveque's fort. Arrived at 
that abode of horror so new to me, I felt a 
cold sweat spreading all over my limbs : the 
sight of the monsters who appeared before 
me, the noise of twenty wickets which they 
opened in succession,, with their crashing 
noise, gave me fearful forebodings. In the 
midst of two rows of prisoners whom curi- 
osity had collected at my coming in, I pass- 
ed many rooms in that frightful dwelling, 
and came to a small gloomy place, which 
they said was designed for me. I threw my- 
self, or rather fell, without having strength 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 197 

to answer the consolations which desolale 
Provence used in order to raise up my cou- 
rage. I had denied myself food ; and was 
so much dejected, that if the sharp pains 
which avenged wrong morals and chastity, 
had not by times recalled me to the painful 
feeling of my odious existence, my destruc- 
tion would have been that of death. 

Towards six o'clock in the evening, the 
hideous noise of the keys interrupted again 
the silence which reigns under the doleful 
vaults of that dreadful mansion : they opened 
my door. What was my shame and con- 
fusion ! it was the Chevalier • • • • and Bouil- 
lac. At the sight of them, I hastily turned, 
and with my hands endeavoured to hide 
my face, from which my tears were flowing 
profusely : my broken heart Avas nigh leav- 
ing me. "From whence proceeds this af- 
fliction ?" said the Chevalier .... 3 " we 
are your friends ; and come here for the sole 
purpose of helping you. The noise occa- 
sioned by the insult to which you have been 
exposed has just come to our knowledge; 
and we did not delay a moment in coming 
to see you ; pray favour us my lord, by ac- 
cepting of our good offices, in exchange for 
\he confidence we request you to repose m 
R 2 



198 A Fortniyht's RamUe. 

us. I have brought Bouillac with me, be- 
cause I am sure his good heart will ever be 
ready to use all endeavours to be useful to 
you." I then raised up my cast down looks, 
and, with a sudden impulse of moving pity 
and gratitude, attempted to lay hold of the 
Chevalier's hand ; but shame forthwith got 
the better of me, and I could not. " Cheer 
up, my dear friend," said he; "one may be 
young and have committed many follies ; 
but it is necessary that our friends should 
have the liberty of relieving them. Frank- 
ly give to us the history of your situation; 
for we cannot effect any thing without your 
information." A Utile comforted by these 
words, I was able to relate to them the 
causes and circumstances of my distress. 
" I see nothing in that, my lord, to cause 

you to grieve so much," replied Bouillac 

" We will defer to another day those moral 
reflections which this business may suggest ; 
the matter in question is to get you out of 
this doleful dwelling : you must let your 
banker know your wants. The exhausting 
of the credits which you had on him, may 
he renewed by the confidence he no doubt 
will grant to us : I am under the necessity 
of postponing until to morrow morning the 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 199 

Urrangement for your getting out. It i& 
however necessary to procure for you this 
night all the ease and comfort which it is in 
our power to get for you m haste. . Be of 
good cheer j I leave you in order to shorten 
your stay." He left me with Bouillac, whose 
moving and tender-hearted friendship paci- 
fied my despair, and, by more quiet rejec- 
tions, prepared me to make amends for 
faults which I was very smcerely ashamed 
of. It was not long before the keeper led 
me into a more commodious and decent 
room. After having urged me to take some 
nourishment, the Chevalier • • • • left me, 
with tears in his eyes. 

I began to enjoy a little respite : like an 
unfortunate man di'awn oiit of a river, and 
brought to lite by degrees, in removing the 
fluid which choaked him, my soul began to 
swim over its sorrows. Weariness, in spite 
of the keen pains which affected the body^ 
lulled me to sleep. After my mind had re- 
covered its tranquillity, I would have given 
myself up to sleep, if Provence had not 
announced to me the visit of two prisoners, 
who with eagerness inquired for me. — 
They were lord M---- and M. P- • • •. 
He had scarcely mentioned their names: 



200 A Fortnight's Ramhte. 

when, without waiting for an answer, they 
forthwith came in. " Well! my dear comi- 
tryman," said to me Lord M • • • • , " what 
-unlucky chance has bi'ought you into our 
company ? As to me, J am the senior of 
the house ; truly, 1 am become as great a 
philosopher as Seneca : happiness is every 
where for a wise man. I live as happy 
as a king" ; and bullying the rogues who 
have put me in here, 1 am resolved to re- 
main an age rather than to give them 
one penny. As to poor ?••••, his stoical 
philosophy is not yet of a temper to make 
himself a Heaven of this Caucasus*. From 
time to time he laments being here ; but 
when he is childish, with good wine, punch, 
and pretty nymphs, who come to help us 
moralize, I set him a going, and then he 
learns how to dare ill-fortune," I listened 
with surprise at a speech which appeared so 
extraordinary from the mouth of the person 
who uttered it. Without giving me time to 
answer, *' This day," he observed " was 
for them a day of entertainment, and it will 
be necessary for you to divert yourself. Sad- 
ness nev«r stood before me ; you should be 
the first to whom my advice and example 

* A chain of rooiuitaiBS in Asia. 



A Fortnight's Ilamlk^ 201 

should not have suggested all at once Epic- 
tectus's unmoveableness, and Democritus's 
mirth. Come, my dear lord, I will intro- 
duce you to some Philosophers of my school ; 
there is here a nuinerous and good compa- 
ny, and many men more honest than those 
who keep them in." 

I wished to be excused, but it was impossi- 
ble. I was therefore led into Lord M • • • ■ 's 
room, where I found a very good supper, 
and the select citizens of Fort L'-Eveque ; 
but I could not enjoy the entertainment. 
They used every means in order to remove 
my silence. " There reigns after the feast 
a rule among us," said Lord M • • • • , " that 
a new-comer shall make a candid con- 
fession of the causes which procures for us 
the pleasure of his company. In order to 
incite him to do so, we each, by turn, relate 
to him a true history of our personal disgra- 
ces. It is from these first acknowledgments 
that we know one another ^ thus, my dear 
lord, be prepared to relate yours ; you shall 
now have mice. 

** Girls, wine, gambling, rogues, shar- 
pers in the garbs of priests and gentlemen, 
and especially a physician, M'honi our coun- 
trymen often mention in like cases 3 in short, 



202 A FortnighCs Ramble. 

my own foolishness ; these are the reasons 
which have co-operated to shut me up within 
these walls : but the ill-designed people who 
have been the cause thereof, thanks to my 
philosophy, will surely lose their labour ; I 
am perfectly satisfied, and I hope to out-Uo 
their patience. Do you, my friend ?••••; 
tell us without blushing- the na^;rative of your 
case." 

" My tale, my lord, runs in every re- 
spect on the same topics with those which 
you have now heard: like circumstances 
have thrown me into jail; but the great 
pliysician had a more direct share in my 
adventures. I could not relate to you the 
things ab ovo, without having his name 
ranked first. You shall therefore know it 
was but eight days after my arrival in Paris, 
that I became unfortunately acquainted with 
the Doctor. I was a little stimulated with a 
devilish lust ; and that of vanity prompted 
me with a frenzy to be talked of. The 
serviceable physician went to select for me 
a supposed innocent girl, who was yet un- 
der the care of the most tender of mama's. 
I bought and paid, as became the dignity 
.of a lord, favours that had no doubt been 
<?old perhaps a hundred times before. I was 



A Fortnights Bamhle. 203 

not long in discovering the cheat ; irritated 
to have been played the fool with, I wished 
to retract certain promises which 1 had giv- 
en to the supposed mother ; the cunning 
and prudent gipsy, skilled in the law, and 
knowing the notarial form in drawing up 
deeds, had given them a turn and a form 
which left no alternative for me, but the 
payment, which I wished to avoid, and they 
have brought me to this place of medita- 
tion, wherein I contest it with the help of a 
subtile attorney. My law-suit is simple. 
Through memoirs on the little J- • • -'s life, 
which I was lucky enough to gather in more 
than a B el, I prove my not having re- 
ceived the value thereof; therefore my pro- 
mises are of no effect. I go still further, 
est error personw^ the honest Mrs. .!•••• 
had promised me her daughter innocent and 
chaste as Diana. Now, she has given me 
only the person of a washer-woman living- 
near the Big flint, whom she had brought 
from the Boulevarts, in a place where vir- 
tue never dwelled. You are sensible, my 
lord, of the goodness of my cause ; but I 
am nevertheless shut up here, through the 
interposition of five or six brokers, whom 



204 A ForlniyM s Ramble. . 

that g-ood lady has influenced so to act. 
Were it not for lord M • • • • , I should have 
given myself over to the most foolish despe- 
ration. Perhaps I should have been silly 
enough to throw away to my persecutors 
money which I intend to make them pay for 
dearly, by forcing them to go through all 
the tests of the Police: besides, we lead 
here, as you see, a merry life. To your 
health, my lord; you are welcome with us." 
All the guests entertained me with a simi- 
lar recital ; at last it was my turn. " Lord 
M • • • • , said I, and M. P • • • • , have in- 
volved in their disgrace the Faculty. It is 
to the instigations of the same man, to 
whom I owe the shame and displeasure to 
have committed, alone, more follies in ten 
or twelve days, and to have been more 
cheated in that short space of time, than 
any one else has done during whole years." 
I began the relation with what had hap- 
pened to me during my stay. When I 
had ended : " Comfort yourself," said M. 
P- . • • to me, " you are not the only one 
whom he has led into such a ridiculous si- 
tuation, atid probably you wlH- ^Hot^ 6^ ' tlie 
last one. Give even thanks to' God, (Hat 



A ¥<yrtnigMs Hamhle. 206 

tilings have thus turned out. He has been 
the cause of your misfortunes, which is 
grievous ; but it would have been infinitely 
worse, had he taken on himself their cure" 
They wished [ should spend the remain- 
ing part of the night at table, and I had 
much ado to obtain leave from Lord M • • • • , 
to go and take a little rest in order to be 
the more fit the next day to settle my af- 
fairs. " How, settle !" said he, " you will 
then leave us soon !" " my lord," answered 
I, " I possess but little philosophy, and en- 
joy a considerable fortune: I would rather 
sacrifice my money and keep my soul's 
strength, which I am compelled to manage 
for a better opportunity : besides, the aspect 
of this place, however pleasing your com- 
pany may make it, would not agree with a 
convalescent." " Farewell, then, my dear," 
said he; " be healed; after that begin 
again, and come back here as soon as it 
will be convenient for you ; there is no doubt 
but you will find me here to welcome you 
a new." I withdrew, fatigued and oppres- 
sed with my misfortunes. I could enjoy 
but a sleep disturbed by turns with keen 
sufferings, arising from the disease with 
which I was afflicted, and by the sudden 



205 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

and painful starts which ended in mournful 
dreams, wherewith the place and circum- 
stances filled my brain. 



C 207 ) 



FOURTEENTH DAY. 



What kinxl of a man was my Provensal. — 
My leaving prison. 

Through the contraction formed by 
ihe close house-tops, which surround fort 
L'Eveque, morning- is later seen there than 
in any other place in Paris ; on the first ap- 
pearance of day through the iron bars that 
shut up my dorm ant- window, slower than 
myself, I was ia waked when it lighted my 
room : during an hour, I was busily think- 
ing within myself, and ashamed how I had 
been the dupe of such gross and cunning 
enormities. But vexation and anger had 
disappeared : I only looked on myself with 
that kind of concern which convinced me 
of a true and sincere change for the future. 
In these moments of my conversion, I sup- 
plicated heaven, and even thanked God for 
those afflicting pains, the sad and shameful 



208 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

effects of a guilty and deceitful voluptuous- 
ness. 

I especially viewed the supple and ser- 
vile meanness of the vile and contemptible 
wretch who had led me into paths strewed 
with flowers, through which I had been as- 
sociating with vice and dishonour. 

Provence was quietly snoring, when I 
determined to awake him. As he had been 
accessary to my follies, I wished to signal- 
ize by his conversion, the beginning of mine. 
" Mr. Provence," said I to him, " after what 
has happened to me, I should discharge 
you. Through the ingenious but contemp- 
tible errand you have done for me, you have 
contributed to hurry me on to the precipice. 
It would be enough to get rid of you : I 
will nevertheless forget the manner in which 
you have assisted to lead my youth astray, 
because I am in hopes that you will take on 
yourself to act as honourable and wise as I 
intend to do with those who shall be near to 
me." — " My lord, in the situation in which 
unfortunate circumstances have placed me, 
I thought to owe to your commands the 
most perfect obedience. Do me, however, 
the justice to be convinced, that I regretted 
f'Xtremelv to sec von with so much frenzy 



A Fortnight's Ramble ^ 209 

throw yourself into all the irregularities 
wherein they led you ; but it was not my 
duty or place to advise you, especially in a 
moment when you would probably have ill- 
received it. With sorrow I acknowledge, 
that I have acted as the dog who carried 
his master's dinner pendent from his neck j 
not being able to save it from the greediness 
of those who chanced to come in the way, I 
took my share. I nevertheless believe that 
you are too reasonable to make the differ- 
ence between a poor servant, who dis- 
charges the errand given to him, and the 
dangerous and impudent wretch who lays 
in ambush, and starts the opportunity." 
** Master Provence, you are pardoned, on 
condition that you show for the future as 
much honesty as rhetoric." " Ha ! my 
lord, be assured I would have the greatest 
pleasure never to perform any commands 
but those which will be most honourable to 
you. I have won nothing by my rambling 
in the world : my situation has especially de- 
graded me ; but I often times recall to mind 
my former principles and education."- — 
" How so," said I, " your education?" 
^* Yes, my education was Very good, and it 
rested with me to reap tlie benetit thereof 

8 2' 



210 A Forlnight's Ramble. 

If the recital of a poor devil like me was 
worthy your notice, you should be convinc- 
ed, my lord, that I have been led in similar 
schemes of acting- as those wherein you have 
been very nigh losing yourself, and even I 
could with reason lament the excess, of the 
late error wherein you was going unhappily to 
be the victim. In the progress of my randoms, 
a fatal experience had warned me how dan- 
gerous it is for a servant to remonstrate with 
his master ; an a\ enging hand has written 
on my back this lesson : Never relate to the 
great hiU what they are pleased to hear from 
y&u.'' I showed some curiosity to hear his 
tale, because I wished to know what inci- 
dent it could be to bear any affinity with the 
doleful career of the mischance I had just 
now experienced : he began nearly thus : 

" I was born at Riez, from honest parents. 
My father was an assistant judge; my 
mother was the daughter of a wealthy citi- 
zen of Marseilles : I am an only son, having 
a sister, this day well settled at Frejus. At 
the deatli of my kinsman I could expect 
an inheritance of about twenty thousand 
crowns. If ray rambling inclination had 
suffered me to have appreciated this little 
fortune, I should to-day have been an 
honourable and rich citizen, and at least 



Jl Fortnight's Ramble. 211 

coald have sat on the bench of some of the 
presidial courts of judicature. Bui dis- 
orderly senses and a licentious mind led 
me away from my duty, and has with my 
flattering prospects vanished altogether. I 
was studying* at Merseilles' college ; and 
shined in every one of the tragedies that were 
played by the scholars, which successes had 
inspired me with a taste for the stage. One 
day I ran away from my boarding house in 
order to visit the play ; and was much pleas- 
ed with all I had seen ; and above all things, 
I was sharply moved with the figure and 
playing of a young actress, whose eyes had 
quite another eloquence than that of my 
professor : before the end of the play, I was 
in love with Miss Victoire, and sealed with 
the dramatic spirit. From that instant, I 
resolved secretly to leave the college, and 
watched an opportunity to execute my pro- 
ject. One day I was informed by the 
scholars Vvho used to attend the play house, 
at the hazard of being soundly lashed, that 
the troop was to leave Merseilles for Aix. 
As soon as I knew they were on the road, I 
got away and went to meet ihem. Happi- 
ly my person happened to please the mana- 
ger. I was no doubt recalled to min<l by 



212 A FortniyMs Ramble. 

Miss Yictoire, who had considerable credit 
on his mind, with far more influence on 
the wh(ile set, to whom her charms and 
talents were very useful. I was accepted 
of. I will not take up your time, my lord, 
with the particulars of the comical part of 
my life. I have during two years trodden 
the country stage, giving myself up to all 
the debaucheries which commonly signalize 
dramatic strollers. 

" Wearied in going about thus, I set forth 
for Paris to seek my fortune, not daring to 
return to iny parents, to whom my condi- 
tion of stage player had rendered my es- 
cape an unpardonable crime. On the stage, 
I had many a time encountered the whistles ; 
I had acquired boldness and dauntlessness 
in my manners, which cannot be acquired 
any where else ; shortly I had a great many 
cofFee-honse acquaintances ; that in particu- 
lar of a little bunched Italian priest, who 
taught his language and sold antique pieces. 
That man knew the city's intrigues and 
shifts, and the disguises that are most favour- 
able to the art of cunning. He advised me 
to turn out for an abbot, and he would look 
out for me a tutor's place. * You are a good 
looking fellow,' said he to me ; * yon shall 
never be in want of places ; under this coat 



A Fortnight's Ramble. '213 

some reasonable woman may chance to give 
to you her heir for instruction, and without 
more ado to fancy you.' He took on him- 
self the trouble to obtain for me such a situa- 
tion. You could not imagine, said he to 
me, the many shifts the abbot's coat will 
enable you to go through : with it you are 
admitted every where. It is to that same 
easiness, I shall owe the pleasure to be of 
some service to you on this occasion : un- 
happily obliged to employ cunning, it is ne- 
cessary to take the garb that best fits to 
make us quickly succeed, and under which 
one may be perfectly secure. 

Four days after this conversation, my 
Italian came to see me. I have your busi- 
ness at hand, said he to me : on my request 
you will go and live at IVIadam • • • • 's ; she is 
a counsellor's wife. This couple have but an 

only son, who will be your pupil. Mr 

is an old man of sixty, and loves his son to 
idolatry, and lets his wife do as she pleases. 
You will have but little to do. His wish to 
have an heir caused him ten years ago to 
marry Madam • • • • ; she was no more than 
twenty. Pleased to have an offspring, no- 
thing could offend him as respects his wife, 
but an indiscreet noise; and his spouse 



214 A Fortnight's Ramhle. 

makes discreet and dignified use of his in- 
dulgence. A preceptor of your age and 
figure, and under this coat, the emblem of 
prudence, cannot fail to be acceptable; 
come and meet me towards five o'clock at 
the royal place, and you shall be immedi- 
ately introduced. 

" 1 was punctual to the rendezvous, and 
the same evening was introduced at the 
counsellor's house. Viewed from head to 
foot by Madam, after a few trifling ques- 
tions I was accepted. It was not long be- 
fore I fixed myself well in the house, and 
perceived that the care to be given to my 
scholar's education, in no wise formed the 
laborious part of my employ. The mama 
had an agreeable fresh and clear complex- 
ion. If I had been more reasonable, I 
shoud have lived in that house a long time 
happy ; and quietly waited the inheritance 
of my kinsman ; but my licentious temper 
soon destroyed my happiness. 

"Our dwelling was in the gardens of 
Paris : a washer-woman of Saint Anthony's 
suburb attended the house : she never came 
but in company with a little rumpled girl, 
of about fourteen years old. Through the 
little care that child took of her charms, my 



A For iniff Jit's Ramhle. 215 

nice taste and connoisseur look singled out a 
charming physiognomy, and besides certain 
amorous looks, one could hardly withstand 
the effect, especially in the situation I then 
was. It was some time before I had a wrest- 
ling with that young woman ; and our ac- 
quaintance was in pretty good forwardness. 
As she was one day in my room helping me 
to fold a pair of sheets she had called for, 
the mistress of the house came suddenly in ; 
she beheld my deed as a domestic theft; 
and thanks to her good will towards me, I 
made my peace the same evening ; but the 
little laundress did not come any more to the 
house. Love is very mischievous and stub- 
born : the more that a thing is forbidden, the 
more it runs in the head. The little girl 
stuck fast to my heart. I was incessantly 
busy about devising means of seeing her, 
and to make sure of her. My preceptor's 
fees were pretty good ; in another point of 
view my patroness amply supplied me with 
all that I needed. I even had the remain- 
der of considerable sums of money. No 
opportunity was allowed to escape without 
making me some gifts at new-year, and every 
species of annual days I always caught some- 
thing or other. With so many shifts, I 



216 A Fortnight's Ramble, 

imagined to board out Thereza ; and soor 
after effected it. 

" During a whole month, I quietly re- 
lished th€ sweets of this secret connexion. 
The lady counsellor ought to have per- 
ceived the void which necessarily followed 
in her pleasures. I concealed the cause> 
by feig-ning indispositions. The good lady, 
far from suspecting any thing, had the most 
delicate and attentive care taken in order 
to repair quickly the ruined condition of 
such an apparently declining health. How- 
ever, fortune seemed disposed to thwart my 
felicity. I could not give a lod^ing^ to 
Thereza, but in a suspicious house, afnd 
therefore known to the police. I went to 
see her every day towards the evening, wn- 
der divers pretences ; my amorous couasel- 
lor's indulgence and credulity prevented 
her from ascertaining the cause. The se- 
curing of an abbot is a pi'ize for that »»- 
civil police. Therefare I was taken up 
from my nymph's arms. I resisted ; which 
made a noise, and to avenge themselves, 
they sent me to B • • • • . Frightened by not 
seeing me return, the member of nay pjxpil 
sou^t information ; and it was not di^calt 
for her to trace out the begimwiwig of SMsch 



A ForlniyMs Ramble. 217 

an intrigue as mine. The scandalous cir- 
cumstances of this second infidelity seemed 
unpardonable. They neither wished to 
protect or see me. 

" I obtained my liberty after a fortnigbt*s 
correction. I went to see the Italian ab- 
bot ', he gave me the most severe and judi- 
cious reprimand. He had been requested 
to return all that belonged to me, with a 
few lois d'ors 3 the lady's anger did not hin- 
der her gratitude to add to the trifling pay 
of my fees. 

" This cruel disgrace had not extinguish- 
ed my foolish love. My first care was to 
endeavour to find out my dear Thereza. It 
was some time before I could meet her. 
They had her also in custody. But as she 
was young and pretty, one of the trustees 
pitied her, and provided tlie usual tribute 
she paid to the holy man -, her confinement 
was but short, and soon after she took shel- 
ter with an obliging woman accustomed to 
pick up the cast-off poor. 

" Thereza, in spite of the little misfortune 
she had been exposed to, showed a fresh 
and clear complexion, and besides being 
affable and engaging, Mrs. G- • • • resolved 
to mend her through the marvellous secret 



218 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

slie was in possession of; Thereza was ac- 
cordingly disposed of to the marquis D***, 
who, pleased with his good luck, soon after 
raised his conquest to the stately rank of the 
first Lais* of Paris. 

" As I was going one day to relieve my 
grief on the Boulevart, I espied in a superb 
coach, a face whose features caused a sud- 
den surprise, so as to keep all my senses in 
suspense. It was Thereza in the carriage ! 
Whatever might be the consequence, I re- 
solved to accost her ; and, taking advantage 
of my slender and tattered outward appear- 
ance, I drew nigh the door of her coach, hold- 
ing my hat, in the humble and suppliant pos- 
ture of an unhappy man : * My beautiful prin- 
cess,' said I to her, * have pity for a poor 
young man without work, who has not a 
livre to reach his country.' Miss ***, for 
the submissive Thereza had disappeared, 
proudly and with an incredible sang-froid, 
let drop into my hat a piece of money. 
Turning her head afterward, she renewed, 
without any further notice, the conversation 
she had begun with some rakes of quality, 
who were forward, opposite the coach 

* A famous courtesan of Corinth, -wlio lived in the tiiBe tf 
the Grecian Republic. 



A Fortnight's Rmnble. 219 

floor." Here, with astonisfiment, I inter- 
rupted my valet de chambre's narration. 
How, was that wicked woman known to 
you, when 1 sent you on an errand to her 
house ? " Yes, my lord : but I was aware 
of recaHing- to her mind my former good 
luck. I dared still less to mention any 
thing- about it, for a reason you will hear. 
I did not know then, as obscure as may be 
the origin and beginning of a courtesan, 
that the torrent of their prosperities would 
make them forget it so fast, that from one 
day to the following, they have no remem- 
brance of the past, and on a sudden be- 
come as insolent as 1'herezaj I was also 
ignorant of the uselessness and danger 
Ihete would be in undeceiving a rake of 
quality. 

" The wish to avenge myself of such an 
insulting contempt, affected me most sensi- 
bly : 1 resolved to be satisfied. My imagi- 
nation was at its wit's end to find out the 
means of introducing myself to ***. By 
joining with the marquis' livery, they in- 
formed me he had need of a runner. 
Sprightly and well shaped, I thought fit to 
offer him my services; I was accepted. 
With impatience T waited the moment 



220 A Fortnight's Ramble, 

wherein my master could give me some 
•M-rands for my perfidious '•'**; that satis- 
faction chanced to happen to me the very 
day of my entrance. Far more swift than 
an arrow, I flew to the place where I 
thought to cause a blush from an ungrate- 
ful girl. Poor silly fellow I was ! aware it 
was more easy to cause a river to run back 
than to put out of countenance a lady of 
J^>leasure, I only caused an unprofitable 
clamour, which she laughed at : in vain I 
wanted to convince the marquis who was 
his mistress ; but 1 was treated as a rogue 
and an impostor; and after a severe bas- 
tinado, I was on his complaint sent back to 
the hellish tower wherein my foolish love 
had before consigned me. I remained 
there three whole months ; during which 
long retirement, I had sufficient time to 
make serious reflections on my past life. 
I pictured to myself the quiet and pleasant 
life, which my good conduct would have se- 
cured for me in my father's house. I com- 
pared it with the kind of wretched, mortify 
ing and vagrant life which I led, without 
house or a home, and that of the vile and 
false part of a complaisant under an abbot's 
garb. ] represented to myself the grievous 



A ForlnighCs Ramble. 221 

Crisis which those two characters had 
brought me to. I resolved that whatever 
the consequence might be, to make my 
peace with the judge, my father, and like 
the prodigal son, to return to Riez, with a 
pilgrim's staff in my hand. 

" The instant I recovered my liberty, I 
executed this laudable project. I got un- 
der way, ignorant of the dangers attendant 
on a young man on the high road. My 
only shifts to go forward, depended on the 
kindness of the charitable people I should 
meet with. Coming to some distance from 
Lyons, I drew near a big man, who also 
travelled on foot. His disposition seemed 
to be frank, and he was good companj. 
1 related to him my secrets. No one could 
be more obliging. He took pity on a poor 
lad, and offered to pay, as long as I should 
be in company with him, all our expenses. 
On the day of parting, he said to me, * on 
your own receipt, which you will give me 
for your parents to pay me hereafter, I will 
supply you with means to return home.' 
I was much pleased with this man's good 
lieart, and thanked God for such a happy 
meeting. Come to our night's lodgings, my 
companion ordered me to be waited on 
T 2 



222 A Fortnight's Ramble. 

with the very best in the inn : he also presj»=- 
ed me to drink plentifully. I was amazed 
at the pilgrim's munificence ; but my youth, 
rejecting" all further reflection, I gave my- 
self up to whatever it pleased him to direct : 
before our parting, he generously lent me 
ten crowns, for which I gave him my note 
of hand, drawn up as best suited him ; for 
it concerned me but little. 

"What was my surprise, on the nexl 
moiling, to be awaked by a sergeant be- 
longing to the regiment • • • •, who signi- 
fied that I was enlisted, and that it was ne- 
cessary to set off in order to join the troops 
at Calais. 1 knew then how 1 had been the 
dupe of the perfidious fellow who had the 
day before coaxed me so much. I could in 
no way excuse myself; I was obliged to 
march. During three years I carried the 
musket ; at the end of that time, my lord, 
having had the good luck to save sir Charles 
from a danger that threatened his life, he 
generously gave me my discharge. I went 
over with him to England, and for my 
good behaviour he placed me near you. I 
ask your pardon, if I had been led into the 
road you was taking ; but it belonged not to 
me to remonstrate with you ; I have already 



A ForiidghCs Ramble. 223 

had the honour to mention to you that in the 
dehriiim yoa was in, you would have re- 
ceived my advices with no better grace than 
the marquis did. St. 11 more undeceived 
than you, as respects women ol" pleasure, 
gamblers, and physicians, especiaiiy, the de- 
termination to wail on you as an honest 
man, which will be of no burthen to me ', 
and 1 hope through the good testimony 
which you will have to bear of my character, 
united with that of your uncle sir Charlesj 
to obtain a reconciliation with my poor 
parents, to whom I have caused so much 
grief." 

The conclusion of poor Provence's recita! 
moved me greatly. How! said I to my- 
self, can it be possible that a man who has 
been a player, an abbot, a merry blade, and 
a slave, should still preserve in his heart the 
precious germ of virtue, whilst another 
wretch, independent and classed in an order 
which ought, through usefulness and know- 
ledge, to aim at general esteem, should volun- 
tarily prefer vice? Should then perverseness 
be born with us ? One sees every day so 
many repelling examples, as almost to in- 
cline us to that opinion. It was ten o'clock 
in the morning, when Bouiilac came to the 



224 A ForMyMs Ramble. 

prison with the information that my banker 
would pay all the debts which 1 had contract- 
ed ; and they had even been busily employ- 
ed to avert my being duped by the plot contriv- 
ed between Lightfingered, • • • ., and others, 
who were to have shared the plunder with 
them. Then Bouillac, in the most delicate 
manner, spoke to me about the alteration of 
my health ; and did all in his power to learn 
its condition ', but I could not form the reso- 
lution to let him know any thing on that 
head. After having made up the amount 
of my debts, and wants, and made a defini- 
tive arrangement with M. G* • • • ; he, with 
Bouillac, conducted me back to P • • . . 
R..--'s hotel, where I formed a very 
strange resolution. Ashamed of my con- 
duct, and labouring under a very painful 
disease, I ordered Provence to dispose of 
every thing, in order to take the road next 
day for Calais. " My lord," said he to me, 
" have you made up your mind about it P" 
** Yes," answered I, " I think of it most se- 
riously : this country's air is poisoned ; I have 
neither reason nor strength enough to avoid 
its infection." " But at least, my lord, you 
must take your time for — " No," interrupt- 
ing him hastily, " I have nothing to do Iiere, 



^1 ForlniyhCs Ramble, 325 

nothing' can keep me from leaving it. On 
the contrary, I have to recover the esteem of 
sir Charles in England. By the acknow- 
ledgroent of my inexcusable extravagances, 
I will at least endeavour to convince him of 
my repentance. Health and life are nothing 
to me. I must absolutely go, and I swear 
not to put my feet again in Pans, until a few 
years experience and study shall have plac- 
ed me in a condition to see and act as a man." 
" 1 very well perceive, my lord, that it i& 
necessary to obey 3" and immediately he set 
himself to work. 



( 226 ) 



FIFTEENTH DAY. 



Wise reflections on a defective law. Adieu 
and parting. 

Provence had executed my orders j 
Jmy trunks were packed and placed in my 
coach, when my friend Bouillac stepped in 
to see me. In coming through the yard he 
had perceived all these preparations. — 
" What does all this mean, my lord," said 
he ; " you will depart? must then your true 
friends suffer on account of your just indig- 
nation against the bad characters whom you 
have hitherto met with ? Be equitable 
enough to give yourself time to become ac- 
quamted with some others, whom 1 dare an- 
swer will derive your highest esteem." I 
replied to Bouillac, that I wished personally 
to relate the story of my faults to sir Charles. 
1 took great care, however, not to impart to 
him the least hi at of any physical hindrance to 
my departure ; lest he should have taken the 
advantage, in order to delay my journey. 



A Fwtniyht's Ramble. 227 

I alleged none but those causes, which 
BouiUac strengthened v/ith moral reflections. 
"What a sad abuse of intellect it is, ray 
lord," said he, "for youth to destroy them- 
selves by bending to every impulse with 
which the designing and artful knave may 
be pleased to inspire him ! There cannot 
be greater abuse, not only to excite and 
strengthen his imprudence, than to furnish 
him with the means of being only conspicu- 
ous for vice and folly ; young Englishmen 
who, without discretion, too soon become 
masters of their fortune, and when they ar- 
rive in France on a tour, they too often lose 
their health and patrimony in a manner almost 
always ridiculous and scandalous ; which 
might be avoided with more certainty, if 
governed by the judgment of a few years of 
further experience and knowledge, than can 
be reasonably supposed to be formed at the 
age of one and twenty. At that period of 
life, the difference of a lustrum* produces 
many changes in the mind. If one should 
make up a list of those who have been ruin- 
ed from this untimely facility of disposing 
of their fortune and actions, one would per- 
ceive that all the mischief principally turns 

* A period of Sve years. 



228 A For iniff Jit's Ramble. 

on that deceptive point. No doubt, mj 
lord, you will one day rise to celebrity in the 
British senate : and I hope you will signal- 
ize your patriotism by obtaining a restrictive 
act, which may require an additional four 
years, as the test of age for nobility and for- 
tune, to form the strongest barrier between 
youth and folly." I was even myself a liv- 
ing proof of the truth of Bouillac's opinion, 
and too much convinced, not to reason 
accordingly from his experience. " One 
might," continued he, " be offended with me, 
for making these reflections : one part of the 
industrious citizens of this city, calculate on 
the delirium of the English for their subsis- 
tence : numbers of our saving folks have ac- 
quired in the run of business a pretty large 
stock, and I have heard it mentioned twen- 
ty times, that an opera girl obtained more 
wealth from the profuse extravagancies of 
your young lords, than a whole manufacto- 
ry could derive by its exportations. This 
manner of drawing British gold into France, 
can never make part of my principles. I ac- 
knowledge to you, my lord, I should rather 
wish to destroy the escheatage* ; then your 

* Any lands or other profits, that fall to a lord within his 
manor by forfeiture oi" the death of his tenant, dying without heir 
general or special. 



A Fortnight's Ramble. 229 

eld men would no move dread to die here. 
They would come and prolong their days, 
by breathing the pure air of our provinces. 
1 believe, with deference to our bed-side 
calculators, that they would gain more 
by causing you to live longer, than by lead- 
ing you so quickly to ruin. I however hope, 
with your turn of mind, that you will have 
no necessity of waiting a more advanced age 
for instruction, and that you will shortly re- 
visit the friends you leave." 

From Bouillac's request, I called with 
him on the earl ***, and his friend the che- 
valier ***, to receive their commands. Hav- 
ing returned home, he did not quit me un- 
til the moment when I stepped into the car- 
riage, when tenderly moving an adieu, we 
parted, 

I had Provence along with me ; we rolled 
as far as St. Denis, without having utterd a 
single word. It however seemed as if I 
breathed with more ease, the further I drove 
away from the fatal abode of Paris. By 
degrees, the grief of shame and repentance 
changed itself to a feeling more quiet, ac- 
cording to the distance I was leaving be- 
tween me and the place of my errors. In 
spite of the trouble, some disease whicli 

TJ 



23Q A Fortnight's Ramble. . 

produced math reflection, my soul felt in- i 
finitely more calm ; and the moment the ^ 
steeples pf that dangerous city were not 
t)erceivable in the horizon, J was almost 
arrived at the point of perfect tranquillity. 
The evening was beautiful. All along- the 
road, I compared the cheering, inoffensive, 
and merry groups of the harvest people, 
which I perceived in the country around, to 
Ihe idle and proud men-servants, and even 
to the corrupt medley of every species of 
people with which Paris is poisoned. Citi- 
zens useful and respectable, said I within 
myself; what! is it then honesty, labour, 
and virtue, which sow and cultivate, and 
the insolent, lazy, and vicious, which gathers 
and enjoy,! whatever it may be, I would a 
thousand times prefer your evils and your 
log-houses, to deceitful pleafsures with all 
their stately palaces. At least, one cannot 
bere meet, with a certain Doctor ; played 
by a *** ; there is neither Fragment nor. 
IJghtfingered ; nor be stung with the smart 
remembrance of a ***, 

Whilst I was indulging myself with these 
reflectiotis, I already flew towards Amieus, 
Night did not interrupt my speed, and 
without stopping, we arrived, at Calais. I 



1 



A Fortnight's Ramble, 231 

enjoyed no real rest, although free from 
* trouble and doubts, until I came to Dover. 
The reader has seen the chain of my 
weakness and extravagance, during a fort- 
night's ramble in Pans. Whatever may 
have been my folly in that short space of 
time, my countrymen in France do not 
blush in committing every day. He will 
even find more than one, in the career 
of foppery and vice, far lohave transcended 
me, Shonld I perceive that my country- 
men relish the lessons to be drawn from the 
confession made, I shall soon complete 
them by giving an account of my second 
Journey to Paris. I shall show, by way of 
conUast, that the only unmixed pleasures of 
moral goodness, are as delicious and profita- 
ble, as vice is odious and contemptible. 



END OF THE FIRST EXCURSION. 



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